Community Chat

[Lucky Charm]

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@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

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@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma if you are living together to share expenses & she cannot make it on her own, just how does she plan to move to Florida?

Does she just expect you to go, too, without your agreement?

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You hit the nail right on the head. She made it verbally clear by telling me I can stay here and rot because she is going to FL.

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Whoah!!  This is as far as I got in this thread.

For a daughter to say that to her mom who helped her raise her daughter--is such a shame.  Those words would sting me so bad.  She sounds like a real peach.

I feel bad for Lindsay, who for much of the time, seems to have been tended to by you.  What does Lindsay have to say about this?  I'm guessing she's about 13/14 years old?  Does she have a good relationship with her mother?  Would she miss you terribly?  Does she want to up and leave her life in AZ?

[GenXmuse]

If your daughter said you can stay in Arizona she must have a plan for supporting herself there. Your expenses might be less without them since it's just you so fewer utilities, food, gas, etc.  Maybe ask her about her plans and budgeting. She may not have been gotten that far. But if she is the one with the job you may just have to move if it's not financially feasible to stay on your own. 

It will be good for her to learn independence since none of us lives forever. 

This kind of sounds like it's more to do with you than what might be best for her.  Maybe not but some time apart might be good and who knows, you might find that it's for the best. I think the idea about moving to California is great. Do you still have roots there?Change can really suck but give her a chance to be a grown up. 

[truffle]

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@CouponQueen wrote:

For the life of me..I don't get the RUDE responses to people. Yes, it is a free country and we can say what we wish within guidelines but seriously it sounds  like some have cheerios that have been perpetually soiled in every morning.

I totally understand where the OP is coming from. If you don't have grandchildren or children that you live with and are extremely close to..then you would not understand.

People do not read and comprehend..she is very distraught this is her support system and her FAMILY an  vice versa...I would be very upset too.

They live together for financial reasons and also she cared for her granddaughter. This isn't like she just came back from a wonderful vacation and wants to relocate. She is doing this on the whim..and sounds like a not very well thought out plan either.

Those of you who said what is the big deal that is what grandparents do? Oh really?? They raise their grandchildren, take them to/from school...home work etc.  Not your average grandparent..

Plaid Pants - why are you so darn nasty? I find your responses on every thread to be rude and inconsiderate....but when you are on here with your problems and issues it is a different story..you don't like the rude responses..I can think of a couple different issues you have posted about..and boo hooed about people not being nice. Stomping your feet cause daddy didn't respond to your birthday as you wanted/expected..but you have to be rude to just about everybody..

Sometimes if you have nothing NICE to say..why bother say it at all? Keep it to yourself. 

There are a couple that stand out here all the time that just don't have it in them to be NICE to others but when their great dilemma is posted ..different story...they don't want negative responses..

Filters and Socials skills should be mandatory online education before having access to the internet.

Do people really enjoy kicking people when they are down? Somebody comes here with a burden they share and they get kicked..

The OP was heartfelt and sincere..I don't think she was asking to be beat up for having great apprehension on this move..that she isn't happy with..that her daughter has not planned out very well..including uprooting her daughter who is a teenage on a whim...major moves cost a lot of time and money...and you should also have done a heck of a lot research to make sure you have everything covered, thought out etc.  Teenagers already face many issues/hurdles in life..so lets on a whim, because you want to..move them to another state, climate etc without a thought how it may affect them..and more so if their grandmother who sounds to be the most stable influence in her life...was looking into assisted living ...

I personally know somebody who had her grandmother live with them and raise them from infant to 12 years old..falling out happened when grandma could not longer physically be babysitter, maid and chief bottle washer as they say..and out the door she went..well that poor girl is having severe mental and emotional issues..is in therapy and the therapist said you took away without warning and unfairly in her mind, the most person she loved most and raised her..while mommy was being a professional student and daddy was working four jobs to support them so mommy could be... So there is just more than the OP to be concerned about making such a move without a reason/plan in place...just uproot children because the parent wants to..very selfish in my book..family decision when the parents get a job offer they can't turn down, or military life etc..but single mom who hasn't been able to swing it financially on her own...just doesn't do that.

The OP  cannot just abandon them and send them off on this venture alone knowning it is her daugher and grandaughter who rely on her also for a support network and financial support as well.

I wish I had the answers Lindsey...I feel your pain. Maybe suggest she visit the area... has she chose a particular area that she wants to move to? Maybe visit that for a couple weeks to get the feel of the area - etc..with an open mind..  I am sending you cyber hugs and support..

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I agree and your post deserves a medal coupon queen! 

[Reba055]

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@Kachina624 wrote:

@Reba055  With all due respect, you do not adjust or get used to or even learn to accept the heat and humidity.  It's relentless and on-going, you don't realize how bad it is until you leave and no longer have to fight it.  If you live in any communal sort of accommodation like a condo or apartment, the fight to get rid of bugs is also constant and on-going and never fully accomplished.  It's almost impossible to own a pet because fleas are so problematic.  I haven't seen a single flea or cockroach since I left Houston.  Hallelujah!  Would never, ever live in such a place again.  Cruised the Western Caribbean and could hardly wait to leave the hot sticky places and get home.

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@Kachina624 I guess we will agree to disagree. I understand what you are saying about the humidity. Yes, it's very hot and humid at times, but all of my neighbors that have moved in from up north complain about it for about two years. They are mad that it's not freezing cold for Christmas, etc. The next thing you know, they are like the rest of us and think it's freezing when it gets down to 50 degrees lol. Most say they would never go back to shoveling snow and the bitter cold. 

I suppose it it depends on where you live but we have always had a dog (and I have lived in an apartment briefly) and never had fleas, or bugs. Pest control is part of your rent and they treat all units as well as the grounds. We have always used a monthly topical flea preventative. 

Of course it's not for everyone. I just wanted to let the OP know that it might not be as horrible as she thinks. As I've gotten older and have some health issues, I don't do things outside in the dead heat of the summer, but it's not a big deal to me. There are other months that are wonderful for being outside in FL. 

[Puppy Lips]

I don't have time to read all the replies.  But I will tell you that Winter Park is lovely.  You won't be bitten by bugs everyday.  There are certain times of day that the mosqitoes are worse outside, but that is not all year.  I rarely get bitten.  I have been in Florida for 9 years now and have grown accustomed to the weather.  It is never so hot and humid that I don't want to go outside.

[Zhills]

The real problem is with the family interactions, NOT moving to Florida.

Almost 1,000 people a week move to Florida and many save all their working lives for the privilege!

The COL is lower and the economics could change.  Unfortunately the family situation would not change. 

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@Irshgrl31201 wrote:

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@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

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@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma if you are living together to share expenses & she cannot make it on her own, just how does she plan to move to Florida?

Does she just expect you to go, too, without your agreement?

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You hit the nail right on the head. She made it verbally clear by telling me I can stay here and rot because she is going to FL.

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She actually said ROT? 

I think you have your answer then @Lindsays Grandma. You need to look for a cheaper place if you cannot afford where you currently are or look for a roommate. I know it is not ideal but if you do not want to go you don't have another choice.

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Yes, she actually said "ROT"

[cherry]

You must be just crushed. I am so sorry for you

[sophiamarie]

I was born, raised and schooled in a borough of NY and am living in SE Florida for over 40 years.  My five sons all went to school here in Florida.  We are all totally bilingual and a multi-cultural family.

I just love to read posts from people who never lived here or have friends who do, but know all about the "bugs, snakes, lizards, etc."  In all my over 40 years, I don't think I have seen 10 Palmetto bugs, all of them dead.  I have NEVER seen a "flying" Palmetto bug.  NEVER.  Garden snakes???  Sure.  I have never seen one but I know they are somewhere outside, but they are totally harmless.  I think they are black.

Fleas and ticks???  Not a single one.  These are modern times and we now have stuff that we put on our pets, that repel or control these things.

If there were all these bugs, snakes, alligators, fleas, ticks, etc., then why would anyone live here???  Why would anyone have friends who live here??  As for the bug bites??  Nobody sits outside on a hot, humid night anywhere unless they want to get bitten.  Long pants are the worst thing to wear sitting outdoors because they trap the mosquitoes.  We have screened- in lanais for people who want to sit outside.  Most Floridians don't hang around outside at night anyway.

Keep your house clean, spray around the outside a few times a year and there will be no infestation EVER.  For those who have bugs, I would guess they don't live in clean houses.  

True - the A/C has to be on 24/7 and our electric bill is well over $400+ a month but this isn't the norm.  We have 4 TV's on all day, 3 computers, and lights on in every room.  I admit I'm very careless about these things but this is what I'm used to.  Not everyone has electric bills this high.

People move down here in droves.  It's not like it was 30+ years ago, true.  But, we go with the flow.

So - for those people who hesitate moving down here - c'mon down.  You won't be sorry.  BTW, when I lived in NY, I remember seeing "water bugs" in a laundry room of an apartment building.  Does anyone know what they look like??  They are ugly and are around dirt.  Palmetto bugs are indiginous (sp) to Florida and they have nothing to do with dirt.  To add, I have also NEVER seen one walk outside on the sidewalk, although I hear people say they have.   If you have a dirty house, you will have bugs, no matter where you live.  We don't eat or leave food in rooms other than the kitchen.  No food - no bugs.  Palmetto bugs come in from outside if you leave doors open.  They quickly die from the spray that was used months before.  See?  There's something for everything.

To the OP:  I'm really sorry for what you are going through.  I don't envy you.  To move to Florida just for the sake of moving, is crazy.  Tell your daughter it's not cheap.  I wish you luck in whatever you do.