Getting Rid Of Stuff After A Death - Page 2

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

Aww the youngest daughter is having a harder time that you about the loss of her own mother. It was just six months ago.

I wouldn't let her hear you call her mother a major pack rat, either. That could be very, very hurtful.

If she has her own home she can take whatever she wants and store it there as she pleases. I'm thinking she offered you (a dress?) that she does have an attachment to her dear mother's things--no matter how outdated or undesirable you think they are.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

I remember when I was like 30, my Mother who I was visiting asked if I would want her Mink stole.... I told her" Mom, no one wears those anymore and they are not politically correct"..she just could not give it away... yet had no need for it.

Helen Bach · ‎03-12-2010

This topic should be discussed more than it is. Going through my dad's condo was sad. we threw everything away and he had an awesome library. But guess who didn't want books? The library! And Goodwill didn't want most of his stuff. I too am now motivated to throw out tons of junk from our house here on the farm. Nobody wants our old junk

lkat · ‎07-23-2014

My mom was also a packrat and when she passed, my dad couldn't handle going through her things. As the only daughter, it ended up falling on me. I got rid of all her clothes (many still with tags), shoes, makeup, etc., but didn't get rid of anything else because my dad didn't want me to.

Fast forward to 5 years later when my dad passed and I had a whole house of stuff to go through. It was very hard, especially going through pictures and boxes of sentimental stuff she had saved in the attic. Of course my brothers had no interest in anything and were zero help! Though I did end up saving a small box of some stuff for them that I thought might mean something.

I'm not the packrat my mom was, but I do have a hard time getting rid of certain things. I try to get rid of stuff every year as I only have one child and I hate the idea of him having to go through everything. It's not easy for me though. I really wish I was a minimalist who didn't get so attached to certain things!

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

We are all different. When I lost my mom after a long battle with cancer, I never wanted to see what I called her " cancer clothes " again. She had become so small, just a shadow of herself. I tossed those clothes, and donated the nicer things. In the end , I kept some jewelry, especially the things she wore all of the time. It took a while , but slowly I was left with just a few precious items, but it took longer than I could have ever imagined.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

I can sympathize because I am continuing to go through that now. My Mom died in August 2020 and my garage is full of her stuff. I have already gone through and taken what I want - which was a lot - but I managed to make room for it all and work it in, so to speak.

For months I have been debating between a garage sale or donating. I am leaning toward donating. But of course, I have to look at it all again (that is just me) and hope I am not tempted to keep much more. I, like your neice, feel that the item has the memory attached. If I get rid of it, the memory will be gone too. Everyone is different as far as their attachment to "stuff." And everyone grieves differently too, which makes it all the harder.

Good luck in dealing with all this.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:
I remember when I was like 30, my Mother who I was visiting asked if I would want her Mink stole.... I told her" Mom, no one wears those anymore and they are not politically correct"..she just could not give it away... yet had no need for it.

@SeaMaiden I ended up with two mink stoles, one from each of my grandmothers. Their initials are embroidered on the inside lining of each one. What will I ever do with them?

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

@lkat wrote:
My mom was also a packrat and when she passed, my dad couldn't handle going through her things. As the only daughter, it ended up falling on me. I got rid of all her clothes (many still with tags), shoes, makeup, etc., but didn't get rid of anything else because my dad didn't want me to.

Fast forward to 5 years later when my dad passed and I had a whole house of stuff to go through. It was very hard, especially going through pictures and boxes of sentimental stuff she had saved in the attic. Of course my brothers had no interest in anything and were zero help! Though I did end up saving a small box of some stuff for them that I thought might mean something.

I'm not the packrat my mom was, but I do have a hard time getting rid of certain things. I try to get rid of stuff every year as I only have one child and I hate the idea of him having to go through everything. It's not easy for me though. I really wish I was a minimalist who didn't get so attached to certain things!

@lkat Yeah, me too! I am right there with you.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

The sentimental daughter or relative should be allowed to take whatever she wishes, even if it's a lot of items.

Some people are just very, very sentimental. Certain items bring back good memories.

Maybe one day she will have daughters or sons who feel the same, and will cherish those items.

I'd give her a call, and tell her that she's welcome to come over and take whatever she wants.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

ninjawife · ‎11-15-2011

@Puppy Lips wrote:
@SeaMaiden wrote:
I remember when I was like 30, my Mother who I was visiting asked if I would want her Mink stole.... I told her" Mom, no one wears those anymore and they are not politically correct"..she just could not give it away... yet had no need for it.

@SeaMaiden I ended up with two mink stoles, one from each of my grandmothers. Their initials are embroidered on the inside lining of each one. What will I ever do with them?

I still have my mother's red fox jacket and white fox stole and she died in 2012. I have no idea what to do with them.