Community Chat

[goldensrbest]

I don't know what any of us can do ,really not a thing,  i agree with  the fact she needs mental help, i am not blaming the son,cause we do not know what is really going on with their relationship.She does not get the help she needs ,it is her fault.

[RedTop]

Our friend thinks she is fine.   I can see son is very involved; he goes to the doctor with her and is aware his mother has been referred to a psychiatrist.  She is adamant that she’s not going.   There is a specific reason she does not want to speak with this specialist.   I do believe son is quite overwhelmed, and very unprepared for this level of neediness.   

My own mother is a very stubborn woman, but when she receives a clear explanation of why she needs to do something, she will usually agree to do it, or accept that we’re doing it anyway.   I don’t think the OP’s son knows to just take charge and make the decisions that need to be made in her best interest.   What I have seen thru earlier posts, is that in spite of frequent medical appts, our friend gets sidetracked on why she’s going to the doctor, and uses her visit to talk about a new ache, pain, rash, mole, and not the real issue.   

[Sooner]

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@sunshine45 wrote:

it is difficult to blame the son when we dont know the entire situation nor do we really know  the people involved. it is quite sad ,but as much as she insists she doesnt want help or doesnt want to have a helper/angel in the home, it seems that she really needs it. the other option would be to go into an assisted living facility where she will have constant care and activity around her. i do believe her living alone is a HUGE issue at this point.

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@sunshine45  Having been in the son's position, you have no authority to make someone do something unless you have legal authority over them, which is difficult or impossible to get.  If someone is otherwise in control of themselves, as it would appear talking to them, reading what they write, or otherwise interacting with them and they behave in a rational manner, you CANNOT make them do anything.

To "push them harder" is to alienate them entirely then where are you?  

We are seeing one side only of the story on these boards sometimes.  Sometimes I wonder if anything we say is making the situation worse.  Sometimes we only encourage what is really the root of the problem.

I don't know.  It breaks my heart to hear anyone in this situation.  For all involved. 

[patofl]

I don't think her son can help her either because he probably does not understand that she is having hallucinations. I'm sure he's extremely frustrated with her waking him up every night calling him about these noises. That's why her doctor needs to be doing more to get her the help she needs.He should recognize what is going on here.

[Sooner]

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@patofl wrote:

I don't think her son can help her either because he probably does not understand that she is having hallucinations. I'm sure he's extremely frustrated with her waking him up every night calling him about these noises. That's why her doctor needs to be doing more to get her the help she needs.He should recognize what is going on here.

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@patofl  I'll bet you the son does know and understand the noises aren't real, and the doctor can't take action either.  Can you imagine what he's dealing with?  There's really nothing he or the doctor can do if there is no abuse or endangerment involved.  And doctors don't have time to do family counseling either and without investigating can't asses the real situation at the home.  

There isn't really anything anyone but the person having the issues can do until it reaches a critical tipping point where the person decides to get help or it rolls over into something else.

Therein lies the problem.  

[Isobel Archer]

Maybe noise canceling headphones would be a good Christmas gift.

[Sooner]

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

Maybe noise canceling headphones would be a good Christmas gift.

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@Isobel Archer  They don't work for that. . . wish they did! 

[WaJa61]

@Isobel Archer, under ordinary circumstances, I would agree, but in halfpint's case, it's obvious that there is no outside noise to cancel out. 

Auditory hallucinations are one symptom of an emotional or mental disorder that will increase, or possibly expand to visual hallucinations if left untreated. I have seen it in a few who I volunteer to assist, when they go off of their anti-hallucination meds. 

❤@halfpint1, there are meds that are great at alleviating these symptoms, but only a psychiatrist can prescribe them. I know you're afraid to see one, but Bob or a trusted friend can go with you and help to explain. It will in no way be as scary as what you've been living with now for over two years ~ including sleep deprivation.

This is not a rare thing and they will know exactly how to help you be at peace from this dreadful noise. It's no different than seeking treatment for any physical disorder. Your brain is a physical part of your body, and the chemistry flowing through it needs adjusting. Some grief therapy might help you, too, once this noise is hushed. 

[patofl]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@patofl wrote:

I don't think her son can help her either because he probably does not understand that she is having hallucinations. I'm sure he's extremely frustrated with her waking him up every night calling him about these noises. That's why her doctor needs to be doing more to get her the help she needs.He should recognize what is going on here.

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@patofl  I'll bet you the son does know and understand the noises aren't real, and the doctor can't take action either.  Can you imagine what he's dealing with?  There's really nothing he or the doctor can do if there is no abuse or endangerment involved.  And doctors don't have time to do family counseling either and without investigating can't asses the real situation at the home.  

There isn't really anything anyone but the person having the issues can do until it reaches a critical tipping point where the person decides to get help or it rolls over into something else.

Therein lies the problem.  

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He can send her to a mental health professional for evaluation.

[Sandyx3]

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@WaJa61 wrote:

@Isobel Archer, under ordinary circumstances, I would agree, but in halfpint's case, it's obvious that there is no outside noise to cancel out. 

Auditory hallucinations are one symptom of an emotional or mental disorder that will increase, or possibly expand to visual hallucinations if left untreated. I have seen it in a few who I volunteer to assist, when they go off of their anti-hallucination meds. 

❤@halfpint1, there are meds that are great at alleviating these symptoms, but only a psychiatrist can prescribe them. I know you're afraid to see one, but Bob or a trusted friend can go with you and help to explain. It will in no way be as scary as what you've been living with now for over two years ~ including sleep deprivation.

This is not a rare thing and they will know exactly how to help you be at peace from this dreadful noise. It's no different than seeking treatment for any physical disorder. Your brain is a physical part of your body, and the chemistry flowing through it needs adjusting. Some grief therapy might help you, too, once this noise is hushed. 

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@WaJa61  Well said!

Halfpint1...You are very lucky to have your son Bob to accompany you on your appointment(s), so please follow your primary doctor's recommendation and make an appointment with a psychiatrist, they specialize in this area of our body...as stated by WaJa61 above.

I also had to care for a member of my family whom I was able to accompany to psychiatrist appointments; relief for her was achieved!

Primary doctors can only do so much; once they refer you to a specialist

(as in this case, a psychiatrist), the primary doctor is telling you that he/she would do the same thing if it were him/her or his/her family member asking for assistance in treating/relieving a health concern outside of the primary doctor's realm of expertise...that is go to the specialist.  @halfpint1