Gifts for the Ungrateful - Page 7

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@febe1 wrote:
I have sent gifts out of state granddaughters for 23 years and have never received a thank you note. My son will tell me thank you, but never a word from my DIL or granddaughters.
I asked my son why, and he sort of gave a scoff, like she's not going to do that or teach the kids to do that.
On the birth of their second daughter, my BFF sent a gift. I apologized to her and thanked her, but I told her to not expect a thank you. I questioned my son? He just shrugged like there was nothing he could do. I blame both my son and DIL, but especially my DIL b/c I always had that responsibility and teaching.

@febe1 I'd blame your son because you questioned him and he did nothing. So write him a note and explain exactly why no more gifts are coming. Wow you blame her more after you talked to him? Not fair.

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

No guilt for the removal.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

River Song · ‎03-15-2010

I mailed a grand-nephew a wedding gift a year ago (yes, he received it, I tracked delivery). I have yet to receive any type of acknowledgment in the form of a thank you note, email, or text from the groom or bride. I know HE wasn't raised by wolves but don't know what her excuse is.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@CalminHeart wrote:
Gift giving isn't done with the expectation of a gift or recognition. It's done out of love.

@CalminHeart

And an educated adult(masters degree), returns "love", at the very least, by acknowledging all "gifts"!

That's my addition to what you have stated, or quoted from somewhere/someone.

hckynut

hckynut(john)

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@febe1 wrote:
I have sent gifts out of state granddaughters for 23 years and have never received a thank you note. My son will tell me thank you, but never a word from my DIL or granddaughters.
I asked my son why, and he sort of gave a scoff, like she's not going to do that or teach the kids to do that.
On the birth of their second daughter, my BFF sent a gift. I apologized to her and thanked her, but I told her to not expect a thank you. I questioned my son? He just shrugged like there was nothing he could do. I blame both my son and DIL, but especially my DIL b/c I always had that responsibility and teaching.

@febe1

Looks to me like your son doesn't follow your examples to him growing up. Does he realize most people worked hard to acquire money to buy gifts they send? And the number of hours some worked to buy those gifts?

Why you would send them to adult children(you say 23 years) that don't at least acknowledge they received them ain't registering with me!

hckynut

hckynut(john)

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

If you want to stop sending gifts to her, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Gifts should come from the heart and giving them is not a requirement. It is odd that her girls show appreciation for their gifts and she doesn't. When my brother's children were young, we had problems with him and his wife. We sent the kids gifts, we did not send gifts to the parents.

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@geezerette wrote:

My mother always made us girls write thank you notes, no matter how big or small the gift.

When my sisters had their children, one sister also insisted her children write thank you notes. The other sister did not think this was important and that "children should write 'thank yous' if they wanted." She always resented that our mother made us do that and didn't want her children feeling the same.

Whenever I sent gifts to the first sister's children, and eventually their children, I always got thank you notes. I never got notes from the second sister's children or their children either.

How in the world are the kids going to know they supposed to acknowledge a gift if they're never taught?

@geezerette

Understand completely what you are saying, except! Your last paragraph. I realize many adults will always see their kids as "their babies", but!

As an adult I learned a lot of things during each year of my adult life. My mom raised us well, but that started back in the 1940's until she died in 1969.

Today there are many more technologies that make a response or thank you, within minutes. People are that busy, or learned nothing about respect and propriety as they grew from being a child?

In this instance I don't fault the parents. At some point the "baby leaves the nest".

hckynut

hckynut(john)

febe1 · ‎01-22-2012

@Sooner wrote:
@febe1 wrote:
I have sent gifts out of state granddaughters for 23 years and have never received a thank you note. My son will tell me thank you, but never a word from my DIL or granddaughters.
I asked my son why, and he sort of gave a scoff, like she's not going to do that or teach the kids to do that.
On the birth of their second daughter, my BFF sent a gift. I apologized to her and thanked her, but I told her to not expect a thank you. I questioned my son? He just shrugged like there was nothing he could do. I blame both my son and DIL, but especially my DIL b/c I always had that responsibility and teaching.
@febe1 I'd blame your son because you questioned him and he did nothing. So write him a note and explain exactly why no more gifts are coming. Wow you blame her more after you talked to him? Not fair.

You're right, @Sooner , it's not fair.

febe1 · ‎01-22-2012

@hckynut wrote:
@febe1 wrote:
I have sent gifts out of state granddaughters for 23 years and have never received a thank you note. My son will tell me thank you, but never a word from my DIL or granddaughters.
I asked my son why, and he sort of gave a scoff, like she's not going to do that or teach the kids to do that.
On the birth of their second daughter, my BFF sent a gift. I apologized to her and thanked her, but I told her to not expect a thank you. I questioned my son? He just shrugged like there was nothing he could do. I blame both my son and DIL, but especially my DIL b/c I always had that responsibility and teaching.

@febe1

Looks to me like your son doesn't follow your examples to him growing up. Does he realize most people worked hard to acquire money to buy gifts they send? And the number of hours some worked to buy those gifts?

Why you would send them to adult children(you say 23 years) that don't at least acknowledge they received them ain't registering with me!

hcky

Without a doubt and it was very important to me, I didn't do as good a job as I should have with my son. Unfortunately, it's obvious to me the girls feel entitled. I've stopped sending gifts, and there's never been a word said by anybody.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@febe1 wrote:
@hckynut wrote:
@febe1 wrote:
I have sent gifts out of state granddaughters for 23 years and have never received a thank you note. My son will tell me thank you, but never a word from my DIL or granddaughters.
I asked my son why, and he sort of gave a scoff, like she's not going to do that or teach the kids to do that.
On the birth of their second daughter, my BFF sent a gift. I apologized to her and thanked her, but I told her to not expect a thank you. I questioned my son? He just shrugged like there was nothing he could do. I blame both my son and DIL, but especially my DIL b/c I always had that responsibility and teaching.

@febe1

Looks to me like your son doesn't follow your examples to him growing up. Does he realize most people worked hard to acquire money to buy gifts they send? And the number of hours some worked to buy those gifts?

Why you would send them to adult children(you say 23 years) that don't at least acknowledge they received them ain't registering with me!

hcky

Without a doubt and it was very important to me, I didn't do as good a job as I should have with my son. Unfortunately, it's obvious to me the girls feel entitled. I've stopped sending gifts, and there's never been a word said by anybody.