Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@Puppy Lips wrote:

I don't have time to read all the replies.  But I will tell you that Winter Park is lovely.  You won't be bitten by bugs everyday.  There are certain times of day that the mosqitoes are worse outside, but that is not all year.  I rarely get bitten.  I have been in Florida for 9 years now and have grown accustomed to the weather.  It is never so hot and humid that I don't want to go outside.

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Thanks for your input.  I get a different opinion from my sister who lives in Boca Grande and has been living there for over thirty years.  As I said in one of my posts she has a summer home in Maine and has not spent one summer in Florida since she has been living there because of the heat and humidity.  A more sensible way to do this is to visit the area before you pack up and move but when she gets it in her head to do something that's it, no stopping her.

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@sophiamarie wrote:

I was born, raised and schooled in a borough of NY and am living in SE Florida for over 40 years.  My five sons all went to school here in Florida.  We are all totally bilingual and a multi-cultural family.

I just love to read posts from people who never lived here or have friends who do, but know all about the "bugs, snakes, lizards, etc."  In all my over 40 years, I don't think I have seen 10 Palmetto bugs, all of them dead.  I have NEVER seen a "flying" Palmetto bug.  NEVER.  Garden snakes???  Sure.  I have never seen one but I know they are somewhere outside, but they are totally harmless.  I think they are black.

Fleas and ticks???  Not a single one.  These are modern times and we now have stuff that we put on our pets, that repel or control these things.

If there were all these bugs, snakes, alligators, fleas, ticks, etc., then why would anyone live here???  Why would anyone have friends who live here??  As for the bug bites??  Nobody sits outside on a hot, humid night anywhere unless they want to get bitten.  Long pants are the worst thing to wear sitting outdoors because they trap the mosquitoes.  We have screened- in lanais for people who want to sit outside.  Most Floridians don't hang around outside at night anyway.

Keep your house clean, spray around the outside a few times a year and there will be no infestation EVER.  For those who have bugs, I would guess they don't live in clean houses.  

True - the A/C has to be on 24/7 and our electric bill is well over $400+ a month but this isn't the norm.  We have 4 TV's on all day, 3 computers, and lights on in every room.  I admit I'm very careless about these things but this is what I'm used to.  Not everyone has electric bills this high.

People move down here in droves.  It's not like it was 30+ years ago, true.  But, we go with the flow.

So - for those people who hesitate moving down here - c'mon down.  You won't be sorry.  BTW, when I lived in NY, I remember seeing "water bugs" in a laundry room of an apartment building.  Does anyone know what they look like??  They are ugly and are around dirt.  Palmetto bugs are indiginous (sp) to Florida and they have nothing to do with dirt.  To add, I have also NEVER seen one walk outside on the sidewalk, although I hear people say they have.   If you have a dirty house, you will have bugs, no matter where you live.  We don't eat or leave food in rooms other than the kitchen.  No food - no bugs.  Palmetto bugs come in from outside if you leave doors open.  They quickly die from the spray that was used months before.  See?  There's something for everything.

To the OP:  I'm really sorry for what you are going through.  I don't envy you.  To move to Florida just for the sake of moving, is crazy.  Tell your daughter it's not cheap.  I wish you luck in whatever you do.

Thanks for a a lovely post.  One of the numerous reasons both of us want to leave AZ is the high electric bills due to A/C 24/7 for most of the year.  I told her she is going to have the same problem that she wants to get away from but once she makes her mind up there is no getting through to her.   

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[Imadickens]

First, let me give you my condolences! I know how heartbroken you are! You left out a few key things that might help. Are you and dd financially dependent on each other? If she leaves,can you exist comfortably on your own? Do you think she may have an Internet romance that is beckoning her? The house in Maine, does it belong to you and/or your daughter? Without knowing more about those q's, I'll give you the best I've got.

If you can live comfortably without her income, say toodle-oo! If she needs your income to move but you don't need her's don't let her blackmail you into moving! If she is going to meet someone she met online, let her go alone. Chances are it won't last. Usually long distance Internet romance turns out to be liars, cheats, or worse! Give her somewhere to run home to. I'm sorry your sister wasn't more of a help to you. She should be able to give more than empty advice! If you are able, suggest your dd visit where she hopes to live for several weeks. If she still wants to move there, sit with her and make a pro/con list. If she still must go and you are financially tied to her, only you know her. If she doesn't go, will your life be hell living with her? Would it be better to go with her and see first hand how it is, not burning any bridges where you are now? Ultimately only you really know what will end up being best for you.

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@truffle wrote:

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@CouponQueen wrote:

For the life of me..I don't get the RUDE responses to people. Yes, it is a free country and we can say what we wish within guidelines but seriously it sounds  like some have cheerios that have been perpetually soiled in every morning.

I totally understand where the OP is coming from. If you don't have grandchildren or children that you live with and are extremely close to..then you would not understand.

People do not read and comprehend..she is very distraught this is her support system and her FAMILY an  vice versa...I would be very upset too.

They live together for financial reasons and also she cared for her granddaughter. This isn't like she just came back from a wonderful vacation and wants to relocate. She is doing this on the whim..and sounds like a not very well thought out plan either.

Those of you who said what is the big deal that is what grandparents do? Oh really?? They raise their grandchildren, take them to/from school...home work etc.  Not your average grandparent..

Plaid Pants - why are you so darn nasty? I find your responses on every thread to be rude and inconsiderate....but when you are on here with your problems and issues it is a different story..you don't like the rude responses..I can think of a couple different issues you have posted about..and boo hooed about people not being nice. Stomping your feet cause daddy didn't respond to your birthday as you wanted/expected..but you have to be rude to just about everybody..

Sometimes if you have nothing NICE to say..why bother say it at all? Keep it to yourself. 

There are a couple that stand out here all the time that just don't have it in them to be NICE to others but when their great dilemma is posted ..different story...they don't want negative responses..

Filters and Socials skills should be mandatory online education before having access to the internet.

Do people really enjoy kicking people when they are down? Somebody comes here with a burden they share and they get kicked..

The OP was heartfelt and sincere..I don't think she was asking to be beat up for having great apprehension on this move..that she isn't happy with..that her daughter has not planned out very well..including uprooting her daughter who is a teenage on a whim...major moves cost a lot of time and money...and you should also have done a heck of a lot research to make sure you have everything covered, thought out etc.  Teenagers already face many issues/hurdles in life..so lets on a whim, because you want to..move them to another state, climate etc without a thought how it may affect them..and more so if their grandmother who sounds to be the most stable influence in her life...was looking into assisted living ...

I personally know somebody who had her grandmother live with them and raise them from infant to 12 years old..falling out happened when grandma could not longer physically be babysitter, maid and chief bottle washer as they say..and out the door she went..well that poor girl is having severe mental and emotional issues..is in therapy and the therapist said you took away without warning and unfairly in her mind, the most person she loved most and raised her..while mommy was being a professional student and daddy was working four jobs to support them so mommy could be... So there is just more than the OP to be concerned about making such a move without a reason/plan in place...just uproot children because the parent wants to..very selfish in my book..family decision when the parents get a job offer they can't turn down, or military life etc..but single mom who hasn't been able to swing it financially on her own...just doesn't do that.

The OP  cannot just abandon them and send them off on this venture alone knowning it is her daugher and grandaughter who rely on her also for a support network and financial support as well.

I wish I had the answers Lindsey...I feel your pain. Maybe suggest she visit the area... has she chose a particular area that she wants to move to? Maybe visit that for a couple weeks to get the feel of the area - etc..with an open mind..  I am sending you cyber hugs and support..

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I agree and your post deserves a medal coupon queen! 

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truffle, If you were here I would give you the biggest hug you have ever had.  Your kindness and understanding brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you so much for being you.

[Burnsite]

Lindsay'sg, I live in Florida and will be moving when I retire in a few years, to be closer to family. 

There are many things I will miss about where I live (in the orbit of Miami and Ft Lauderdale), because I enjoy a multicultural community.  I love the rainbows in FL.  I think the landscape was beautful before so many developers ruined it.  If you are a birder, the birds are amazing.  FL has no state income tax, but its sales tax varies from town to town and is very high where I live.  INSURANCE IS THROUGH THE ROOF (sorry to shout, but it's important!) due to numerous catastrophic wind-storm events, and also a high crime rate and high accident rate.

I don't do much about the bugs.  I would rather have bugs around than poison, especially with two slightly insane felines in the house eating everything they find that looks like "prey.'

The negatives for me are the lack of services, the lack of high quality schools (so that people don't seem as ready-witted as in other places).

Though I have never been to WinterPark, a central FL town, I know it is considered to be very "southern" and very pretty.

Why not take a weekend or a week down there and inspect Central Florida?  You might like it.  I don't like the climate at all, but I am a New Englander.  Central FL does become somewhat cool in the winter.

If you are on a long time-line, wait til August for your trip and see how hot and swampy FL can be.  It's not for everyone, but . . . at least where I live, the electrical rates are quite low.

No place is all bad or all good, of course.  I want to leave b/c I miss my home place and my friends and family up in the Mass. area.  I don't esp. love winter, but to me FL's summer is just as bad, if not worse. 

The quality of medical care is often very low, as I've found living here since the later 1980s.  But there are good doctors and hospitals.  Definitely choose a noon-profit in FL, they tend always to be better but there is a big difference here.

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@Imadickens wrote:

First, let me give you my condolences! I know how heartbroken you are! You left out a few key things that might help. Are you and dd financially dependent on each other? If she leaves,can you exist comfortably on your own? Do you think she may have an Internet romance that is beckoning her? The house in Maine, does it belong to you and/or your daughter? Without knowing more about those q's, I'll give you the best I've got.

If you can live comfortably without her income, say toodle-oo! If she needs your income to move but you don't need her's don't let her blackmail you into moving! If she is going to meet someone she met online, let her go alone. Chances are it won't last. Usually long distance Internet romance turns out to be liars, cheats, or worse! Give her somewhere to run home to. I'm sorry your sister wasn't more of a help to you. She should be able to give more than empty advice! If you are able, suggest your dd visit where she hopes to live for several weeks. If she still wants to move there, sit with her and make a pro/con list. If she still must go and you are financially tied to her, only you know her. If she doesn't go, will your life be hell living with her? Would it be better to go with her and see first hand how it is, not burning any bridges where you are now? Ultimately only you really know what will end up being best for you.

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jewelwisher, There is no man she is running to meet.  Yes, she should visit the area before moving but it is 2 to 3 thousand miles from AZ and she doesn't have the money to fly back and forth and stay in a motel while checking it out.  We are financially tied to one another plus I am the one who cares for Lindsay while her mother is at work.  We don't want to live in AZ any longer which by the way was her idea but at least we checked it out first but CA is not that far from AZ.  I agree that my sister certainly could have given more than just saying don't do it. She is my only sibling and I was hoping she and I could spend our remaining years together.  She has a million dollar house fully paid for with plenty of rooms in Boca Grande which was left to her when her second husband passed away plus two summer homes in Maine.  But that is another story.

[software]

Why FL with no visit?   That's crazy for anyone, I can't imagine  picking up & deciding to live somewhere I've never visited.

You haven't given us enough information to help.   All you talk about is you-- bug bites, humidity--things you don't like.

Quit assisting her & running her life.    She seems to be ready to stand on her own 2 feet, you should be doing backflips.

She's an adult, let her go.

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@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

I was born and raised in Queens and Long Island in New York.  I moved to Los Angeles, CA in 1965 with my second husband, our 2 month old baby girl and my two children from a former marriage.  We lived in CA for 40 years and my youngest daughter,  granddaughter, and I have been living in AZ for the past ten years.

Suddenly out of the blue my youngest who was raised in CA and is a California Girl wants us to move to Winter Park, Florida.  My parents moved to Florida from New York when Dad retired and my sister and brother-in-law also moved there from New York when he retired.  I visited several times in the winter only.

My sister never spent a summer in Florida, they had a house on the lake in Maine and to this day she still goes there every summer.

Two doctors, a very dear friend of mine who grew up in Florida and my sister have told her all the reasons why she should not make the move.  I in no way have a  desire to go there and have talked until I am blue in the face but nothing from anyone is getting through to her.

I know there are some of you living in Florida and maybe you like it there and I mean no disrespect but can someone please try to explain what she is facing.  The second time I visited my sister in Davie she, her husband and some neighbors along with me sat outside listening to music and talking and in the middle of the night my legs were itching so badly I couldn't stand it.  Both of my legs were covered in bites, I was wearing slacks and never felt a thing bite me and I suffered for days.  Went to a pharmacy and was told to take Benadryl.  Thank goodness for long pants because I had to get on a plane to go back to CA and my legs looked horrible.  How about the humidity? Even that doesn't get through to her.  We live in AZ, hot and dry. A/C on 24/7 from April through November, same as FL.  Talk about electric bills!!!  She won't have to look for a job, there is one available but we would have to stay in a hotel until we can find a place to live.  I just can't buy into it, not for me.  Can't go back to CA, housing is way too expensive.

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this so long but once I got started I couldn't stop.  Any advice will be appreciated.   Some way, some how I have to stop her from doing this.  At my age and chronic pain the last place my body wants to be is in Florida.  No friend to stay with, my three dearest and closest friends passed away from breast cancer.  My sister, a widow lives a busy life, lots of money living in Boca Grande and her advice is not to make the move, she offers nothing else.  Can anyone come up with something I can say to my daughter to discourage her? Anyone? Please?  Excuse me if there are any words misspelled, I did spellcheck but it isn't the best.

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[hecate]

I live in the Panhandle of Florida.  Here it is quite humid and I run my ac 10 months out of the year.  I lived in St. Petersburg (middle Florida on the coast) for a year and have traveled all over Florida in the 32 years I've lived here.  I am from Indiana which is quite different.

Winter Park is close to Orlando and is very humid.  That is quite different form Arizona.  At 85 it feels really warm and I'd have my ac on all of the time. I call the bugs here "nuclear bugs" because they are much bigger and more prolific than they are up north.  That is still something that grosses me out.  There are Palmetto bugs, (creepy), lizards, mosquitos, allegators, etc., all over Florida. I spray my house so I rarely see Palmetto bugs or roaches, but the Palmetto bugs are very big here, so when you do see one...brace yourself.  There are even scorpions here, but I've never seen one.  When I was in Phoenix, I saw them everywhere.  Yikes!  To combat mosquitoes, I wear Wen Tea Tree oil. It works very well for me. And where live the city will spray for them for free.

Florida is expensive.  It just is.  People want to live here.  There is no income tax so each area has their own add on tax for goods and services.  Housing is expensive and so are property taxes.  Now that I've lived here so long, I've acclimated, but there was a bit of sticker shock when I first got here.

The things I love...the ocean and the seafood and the weather when it's cooler. In West Palm Beach there is always an ocean breeze and it is wonderful to go to an outside restaurant on or close to the ocean and eat.  There are quite a few state parks here.  Disney World is here.  In Miiami, the latino food is scrumptious, but the traffic is horrible. St. Augustine is a wonderful place to visit. It's the oldest city in the US (so they say). In St. Petersburg, it gets hot and humid, then around 2 in the afternoon it rains heavily for about an hour.  Then things cool down a bit. I found that interesting when I first moved here. 

Florida is a diverse state.  So North Florida is different from middle Florida, which is different from south Florida.  South Florida has great beaches.  The Everglades which cover southern Florida are immense and are truly a sea of grass.  Each area has its pros and cons.It will be an adjustment going from Arizona to Florida.  Reading about where you're planning to move is important. And if you can visit before making a commitment, that would be the best.

I hope this helps.

[MacDUFF]

@Lindsays Grandma

I'm sorry for your troubles.  

Personally, I think this is all about one person.  Lindsay.  It must be very painful to think of losing her constant presence in your life if you refuse to be bullied into another move you don't want to make...altho I think she might be legally old enough to decide with whom she wants to live.

[Sunnyfield]

There is alot I don't understand here...

For example...if the daughter does not have enough $$$ to fly back and forth and stay in a hotel for a few days, how in the heck is there $$$ to move across the country???  Even if you U-Haul, it's expensive...then staying in a hotel when you get there...

And she supposedly has a job waiting for her?  Does she have an employment agreement/offer letter?  Anything concrete?  What on earth does she do that she doesn't make enough $$$ to support herself?

Frankly I don't understand how one gets to be over 50 (assuming she's able bodied) and can't support herself???

And where does Lindsey fit in to the equation?

I feel for you @Lindsey's grandma,...but I don't understand...

Just alot of info missing...