Community Chat

[jlkz]

Jules, our loved ones never leave us: their spirit remains and watches over us. Your Dad is at peace now and I'm sure he wants you to be at peace. You gave a great gift to him and now need to take care of self. Tears may slow but have a way of revisiting us unbidden. After I lost my Aunt and closest friend Rita years ago, I recently felt the tears come as I walked past the perfume counter: someone had sprayed her favorite perfume in the air. It was too much for me. So don't be concerned for tears, they are a necessary part of the grieving process. May peace embrace you. JoAnne

[hennypenny]

One day at a time and don't be afraid to ask for help. Ask your friends to recommend a good financial, book keeping service that can help you with all the financial details and see if there is a reasonable attorney that can help you.

Your puppy is truly a Mitzvah (blessing). I can't help but believe that your father had a hand in picking her out for you. She will guide you through the hard days. It sounds as though she is already on duty.

[JustJules]

On 4/26/2014 velveteenb said:

hihi Jules (and puppy) --

i just read your most recent post, from early on the 24th. have you gotten some sleep since then? been able to eat and drink? i hope so.

yay for puppy! thank goodness you have her both for motivation and companionship. what a blessing she has been to you already, despite the chewed-up shoe(s)!

and now it's the weekend. i hope it will be a couple of days to catch your breath. days when maybe the world's requests seem less urgent. you are encouraged to take time to stay still and breathe. feel the earth solid beneath your feet. see the sun or moon above you. just be.

you are, of course, at any point allowed to ask for help. yes, it's crummy that the chaplain said the grief counselor would call, and nothing happened. you can call them to make an appointment. or ask your doctor for a referral to a different counselor. you shouldn't (and don't) have to get through this alone. you're very strong and smart and even your signature quotes attest to your ability to get things done ... and you are *still* not required to do it all yourself. i promise.

please post as you wish and are able. my good thoughts and wishes have not stopped heading toward you.

bunny. tdcr.

Bunny, you are so sweet and your post was so profound. that is what i did this weekend, tried to breathe, feel the earth, appreciate the sky .... just enjoy a few moments of stillness before the crazy starts again. I have been able to sleep more, i think it is out of pure exhaustion, but whatever works... and I have tried to eat, although I haven't had an appetite, but yesterday I finally got hungry. I took puppy for a long walk yesterday, slept, then went to visit my lady friend at the nursing facility last night. She calls me daily, and while I enjoy her company, I can't be there every day now that my daddy has passed. We have a bond and friendship, but I needed her to understand that there will be days when I just can't be there... today was one of those days. The exhaustion caught up to me, puppy woke me around 6am, let her out, played a bit... then i went back to bed and slept until 2:30pm... unreal for me, and puppy slept with me. I called her because I had said I would try to visit today, but I just needed time for me. She understood, but I felt bad all the same. I cannot visit her daily... I will be working and busy... it will be a couple times a week visit soon. I think she understands... I've told her I won't be out of her life, she has been a blessing in mine, I just can't be there every day, I have so much to do.

Puppy is for sure a gift, and I still haven't found the perfect name for her. It's awful, she needs a name, and I have never had such a problem before.. she is a conundrum, perhaps because she found me when I wasn't looking??? She has tested me, getting out of the yard, she is quite the Houdini, but it's hard to be angry at her when she looks at me with those big, beautiful eyes. She napped with me all day, and when she snuggles up to me it's all worth her bad moments. She has made me laugh, when I didn't think I could, so it's all good.

Thank you Preds, your hugs mean so much!!!!

I agree jlzk... the tears come at the most unusual moments... the tiniest detail can start a flood.

And thank you hennypenny, your advice is wise... I do need some help and since I have not received it from the people that said they would be there for me, I will seek it out on my own. I need to contact the attorney first, then the rest will fall in place.

Puppy is definitely a Mitzvah she seems to know when I need rest and comfort, and then when she needs to motivate me. She is a blessing and I love her.