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[ShowMe]

On 11/19/2014 free-spirit said:

I keep the following taped up next to my PC.

From Forgive for Good by Dr Fred Luskin:

What Forgiveness Is:

Forgiveness is for you and not the offender.

Forgiveness is taking back your power.

Forgiveness is taking responsibility for how you feel.

Forgiveness is about your healing and not about the people who hurt you.

Forgiveness helps you get control over your feelings.

Forgiveness can improve your mental and physical health.

Forgiveness is becoming a hero instead of a victim.

Forgiveness is a choice.

Everyone can learn to forgive.

What Forgiveness Is Not:

Forgiveness is not condoning unkindness.

Forgiveness is not forgetting that something painful happened.

Forgiveness is not excusing poor behavior.

Forgiveness is not denying or minimizing your hurt.

Forgiveness does not mean reconciling with the offender.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to give up having feelings.

Thanks......this is so good.

But, I do have problems with letting go and forgetting.......as I am sure many folks do.

[ROMARY]

Smart folks, even countries, have had to move forward and 'get along'. Just look back at World history. We would be 'in a heck of a mess' had we not helped rebuild and move forward.

[foundinlv]

One of my first cousins did something so terrible, that she is dead to me and I have always hated that expression. In fact, there's never been anyone I ever felt before the need to use that terrible expression...but so was her act, that so rightly deserves it.

[dooBdoo]

On 11/19/2014 free-spirit said:

I keep the following taped up next to my PC.

From Forgive for Good by Dr Fred Luskin:

What Forgiveness Is:

Forgiveness is for you and not the offender.

Forgiveness is taking back your power.

Forgiveness is taking responsibility for how you feel.

Forgiveness is about your healing and not about the people who hurt you.

Forgiveness helps you get control over your feelings.

Forgiveness can improve your mental and physical health.

Forgiveness is becoming a hero instead of a victim.

Forgiveness is a choice.

Everyone can learn to forgive.

What Forgiveness Is Not:

Forgiveness is not condoning unkindness.

Forgiveness is not forgetting that something painful happened.

Forgiveness is not excusing poor behavior.

Forgiveness is not denying or minimizing your hurt.

Forgiveness does not mean reconciling with the offender.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to give up having feelings.

Thanks for posting this, free-spirit! I've never seen it before, but I'm definitely copying and saving it.

[sylviahomeatlast]

if I want forgiveness, I need to be willing to forgive others---

[Marianne1]

I don't like the guilt inducing feeling that sometimes comes across when people tell others they need to forgive.

Like there is something wrong with the person that can't or won't forgive.

Too personal to make blanket statements, for me.

[jubilant]

For the most part, I refuse to spend much time around a person I have forgiven if that person continues to have ill will for me. Forgiveness is really an on going thing that you do for yourself so as not to live in anger and stress. However, to purposely put yourself in harms way with a person you have forgiven but who continues to treat you badly is something I won't do.

[June Lands]

On 11/19/2014 colliegirls said:

Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away from these relatives. Sometimes the water under the bridge is just too much to forgive or forget, it can be years of bad memories.

I agree with this. I think if people walked away, there would be much less domestic violence and abuse.

[makeup addict]

I was at a Women of Faith conference this weekend and they shared this story. She lost her daughter on Mother's Day. Matthew West wrote a song about Forgiveness in part to this story.

Forgiveness is release.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/mothers-forgiveness-gives-convict-second-chance/

(CBS News) TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- Not many convicts consider themselves blessed, but Eric Smallridge does, and for good reason. He's getting out of prison -- way early.

"It's going to be like being on borrowed time, because I know I should still be in prison, because the justice system said I should still be in prison," Eric says.

Lisa Dickson and Meagan Napier.

CBS NEWS/NAPIER FAMILY

In 2003, Eric, of Tallahassee, Fla., was found guilty of two counts of DUI manslaughter. While driving at twice the legal limit for alcohol, he hit a car carrying Lisa Dickson and Meagan Napier, both 20, killing both girls instantly. He got 22 years for the crime, which sounded just about right to Renee Napier, Meagan's mom.

"I felt like our system had served us well and justice had been served. I definitely felt that," Renee says.

But a few years later, a woman came forward and asked the judge to reduce Eric's sentence by half. She claimed Eric was truly sorry for what he'd done and deserved leniency. The judge obliged -- partly because of what she said, but mostly because of who she was.

Renee's 180-degree shift began with the single turn of a single phrase. First at Eric's sentencing and later in a letter, Renee told Eric she'd forgiven him, even though, at the time, she hadn't -- not really. At trial, Eric had actually been pretty defensive and unapologetic.

"I could hate him forever and the world would tell me that I have a right to do that," Renee says. "It's not going to do me any good, and it's not going to do him any good. I would grow old and bitter and angry and hateful. ... In my opinion, forgiveness is the only way to heal."

She says it did heal her -- almost as much as it healed him.

"It was like a burden," he says. "It was a weight off my chest. I no longer had to hide behind this facade."

Renee Napier embraces Eric Smallridge.

CBS NEWS/PENSACOLA NEWS JOURNAL

Following the forgiveness, Eric apologized repeatedly and profusely -- in private and in public -- to the families of both girls. Eventually, Lisa's parents forgave him, too, which only inspired Eric to atone even more.

While still in custody, Eric agreed to speak at high schools with Renee, telling kids, as only they can, the consequences of drinking and driving. They both plan to continue doing this even after Eric's release.

"I'm going to go to wherever we need to go to spread this message, because I don't believe it's about us anymore," he says.

"There's going to be healing, and there's going to be good things from here on out," says Renee.

This week Eric Smallridge was released from custody into the arms of his parents -- his mom so grateful that she actually hugged the guard first.

It's a happy ending that would have never existed without forgiveness. Because of that one powerful word, tonight he is free. And so is she.

The Meagan Napier Foundation

[makeup addict]

Lyrics to the Matthew West song:

It's the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those that don't deserve

It's the opposite of how you feel
When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word...

Forgiveness
Forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It's always anger's own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge
It's the whisper in your ear saying 'Set It Free'

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible

Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

It'll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it's power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

I want to finally set it free
So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, Forgiveness
---
Read more at http://www.lyrics.com/forgiveness-lyrics-matthew-west.html#usF7vpLGzfDsiGjz.99