Re: Getting Rid Of Stuff After A Death

Roscoe the Rascal · ‎04-19-2016

Not an easy job to do and been there a few times.

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

@MarcyG72 wrote:
My mother and I were talking about this subject today! She said to me "your brother and you will have to rent a dumpster when your father and me die." They have boxes in their attic of clothes I wore in grade school! My comment to her was why would you leave all of this for us to do?

I have already had this 'duty' for two other family members, and am almost 70 with health issues myself. My house is non-cluttered...everything in boxes and labeled.

"Why would any parent do this to their not-so-young children"?

@MarcyG72

I would have considered myself blessed if my mother had lived until I was not so young. She died when I was 29.

hckynut 🇺🇸

hckynut(john)

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

'Still'....I say just let her take whatever she wants and not pay attention to where she will store it. (Said in a nice way.)

Actually, it would benefit O/P as she will have less to dispose, donate, etc.

Well, I can only say what I would do.

Wishing everyone goodness and well.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

It is a job one doesn't forget that is for sure. In the last few years My husband and I were in charge of clearing the homes of his parents, my dad, my mom, and my moms significant other, Funny how the other siblings don't show up to help , except at the end. It is a burn out job. But it is an obligation that must be done, and with love and gratitude for the deceased. The Salvation Army, HOPE, and Goodwill were are best buddies. They sent a truck, lol. If you inherit the stuff, get donation receipts as it is yours and you can deduct donation. We still have our garage full of things we thought we going to keep, and decided no.

after the last house we cleaned out we both decided we don't need half of what we have. It isn't important. All the things we cherish just aren't appreciate , needed or wanted by those who will inherit them. I told all three of my daughters and grandkids, anything you like in my house, put your name on a sticker on bottom or tell me, and it will be yours. Periodically, I ask who wants something, I ask friends, if no one needs...goes to charity. All the collections I thought were so important to add too? No one will want them. Except maybe a stranger.

“sometimes you have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on”….Bob Dylan

STYLE · ‎06-12-2011

@SeaMaiden I, too, still have my 1962 mink stole. Wore it to so many different affairs and felt like a million dollars. But that was then and this is now. You are right, it is time to get rid of . Maybe the raccoons will want it.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

@STYLE wrote:
@SeaMaiden I, too, still have my 1962 mink stole. Wore it to so many different affairs and felt like a million dollars. But that was then and this is now. You are right, it is time to get rid of . Maybe the raccoons will want it.

'Maybe the raccoons will want it .'

Maybe the raccoons will want it back.

Jacie · ‎01-09-2011

My Mom passed in 2019. I spent almost a year dismantling and getting her stuff sold. Fortunately for me, though she had so much, it was beautifully stored and in marked containers. She was very neat but she had lived in her 5 bedroom home for 64 years!

I was alone in handling her house, I have a brother who is pretty useless, I chose to have an estate sale through a local company. It went well and there were only a few piles and some furniture for donation.

What did I learn? Downsize now! My Mom never did, I do not want to leave that task to anyone as she did to me. So grateful she could stay in her home until her death, but omg. My husband and I immediately got our act together, sold our large home in 2021, had a huge sale and came to a 2 bedroom home in a warmer climate, with very little stuff.

It is very freeing. I no longer collect and do not care about "stuff"!

"Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral." -Garfield

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

@Jacie wrote:
My Mom passed in 2019. I spent almost a year dismantling and getting her stuff sold. Fortunately for me, though she had so much, it was beautifully stored and in marked containers. She was very neat but she had lived in her 5 bedroom home for 64 years!

I was alone in handling her house, I have a brother who is pretty useless, I chose to have an estate sale through a local company. It went well and there were only a few piles and some furniture for donation.

What did I learn? Downsize now! My Mom never did, I do not want to leave that task to anyone as she did to me. So grateful she could stay in her home until her death, but omg. My husband and I immediately got our act together, sold our large home in 2021, had a huge sale and came to a 2 bedroom home in a warmer climate, with very little stuff.

It is very freeing. I no longer collect and do not care about "stuff"!

@Jacie - I also use the word "freeing" when I discuss downsizing and decluttering. I moved at the end of December to a smaller house with no stairs (yeah!) and the move was so easy. I have never been over the top about possessions but I actively and declutter all the time and have for years and years. And yes, like you, I find it so freeing.

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

Puppy Lips · ‎05-09-2010

Well I have something else to add. My Dad passed in 2016. I kept a dozen or so of his neckties, along with some shirts and sweater vests. Our youngest son graduated from college in Dec. 2021, with an impressive double major, degrees my Dad would be so proud of.

Anyway, I could not find just the right necktie for him to wear at the graduation ceremony. Then I thought about my Dad's ties. Wouldn't you know I found the perfect one - small print to show above his robe and the exact colors I was looking for. I brought tears to my eyes when I found it and when I gave it to my son, who was only too happy to wear it.

Keeping things of loved ones that you may have no need for now, can often be useful later on. I kept some of my Mom's clothing, thinking I will use the fabric to make doll clothes for my grand daughter.

Now, I kept a lot of other things too. But I would rather keep too much than give something away that I regret later.

We all have to make our own decisions on these things, and live with the consequences.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

map167 · ‎09-05-2016

My MIL passed in 1990. Half of her house wound up in mine, which was ok cause we could make use of her beautiful furniture. Hubby passed 4 years ago and going through his stuff, 15 trash bags of clothes (he was a clothes horse, never wore out or got rid of anything). Found boxes of papers he had in a closet. Cancelled checks, bank statements, tax returns from his parents going back to the 1940's. Took weeks to shred it all. 30+ trash bags of shred. I am still finding stuff to get rid of. I believe those older folks who lived through the Depression held on to everything. Hubby's saying was "don't get rid of it, you never know when you may need it".