Community Chat

[AnikaBrodie]

@Madisson

You don't say where your aunt lives.  If she lives in close proximity to you, the best gift you could give would be your gift of time.  Visits, no matter how long or short, would be appreciated by her I'm sure.  Perhaps you could fit some visits in with her on the days you visit your mother.  Maybe you could also provide transportation for her treatment visits.  I'm sure she will not be allowed to drive until after the treatment is completed and perhaps not for some time thereafter. 

[INDIANA BONES]

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@Madisson wrote:

Hi everyone ~ I haven't been on here much at all recently. My 91 year old mother fell and fractured her leg in two places (ankle and femur) a month ago. She was in an assisted living facility and now is on the other side of it....skilled nursing. This ordeal is keeping me on the run constantly. I knew how much work being a caregiver at home is, but I never realized all the work involved in being a caregiver to someone in skilled nursing.

My favorite aunt and uncle sent her an absolutely gorgeous sheep skin comforter with a velvet cover. It is so warm and comforting just to touch it.

Now it turns out that this same aunt needs surgery for cancer in the eye.Fortunately, it has not metastasized.  She will have a radiation implant inserted so most of her treatment will be outpatient. I am looking for the perfect gift to send her. Any and all ideas would be much appreciated.

Thank you all so much, and I hope you are all enjoying the beautiful autumn weather!

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My prayers for your Mother, Aunt and all that love them.  I have no other ideas because the kindness of others have already given you many wonderful options.  I do think it is already a gift of LOVE that you are supporting them and trying to keep their spirits up to help in their healing.  I do hope one day modern medicine will advance in that our children will no longer hear the word Cancer.  Blessings coming your way.

[Madisson]

Hi Ladies,

Thank you for all the lovely suggestions so far. I wished I lived closer to my aunt and uncle, but they live in Northern California (no snow in their area), and we live in Southern California.

My aunt will only have her radiation implant in her eye for one week...and then we'll see how it goes from there. Hopefully, it will do the job it is intended to do. She and my uncle have two married daughters and grandchildren who live near them, so they will have lots of help with daily living.

I was hoping to find some sort of personal gift for her. The bathrobe and slippers may be a great idea. Any other suggestions are appreciated. Thank you, everyone...especially for the prayers.

[FLgardener]

Soft fleece or French terry zip-up hoodie--great for cold waiting rooms at hospital and dr. office.

Knit or crocheted or fleece hat--cancer patients get ferocious chills even if they don't lose their hair.

Those soft fuzzy socks.

Regarding throw blankets--great idea, even if most people already have some. The newer ones are the softest ever. Oversized would be great so she could really wrap up in it.

All the best to you and your family from an 8-year cancer caregiver.

[Zhills]

Cancer of the eye sounds soooooo scary!  Maybe some audio books and whatever it takes for her to be able to use them.  I just can't imagine not being able to see.  I think that would be the worse.   God bless you for your caring for all of these friends and family.

[Abrowneyegirl]

Quick thoughts:

A pair (or pairs) of cool, stylish sunglasses.  Her eyes may be sensititve to light (even indoors) due to her treatment.

Hats- 2 fold reason

   1- again protection from light

   2- when we do not feel 100% and don't want to do our hair a            hat can save the day.

Groceries -  many grocery stores offer home delivery.  You can log on from where-ever create a grocery cart and have it deliveried to their house.  I did this for a family with a medical emergency and they were so thankful to have comfort foods, healthy snacks and staples "arrive" at their house.

[Burnsite]

If she likes music--particularly any kind hard to find on the radio--consider some CDs? 

Or if she loves old movies, maybe screwball comedies or something that will make her laugh, there might be DVDs she would enjoy? 

I know many stream their entertainment these days, but just suggest this in case she is still someone who would like the discs.

[MaggieMack]

There are some great gift ideas here. Another thing you may want to consider is including a warm, handwritten letter to your aunt reminiscing one or two of your favorite memories with her. My DH was sick on and off for four years before he passed, and the gifts he cherished most were the notes or letters letting him know how much he had impacted a life and how much he was loved.

[Mominohio]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

Personally, I think you should be looking for a gift for your aunt.  Not for a "cancer patient".  She' still the same person, she hasn't morphed into a "cancer patient".  I find that a little offensive.  Defining people by their illnesses.  There are have been enormous strides in cancer treatment today and many people go through their treamtent and never actually feel ill.  They don't become disabled or sick.  Between treatment, they live their normal lives.  Since your aunt's treatment will be outpatient, that might indeed be the case with her.  So, if you are going to give her a gift, just give her something lovely or cute or funny that will give her pleasure.  She might have some vision deficits, so I wouldn't buy books or magazines.  I know nothing about the lady, so it's impossible of offer any suggestions. 

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I find chastisment of the OP very offensive. Her title gets to the point of exactly what she needs. She is being worn thin with her mother's needs at this time, and still wanting to help her aunt. Excuse her if her choice of words is offensive to you. Your sense of what is an appropriate way for her to view her aunt's circumstance isn't what is at issue here. What is important is that someone who is already a caregiver, is trying to give to yet another person facing health issues. 

And very many people don't just slide through cancer treatement, either physically, and definitely not emotionally. At times, we are indeed defined by our illness or disability, as well as limited physically, emotionally, and financially. It is not the whole us, but it can define who we are for a time. The same with those surrounding them, like this OP. If you can't cut her a little slack about the way she has phrased her request, condisering her level of involvement in cargiving and relationship to her aunt, then perhaps it would be best not to respond at all.

[Madisson]

Thank you, everyone, for all the great suggestions. I haven't made a final decision yet, but you have all provided me with some warm and wonderful ideas!