Re: Get Your Ducks in a Row

Mindy D · ‎05-23-2010

@wismiss @I am so sorry about all of this. This state law, and others like it, needs to be challenged in some court. There also needs to be some publicity generated about it. Thank you for notifying us here.

It goes against the expressed wishes of the decedent. The law should have required the decedent to change his will at the time or after the divorce. It should not automatically revert to there being, in essence, no inheritor. There should not be any state in which non relatives can not inherit (I know there are states that do this)...when there are no other living relatives, leaving entire estates to languish. It's time for higher courts to address these issues.

Call some papers like The Atlantic, Propublica, NYT, Washington Post, WSJ. One of them might want to do a story about this and generate publicity. This tactic might be too late to help you, but maybe not. Call ACLU too. I have no idea if this is a situation that would fall under their purview or not, but you can find out. I don't even know if decedents have any rights. I'd avoid calling AARP for them to do an article. I don't think it will generate the public appeal to make changes that an article in one of the other news sources will.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Another note: At least of a few years ago Social Security WILL NOT take Power of Attorney. The person getting the Social Security has to appoint their designated payee while in sound mind or you have to get doctors to sign statements that meet certain conditions that they are no longer able to handle affairs.

IF you are going to be responsible for paying for someone, become their designated payee, fiduciary or whatever their income source requires BEFORE they are unable to sign.

Othereeeen · ‎03-13-2010

My Mom lived itl 95 in great health mentally and physically, but the last week she had to go to the Emer room and the ER doc gave her a clipboard with a POLST form on it, which updated her wishes for that day. She didn't need it that day, but one week later she passed on in a nursing home, and THEY required a new one when she was admitted.

Here in PA...it's called a POLST form:

Pennsylvania – Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment (POLST).

You can Google it.

It becomes the patients most recent document for end of life issues, and goes with the patient in the ER to a nursing home, in the ambulance, whatever....

I suppose this doc would supercede any previously prepared document.

And it can only be signed by a patient who is lucid and capable.

I don't know what would happen if they were unconscious or worse.

You can Google it to read it.

Forty Six states have or are developing this form.

I don't know if they ask ALL ER patients who can to sign this form, or admitted patients, but they asked my Mom...I had never heard of it. Mom died in 2015 so it's been here in PA for quite a while.

Hope this helps.

pieman · ‎11-21-2013

I'm so sorry you went through this too.

They sure don't make things easy in such a stressful time..

LoganPup · ‎04-18-2010

@Sooner wrote:
Another note: At least of a few years ago Social Security WILL NOT take Power of Attorney. The person getting the Social Security has to appoint their designated payee while in sound mind or you have to get doctors to sign statements that meet certain conditions that they are no longer able to handle affairs.

IF you are going to be responsible for paying for someone, become their designated payee, fiduciary or whatever their income source requires BEFORE they are unable to sign.

Absolutely true, I learned this lesson the hard way very recently.

Familiarize yourselves with the terms "Designated Payee",

and/or "Representative Payee".

Duckncover · ‎07-16-2021

It is important to remember that what qualifies as a valid will varies wildly from state to state.
Another key thing to add is making funeral arrangements in advance. My mother had not done this, so I know what it is like to suddenly have to make decisions like this. Very overwhelming when you have not slept in days, etc. Thank goodness for my dear DH who helped so much. It takes a burden off your kids or other family members to have it preplanned.