Community Chat

[stazgirl]

On 9/26/2014 ckr1147 said:

Terrier -

I am not sure if any or all of the wages are "under the table" - older brother is a construction foreman and hires younger brother for his crew - younger brother has never held a job "on his own" - just no self confidence or self esteem, plus anger management issues, which would probably get him fired anyway...he brings home $250/week when he works (depending upon the construction jobs older brother is running) Older brother has fired younger a couple of times, but always hires him back - I guess he feels guilty.

Younger brother blames the world for his problems, instead of placing the blame where it belongs - himself. He has never been held accountable and has learned "poor me" habits from his mother....

Lets just say it is a screwed up situation all around....sometimes I don't know why I care....

you CARE because your grandson is involved, however, it is hard to watch, yet, if you keep bailing them out, they keep expecting it and will never riase above. I would never tell anyone what to do, everyone has to make their own decisions, but if this was the situation for me. I would try as hard as I could to become a custodial guardian of that boy until his father was on his feet, knowing the boy was safe with you would probably make it easier to breakthe cycle of dependance he has on you (for you)
You would not feel so respnsible to keep supporting them. I also relize that taking the boy may not be what you want to do, because of age, health, finance or just because you DO NOT want to raise another child, or other reasons. (all absolutely acceptable) But I do not see where these people have shown any indication that they want to help themselves, so not much you can do. ALSO, if brother has been FIRED by brother numerous times, he must not be a good worker, EVEN AFTER being given chance after chance.

"the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing expecting a different outcome"

[viva923]

There was a story in our local newspaper about this type of situations in our area. Most of these stories are really bogus. Many of those who stand on the street corners. contact agencies and so forth "saying they can not work for this reason or that reason", are really scammers who really don't want to work, and depend on people who are soft hearted and give them money at those street corners, or thru agencies. They play the system. This is how they make there money.

The reporters who did the story asked one of the people who does this "pan handleing" daily will pull in at times several hundred dollars a week.

It was a very interesting and eye opening article

[ROMARY]

Just got back from a short afternoon walk, and haven't read all of the posts........One of my walking friends asked me whether your DH is paying child support? If so, seems to me that DS is being taken care of, financially. Hopefully. ...... CORRECTION: It's the O/P's DH's grandson, so disregard my statement.

[ROMARY]

newlook: I suggested the same thing on another thread a couple or so weeks ago. I think it's a better idea.........move to a state where assistance is available. Better than financially 'dragging down' the other family members. Because it's all in the numbers.........dragging down the rest of the family only means that everyone else in the family ends up on assistance, too.

[chickenbutt]

I can't help thinking that the guy needs to get off his duff and work. period.

Probably a fair amount of us have had a broken leg. I had a broken leg to the extend that my femur was broken IN HALF. I healed (well, somewhat) and went on to work almost 30 years after that. I'm sure others have had similar experiences and what do you do? You do what you have to do.

He has a kid. He needs to act like a man.

Sorry, but it just irks me that he is doing this to his kid, his mother, and the rest of his family.

Meanwhile, she could still work, at least part time.

[stazgirl]

On 9/26/2014 ROMARY said:

Just got back from a short afternoon walk, and haven't read all of the posts........One of my walking friends asked me whether your DH is paying child support? If so, seems to me that DS is being taken care of, financially. Hopefully.

Her DH son is 30 yrs old!!! child support stopped yrs ago. It is the 10 yr GRANDSON she is concerned about

[stazgirl]

On 9/26/2014 viva923 said:

There was a story in our local newspaper about this type of situations in our area. Most of these stories are really bogus. Many of those who stand on the street corners. contact agencies and so forth "saying they can not work for this reason or that reason", are really scammers who really don't want to work, and depend on people who are soft hearted and give them money at those street corners, or thru agencies. They play the system. This is how they make there money.

The reporters who did the story asked one of the people who does this "pan handleing" daily will pull in at times several hundred dollars a week.

It was a very interesting and eye opening article

I have seen those also. Here in Phoenix they did a story about this and follwed one of them back to one of the RICHEST neighborhoods in town!! Also, we at work laugh because there is a guy who stands on the street corner with a sign asking for help. He wears a cast on one leg. ONLY thing is, It is NOT always on the same leg. I alway tell my hubby I am going to stand on a corner with a sign that says "I WORK for a LIVING, need money to SHOP""

[stazgirl]

On 9/26/2014 chickenbutt said:

I can't help thinking that the guy needs to get off his duff and work. period.

Probably a fair amount of us have had a broken leg. I had a broken leg to the extend that my femur was broken IN HALF. I healed (well, somewhat) and went on to work almost 30 years after that. I'm sure others have had similar experiences and what do you do? You do what you have to do.

He has a kid. He needs to act like a man.

Sorry, but it just irks me that he is doing this to his kid, his mother, and the rest of his family.

Meanwhile, she could still work, at least part time.

My husband has a gentleman at his work with NO LEGS, confined to a wheelchair who works in one of the offices. So YEP!! I agree!!

[ROMARY]

chickenbutt: Yes, I agree........but you/we can't make people work. If they aren't ambitious, and all they do is text, play play stations (or whatever the gadgets are), not much of a chance that they will ever feel as though they want to get out of the house and have a sense of accomplishment in life. And as long as family members continue to enable them, well, why bother. I'm only referring to physically/mentally able folks, not unfortunately disabled and/or very elderly folks. Although, around here, there are excellent programs and groups/etc. that work with some folks and help them work, just so they will feel as though they are contributing to society, (if they choose to do so). There are so many wonderful programs everywhere to help people feel good about themselves. A reason to get up and out of the home, if physically possible. Many folks, including seniors, around here are picked-up by special mini vans, etc. and brought to various group gatherings, etc. All optional, of course.

[ROMARY]

On 9/26/2014 ssssgirl said:

On 9/26/2014 ROMARY said:

Just got back from a short afternoon walk, and haven't read all of the posts........One of my walking friends asked me whether your DH is paying child support? If so, seems to me that DS is being taken care of, financially. Hopefully.

Her DH son is 30 yrs old!!! child support stopped yrs ago. It is the 10 yr GRANDSON she is concerned about

Oh, thank you. I stand corrected! I'll call my friend. I guess I wasn't thinking when she asked the question.........I'll try to edit my comment.