Having a difficult time with this

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I will try to explain this, my mom is in a nursing home,for a few months now, back in Indiana, no hope of her getting better,to return to her home, so the house was put up for sale,it is the house she has lived in since the 60's, it sold in one day, my brother is handling everything, he doing a great job, even though i left there in 1970,got married i feel so sad with all of this,for my mom. Items are being taken, which is fine ,i just feel such a loss of what was.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

spumoni99 · ‎02-16-2019

I am sorry your going through this, it is hard that the chapter of your life is over. At least you and your brother are on the same page with everything.

Jacie · ‎01-09-2011

@goldensrbest I know that feeling all too well. I can only tell you to take it day by day, breath by breath. My mother lived in her home for 64 years, Cleaning it out for sale was hard. It was the house I grew up in and it held so many memories. In the end I had to rationalize that her things and house were simply that, "things", and part of the fabric of my memories, always to be cherished in my mind.

I was asked why I didn't take more to incorporate into my house and life. My answer was that I had enough "stuff" and was busy making memories for others, as she had for me.

Wishing you the best in your journey!

"Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral." -Garfield

LavernLuvsShoes · ‎07-13-2021

It's understandable that you're feeling a sense of loss.

Selling the house and disposing of the contents signifies the end of an era and it reinforces the fact that your Mom is no longer the woman she used to be.

Hope you feel better soon ♥

cheriere · ‎12-01-2023

@goldensrbest It's a difficult time with your mother being ill in the nursing home. Add to that the quick sale of your childhood home. It would be a lot to take in a short period of time especially. I'm sure I'd feel the same way.❤️

LindaSal · ‎05-15-2014

@goldensrbest Sorry you are going through this. Sadly it is part of life and we all have to deal with it at one time or another. My heart goes out to you.

nyc1 · ‎03-19-2010

@goldensrbest I'm so sorry to hear that your mom will not be returning home. It's most likely the safest for her not to, so you are actually helping her and doing what is best for her. You will still have the wonderful memories, and I'm guessing will keep some smaller pieces that will keep some of those memories alive daily. So many of us have been through the same thing, and it is not easy. We all process differently and certain things trigger sadness verses happiness. Be happy that you still have your mom. She is lucky to have you both. That is the most important thing. You care about each other, are not fighting over silliness and you share a love that cannot be measured by any item or house.

Sending you a BIG HUG.... be strong.

spiderw · ‎06-14-2010

What you are feeling is normal. I am sure your mother understands and wants you to do whatever is best for everyone. Of course it is a sad time as so many possessions hold memories. But your mother is living at a nursing home and while she may keep a few precious items, selling her house and other items is for the best. Feeling a loss of what was is something most of us go through at these times. Letting go isn't easy but you do move on and in time realize it is for the best.

Having your brother handle things and doing a good job is a positive. Often families fight and argue over all of this and it creates bad feelings. Thankfully, you will not have that to stress over.

I wish your mother a comfortable life at the nursing home. May you find peace of mind in knowing you and your family are doing what is best and the memories of what was remain cherished and close at heart.

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

@goldensrbest I am so sorry, and feel strongly you are suffering. The loss is real. I grew to adulthood in the only house my parents ever owned, and even though I had married and moved away to work, just going back to that house for a few days as all of us gathered for a funeral and the remembrances and the decisions, without my mother's presence I felt like an intruder. In staure, my mother was a tiny woman; in character and personality she was big and quietly strong.

It's been nearly 40 years now since that weekend, and I still think of her. It's not painful in the same way the initial grief was, but I know that feeling.

SaveTheTurtles · ‎10-09-2023

@goldensrbest I am in the midst of doing the exact same thing with my dads house as we speak for the same reason. I am POA so am handling most of it but luckliy my brother, husband and SIL are very helpful and local. It is very hard to say the least.