Having a hard time adjusting to retirement - Page 5

nambee · ‎05-08-2022

@gellen First, congratulations on your retirement! You've earned this new chapter in your life.

I retired 5 years ago during covid. Being single, I spent the first months in virtual isolation. I did keep in touch with friends by phone and text and would meet friends for a walk outside til restrictions were lifted. So, as much as I was happy to retire, the beginning was a little tough.

You've gotten some great suggestions here. Try your local senior/community center, library, churches, etc. They usually have flyers for different activities in the area. Also check with your local women's clubs - they are often looking for new members. Local colleges also have classes that seniors can audit for free.

Don't be shy about trying something that interests you. And don't be afraid to go by yourself. You will find other people there just like you. And they will have lots of ideas of other things that are going on in your area that you can explore.

Most important, give yourself some time to adjust. Remember, most major changes in our lives (even happy ones) are stressful and we need time to acclimate to them. It's ok not be thrilled each and every day but you will find happiness as your life unfolds. And if you continue to struggle, don't be afraid to find a counselor who specializes in these kind of life transitions. A few sessions may be all that you need to put you on a new path.

Good luck!

mrshckynut · ‎06-19-2011

@gellen was great from the getgo and i never look back

started my own business and spend more time doing things i love

working regular hours for a a big busness is over for me

mrshckynut

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

@gellen I didn't because I had 6 grandkids here in town at the time that needed everyday taxi-ing to school, from school to activities. Or just to stay at my house til parents got home. Than was 20 years ago. I retired early. And this went on until about 7 years ago. They got in cars, graduated and such. I experience more time I need to fill now, as they are all gone and I'm not able to do much last 2 years with mobility issues.

my husband retired 7 years ago and there is another story. He did nothing. Was crabbier than usual. Sat in den with computer all day. Was a little forgetful. He usually was like energizer bunny with house chores and such. He didn't do anything, and he WHINED all the time. I thought this isn't going to work. lol. Get a job! lol then after about 9 months or so, he snapped out of it. Kept occupied, has a schedule sort of. His days are full. He keeps in shape. He found adjustment and a life after work, and is enjoying it now.

retirement is a big adjustment, sometimes just the co worker friendships, the company they gave you, and time spent at work ,kept your days full. find a group. A reading group, exercise group. Maybe a hobby at community services. Volunteer one day a week. So many places need you especially in these times. Call friends to visit. Anything. My mom got up (who was single), got dressed,and went out all day. First to breakfast, read paper, visited. Actually she made company at the cafe she went to It was sort like of CHEERS....serving coffee. lol. I hope you find something, it's an adjustment! But you will find the happy spot!
ETA Spelling error

“sometimes you have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on”….Bob Dylan

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Speaking of taking a Spanish class........

In high school, I didn't learn (or remember) much. Verb conjugations, etc. Way too technical (or whatever it's called).

I'm now interested in taking "conversational" Spanish classes, thanks to a poster who mentioned perhaps taking Spanish classes.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Desert Lily · ‎06-24-2011

@gellen Like @nambee , I retired during covid.

I lived on the West Coast & my child settled on the East Coast following college. Both of my parents passed while I was working, my husband passed & so did my local BFF. My 2 siblings & my other BFF's lived in different states.

I felt so isolated & even had some panic attacks the last couple years I worked.

I kept connected with my family & my BFF's by zooming during the shutdown.

I had planned to sell my house & move near family when I retired, so I concentrated on that. I moved East 3 years ago.

One thing that helped me is my hobby; I write novels. It became my reason for getting out of bed for a while (or not getting enough sleep bc I want to get the ideas on the computer).

Another thing that helped me at first was structuring my time. I set meal times, certain days to do laundry, exercise time, writing time, bed time, shopping days, etc. But if I got off schedule bc I was busy doing something else, it didn't really matter. All my time is now my own.

Last year, I tried doing some serious gardening & yard work. I found that I really hate it & will schedule my yard guy more often this year Lol.

At times, I've kept myself very busy with projects. But other times I think if I got off the hamster wheel, I'd realize that I'm still pretty much alone in my own life.

I reach out to my BFF's & family. My closest BFF & I never talk on the phone for less than 3 hours & it usually ends up to be 5 or 6! (She lives alone too)

Along with many ppl on these boards, I often keep the TV on for background noise. @Oznell got me into watching the old Perry Mason shows & other posters share interesting movies & shows they watch.

Although I wanted to retire that last year or 2 at work, I was afraid that I'd feel bored, lonely, no longer useful. - But that didn't happen.

It was nice to not have to get up at 4:15, to not squeeze a week's housework into 1 weekend day, & to spend more time with my fur baby.

Congrats on your retirement

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@sandy53 wrote:
I strongly suggest having something that gives structure to your day. That could be a flexible part-time job, volunteering, taking a class, teaching a class, etc. But you need some reason to get out of bed every day.

The best advice I got about retirement: make sure your husband knows you don't make lunch every day. I know the op is single, but it might help some other readers.

@sandy53 @gellen

It might be time to look into getting a 4 legged roommate.

I can't wait to get a cat again. Soon.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

@gellen wrote:
Did you experience the same thing or where you happy from the get go? It was my choice. I guess I will need to find more things to fill my time as I am single with a smaller townhouse.

@gellen

I did not think I would have a hard time but I did! I had worked steadily from the time I was 18 and I retired when I was 66! I was always on the clock and never had much free time. I was either working or trying to keep up with things at home or helping my mom and/or family with things. Then - suddenly -- boom -- no schedule --- it was like somembody pulled the plug! I never really had hobbies and was never a sporty person. I did not know what to do with myself! Instead of feeling happy --- I was depressed!

I had to give myself time to adjust and learn that it was o.k. to not get up at a certain time every day, or eat at a certain time, or go to bed at a certain time. I had to get my brain to grasp that I was free to come and go as I pleased! It took me several months. Now, every day just goes so fast that I don't even know where the time goes! I do occasionally miss working but then it quickly passes! Don't worry -- what you are feeling is natural. Good luck and best wishes on your retirement. You earned it, so now just enjoy it!!!

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

webbgarner1 · ‎06-13-2017

There are plenty of activities to do to fill your tiime. Volunteers are often needed and appreciated in a number of venues, hospitals. volinteering at nursing homes to read to the eldersly, maybe someone would like to read the bible, or a novel or the newspaper and they are visually impaired. Voluntterring at local no kill animal shelters, to take dogs on walks and help socialize them for adoption, volunteering at schools. Or maybe you know someone who is the caregiver and they are really worn down. Offer to sit with t their loved one for a couple of hoursw so they can get a nap or go to a hair appointment or offer to pick up dinner for them or cook a meal for them. Does not have to be an elaborate meal. Could be hot dogs, a ruben sandwich, spaghetti, hpmemade soup and grilled cheese.

Some community colleges allow retirees to audit classes. You can sit in on lectures, do the assgnments, kind of like a spectator. You do not pay but you do not get credit either. but you can learn a lot and make friends.

Keeping your mind and body active is key. Join a gym, or pickleball, go for walks in a safe area.

You caould take a part time job in a low stress area. I know one woman who is a shuttle driver for a car dealer, picking up and dropping off people who need their cars repaired or serviced. The possibilties are too many . Good luck to you. Enjoy your retirement>

granddi · ‎03-16-2010

@gellen wrote:
Did you experience the same thing or where you happy from the get go? It was my choice. I guess I will need to find more things to fill my time as I am single with a smaller townhouse.

One thing I discovered is that my skill set did not match the retirement community activities. If you don't engage in what the community is doing you will be left out. My friend said her new retirement friends play bocce ball and she is so bored but it is what they do.

Many groups are based upon playing games such as : Bridge, Mah Jongg, Canasta, Bunco, Golf, Pickleball. Others often mention volunteering but also look for special interest groups such as Book Clubs, Wine groups, Ancestry, fittness, crafts for example.

I enjoy talking to all people but sometimes I find certain activities boring and unfulfilling. I consider it just part of my life readjustment.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

I retired more than a decade ago to be a caregiver to my mother and my husband. I did my best for both and lost them within 11 months of each other. Despite some very rough times, I have loved every day of my retirement. I wouldn't take anything for the years my husband and I had together, enjoying what we worked so hard for.

My heart is filled with peace; I am content and will continue to live my life doing what makes me happy. My goal is to just breathe and be.