Community Chat

[Bestdressed]

Thank you Lion...it helps to hear these words. Missing my mom & dad ....so many memories. Now that I moved back into the house I grew up in ....after dad died. I also sent it to my BFF. Her DH died a few years ago ... and today is their anniversary. Eta ...sorry about anyone else who is grieving. Life can be hard sometimes.

[dooBdoo]

A while back, after discussing the way we sometimes have to steel our heart temporarily from the pain of grief, a friend shared a blog entry entitled "Surviving Grief."

"...reading the second volume of Hillary Mantel's stunningly good trilogy about Thomas Cromwell, I ran across this passage which speaks to the pain of grief more eloquently than I can: 'You think you might die of grief – but the pulse, obdurate, keeps its rhythm. You think you cannot keep breathing, but your rib cage has other ideas, rising and falling, emitting sighs. You must thrive in spite of yourself; and so that you may do it, God takes out your heart of flesh and gives you one of stone.'

I am grateful for this necessary grace that carries me through the heaviest stages of grief and which returns with additional balm for the unexpected recurrences."

~~~~~~

My heart goes out to all of you. Thank you, Lion, for the lovely quote and this thoughtful thread.

[sylviahomeatlast]

Thank you, dooBdoo and Lion

[SleeplessinSD]

dooBdoo....I mainly post on another thread, although I do like to read on the board certain threads I find interesting. I'm always touched by posts from you, as I find you to be kind and thoughtful. You're usually the voice of reason and calm when threads are taking a turn for the worse, as they seem to do often unfortunately. I just wanted to take a minute to let you know your words make a difference.....Helen. ETA: this is a beautiful thread. Sending prayers for all in need.....

[qualitygal]

Thanks! That was very nice and it is very true.

[qualitygal]

On 2/28/2015 Autumn in NY said:

Paraphrasing: "Grief is like the ocean; it ebbs and flows. Sometimes the water is calm and other times it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim."

This is absolutely true too, especially, the longer you live.

[Lion]

On 2/28/2015 dooBdoo said:

A while back, after discussing the way we sometimes have to steel our heart temporarily from the pain of grief, a friend shared a blog entry entitled "Surviving Grief."

"...reading the second volume of Hillary Mantel's stunningly good trilogy about Thomas Cromwell, I ran across this passage which speaks to the pain of grief more eloquently than I can: 'You think you might die of grief – but the pulse, obdurate, keeps its rhythm. You think you cannot keep breathing, but your rib cage has other ideas, rising and falling, emitting sighs. You must thrive in spite of yourself; and so that you may do it, God takes out your heart of flesh and gives you one of stone.'

I am grateful for this necessary grace that carries me through the heaviest stages of grief and which returns with additional balm for the unexpected recurrences."

~~~~~~

My heart goes out to all of you. Thank you, Lion, for the lovely quote and this thoughtful thread.

Thank you for sharing that, dBd.

The part I bolded helps explain how so many describe the days following a death, where it seems like almost an out-of-body experience. Going through the motions and necessary plans but not really feeling anything, just feeling numb.

Sometime later, when we're finally able to deal with the grief, our hearts & minds open and allow the grieving process and healing to begin.

The cycle of life...

[Apple Head]

Nice quote, thank you.

So many people tell those of us who may be grieving, "It's time to get over it." or "You shouldn't still be grieving." Usually those people are the ones who have not felt a significant loss in their lives.

Grief is personal and it is painful.

I recommend to anyone in grief to find a local grief support group. There no one will discount your feelings. They all feel the same and understand what you are going through.

[LeoGrl]

On 2/28/2015 Lion said:

(((LeoGrl))) & (((I am still oxox)))

Sometimes it helps to know we're not alone in grief.

Thank you Lion and hugs to you and all on here!

[dooBdoo]

On 2/28/2015 Helen47 said: dooBdoo....I mainly post on another thread, although I do like to read on the board certain threads I find interesting. I'm always touched by posts from you, as I find you to be kind and thoughtful. You're usually the voice of reason and calm when threads are taking a turn for the worse, as they seem to do often unfortunately. I just wanted to take a minute to let you know your words make a difference.....Helen. ETA: this is a beautiful thread. Sending prayers for all in need.....

What a generous, thoughtful post, Helen47. I certainly can get rambunctious at times like everyone else, but I try my best every day when I post. Sometimes I stumble over my words, not always able to express myself as I wish I could, but I always return to try again, to learn and try to do better the next time. Thank you, so much. I've been going through some rough patches, and I appreciate your kindness more than you know.

sylvia, You're welcome.

Lion, (post #36), You're welcome and I agree with you. Thanks, again, for this lovely thread.

Again, my heart goes out to all of you. I do believe we all have much more in common than "in difference."