Community Chat

[Sunnyfield]

Oh and I just noticed you said "we" don't want to live in AZ anymore...I didn't realize that you are also not happy there...

[Lindsays Grandma]

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Lindsays Grandma wrote:    Coupon Queen if you were here I would give you the biggest hug you ever had.  Your understanding and kindness brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you so much for being you.

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@truffle wrote:

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@CouponQueen wrote:

For the life of me..I don't get the RUDE responses to people. Yes, it is a free country and we can say what we wish within guidelines but seriously it sounds  like some have cheerios that have been perpetually soiled in every morning.

I totally understand where the OP is coming from. If you don't have grandchildren or children that you live with and are extremely close to..then you would not understand.

People do not read and comprehend..she is very distraught this is her support system and her FAMILY an  vice versa...I would be very upset too.

They live together for financial reasons and also she cared for her granddaughter. This isn't like she just came back from a wonderful vacation and wants to relocate. She is doing this on the whim..and sounds like a not very well thought out plan either.

Those of you who said what is the big deal that is what grandparents do? Oh really?? They raise their grandchildren, take them to/from school...home work etc.  Not your average grandparent..

Plaid Pants - why are you so darn nasty? I find your responses on every thread to be rude and inconsiderate....but when you are on here with your problems and issues it is a different story..you don't like the rude responses..I can think of a couple different issues you have posted about..and boo hooed about people not being nice. Stomping your feet cause daddy didn't respond to your birthday as you wanted/expected..but you have to be rude to just about everybody..

Sometimes if you have nothing NICE to say..why bother say it at all? Keep it to yourself. 

There are a couple that stand out here all the time that just don't have it in them to be NICE to others but when their great dilemma is posted ..different story...they don't want negative responses..

Filters and Socials skills should be mandatory online education before having access to the internet.

Do people really enjoy kicking people when they are down? Somebody comes here with a burden they share and they get kicked..

The OP was heartfelt and sincere..I don't think she was asking to be beat up for having great apprehension on this move..that she isn't happy with..that her daughter has not planned out very well..including uprooting her daughter who is a teenage on a whim...major moves cost a lot of time and money...and you should also have done a heck of a lot research to make sure you have everything covered, thought out etc.  Teenagers already face many issues/hurdles in life..so lets on a whim, because you want to..move them to another state, climate etc without a thought how it may affect them..and more so if their grandmother who sounds to be the most stable influence in her life...was looking into assisted living ...

I personally know somebody who had her grandmother live with them and raise them from infant to 12 years old..falling out happened when grandma could not longer physically be babysitter, maid and chief bottle washer as they say..and out the door she went..well that poor girl is having severe mental and emotional issues..is in therapy and the therapist said you took away without warning and unfairly in her mind, the most person she loved most and raised her..while mommy was being a professional student and daddy was working four jobs to support them so mommy could be... So there is just more than the OP to be concerned about making such a move without a reason/plan in place...just uproot children because the parent wants to..very selfish in my book..family decision when the parents get a job offer they can't turn down, or military life etc..but single mom who hasn't been able to swing it financially on her own...just doesn't do that.

The OP  cannot just abandon them and send them off on this venture alone knowning it is her daugher and grandaughter who rely on her also for a support network and financial support as well.

I wish I had the answers Lindsey...I feel your pain. Maybe suggest she visit the area... has she chose a particular area that she wants to move to? Maybe visit that for a couple weeks to get the feel of the area - etc..with an open mind..  I am sending you cyber hugs and support..

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I agree and your post deserves a medal coupon queen! 

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[ROMARY]

I haven't read all of the posts, but ran across the one where you stated that your sister doesn't think that you and your daughter should move there.  Then, reading re: she has a large million dollar house, etc., etc.  Well..........I'm thinking that she won't be the one to count on regarding having guests, etc. at her house, while you are looking for a place to live and while your DD is looking for a job over there in Florida.  I could be wrong, but that's what popped into my mind.   Sort of 'putting two and two together' (or whatever that phrase is).  Well, wishing you luck.  Personally, I'd wish my daughter well, let her find her way to Florida (money, etc.).  Let her experiment for a few months.  I'd 'wait and see' what develops.  But, I wouldn't get up and move right now.  jmo, and said in a nice way.

[Plaid Pants2]

Why can't you and your daughter stay with your sister in Boca, while the two of you explore the area/state?

That would save some $ right there.

You said that your daughter has a job waiting for her, yet that job doesn't pay enough to cover expenses?

What's the job?

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@hecate wrote:

I live in the Panhandle of Florida.  Here it is quite humid and I run my ac 10 months out of the year.  I lived in St. Petersburg (middle Florida on the coast) for a year and have traveled all over Florida in the 32 years I've lived here.  I am from Indiana which is quite different.

Winter Park is close to Orlando and is very humid.  That is quite different form Arizona.  At 85 it feels really warm and I'd have my ac on all of the time. I call the bugs here "nuclear bugs" because they are much bigger and more prolific than they are up north.  That is still something that grosses me out.  There are Palmetto bugs, (creepy), lizards, mosquitos, allegators, etc., all over Florida. I spray my house so I rarely see Palmetto bugs or roaches, but the Palmetto bugs are very big here, so when you do see one...brace yourself.  There are even scorpions here, but I've never seen one.  When I was in Phoenix, I saw them everywhere.  Yikes!  To combat mosquitoes, I wear Wen Tea Tree oil. It works very well for me. And where live the city will spray for them for free.

Florida is expensive.  It just is.  People want to live here.  There is no income tax so each area has their own add on tax for goods and services.  Housing is expensive and so are property taxes.  Now that I've lived here so long, I've acclimated, but there was a bit of sticker shock when I first got here.

The things I love...the ocean and the seafood and the weather when it's cooler. In West Palm Beach there is always an ocean breeze and it is wonderful to go to an outside restaurant on or close to the ocean and eat.  There are quite a few state parks here.  Disney World is here.  In Miiami, the latino food is scrumptious, but the traffic is horrible. St. Augustine is a wonderful place to visit. It's the oldest city in the US (so they say). In St. Petersburg, it gets hot and humid, then around 2 in the afternoon it rains heavily for about an hour.  Then things cool down a bit. I found that interesting when I first moved here. 

Florida is a diverse state.  So North Florida is different from middle Florida, which is different from south Florida.  South Florida has great beaches.  The Everglades which cover southern Florida are immense and are truly a sea of grass.  Each area has its pros and cons.It will be an adjustment going from Arizona to Florida.  Reading about where you're planning to move is important. And if you can visit before making a commitment, that would be the best.

I hope this helps.

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hecate, I agree that she should visit the area first but that is time consuming, she doesn't have vacation coming to her or the money because she will need the money to help move.  I visited my parents and my sister and brother- in- law in FL where they retried to from NY but only in the winter.  You gave me a lot of info to absorb, thanks for that I appreciate it.  Both of us do not want to remain in AZ, that was another choice of hers I went along with.  We would love to go back to CA but housing costs whether buying or renting is prohibitive.  She is controlling and doesn't take advice too readily that is why she makes poor choices, been doing it all her life.

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@colliegirls wrote:

Your youngest is in her 50s!!  Sadly, the chances of meeting a man is greatly reduced when living with one's mother. Perhaps your daughter is analysing her life and wants something different. Let her go, she may or may not be happy with her decision.  

Your granddaughter must have a job by now? Is she still with you also?

Florida is a great place to live (lived there for 10 years), it may be a fresh start for her or the both of you.

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Her granddaughter is 13 years old and would need to change schools.

Lindsay's Grandma has mobility issues from what I remember. I think she broke her hip? She would need all new doctors in Florida and changing doctors is not particularly easy.

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A female can't find a boyfriend if she lives with her mother? Never heard that one before.

I don't know who wrote about  me breaking my hip but yes I did last year.  Still have pain, plus chronic sciatic pain all in the right leg.  Some things are harder to do than before but I am mobile but not driving yet.  The thought of finding new doctors is not a good one particularly since I love my Primary Care Doctor here.

[maggiemuggs]

If she can't afford to do this alone then it seems you Do have a choice.

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@ROMARY wrote:

I haven't read all of the posts, but ran across the one where you stated that your sister doesn't think that you and your daughter should move there.  Then, reading re: she has a large million dollar house, etc., etc.  Well..........I'm thinking that she won't be the one to count on regarding having guests, etc. at her house, while you are looking for a place to live and while your DD is looking for a job over there in Florida.  I could be wrong, but that's what popped into my mind.   Sort of 'putting two and two together' (or whatever that phrase is).  Well, wishing you luck.  Personally, I'd wish my daughter well, let her find her way to Florida (money, etc.).  Let her experiment for a few months.  I'd 'wait and see' what develops.  But, I wouldn't get up and move right now.  jmo, and said in a nice way.

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Yep, a big million dollar house paid for.   She has a lot of money, travels.  One daughter right now living in CA is looking for a job, her company shut down, needs to find a less expensive place to live, my sister sends her a thousand dollars a month but has not offered her a room in the house until she can figure out what to do.  She likes her freedom I guess but family is family and if I were in her shoes I sure as heck under these circumstances would tell my sister to let her daughter live in Alaska and come live in my house.  But we don't think alike.

[momtochloe]

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@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

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@ROMARY wrote:

I haven't read all of the posts, but ran across the one where you stated that your sister doesn't think that you and your daughter should move there.  Then, reading re: she has a large million dollar house, etc., etc.  Well..........I'm thinking that she won't be the one to count on regarding having guests, etc. at her house, while you are looking for a place to live and while your DD is looking for a job over there in Florida.  I could be wrong, but that's what popped into my mind.   Sort of 'putting two and two together' (or whatever that phrase is).  Well, wishing you luck.  Personally, I'd wish my daughter well, let her find her way to Florida (money, etc.).  Let her experiment for a few months.  I'd 'wait and see' what develops.  But, I wouldn't get up and move right now.  jmo, and said in a nice way.

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Yep, a big million dollar house paid for.   She has a lot of money, travels.  One daughter right now living in CA is looking for a job, her company shut down, needs to find a less expensive place to live, my sister sends her a thousand dollars a month but has not offered her a room in the house until she can figure out what to do.  She likes her freedom I guess but family is family and if I were in her shoes I sure as heck under these circumstances would tell my sister to let her daughter live in Alaska and come live in my house.  But we don't think alike.

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Sigh . . . family . . . it's tough when they aren't wired with a sensitivity chip . . . hugs to you @Lindsays Grandma . . . 

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

Why can't you and your daughter stay with your sister in Boca, while the two of you explore the area/state?

That would save some $ right there.

You said that your daughter has a job waiting for her, yet that job doesn't pay enough to cover expenses?

What's the job?

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Can't stay with my sister because she hasn't offered and I'd rather leave it that way than ask only to have her say no, it doesn't hurt that much that way.  If she wanted us to do that she would have offered.   I was earning $65,000 a year when I retired from Warner Bros, Studios in CA in 2000 after ten years.  I started with $25,000 but got raises and worked up to management.  My daughter is a manager in a Village Inn Restaurant and a franchise owner in Winter Park told her he would love to have her work for him because he heard about her and knows she is good at her job and will help her climb the ladder.