For All Dealing With Relatives - Page 2

deepwaterdotter · ‎03-09-2010

Reading this thread makes me thankful for my family members. They are helpful, understanding, and display mature behavior.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

Interesting and insightful thread. I think every family has a certain amount of drama in it. I've never known anyone who has spoken highly of their entire family.

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@Venezia wrote:
Where I grew up the saying was always "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives!"

How true.

Most people do pick their some of their relatives and many make bad choices.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@ECBG wrote:
@Sooner

Thank you for your kind words.
Almost 20 years ago, it dawned on me I could actually chose to close the door and have peace in my life-or not. My choice was peace. No more poison in my life.

Along that same vein, it was so peaceful, when I just got up and left the room. Real easy. Highly suggest that.

ninjawife · ‎11-15-2011

My parents died in 2012 and 2016. Since they passed I have had little contact with either side of my family. I reach out but I get little back from them. I am an only child and the only person I have any relationship with is my mother's younger sister and her daughter. That's ok by me b/c there is a lot of cray-cray in my family.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

You can avoid a lot of people but it's a lot harder to avoid family.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

songbird · ‎03-21-2010

My husband dislikes my sister and my sister in law. He alwasy grumbles when I go to New York with them. They're polite to each other, but he avoids them. I'm close to my sister, so it's a thorn on my side too. When I get invited to dinner there, he doesn't go.

cindyNC · ‎08-01-2019

Interesting discussion. Have a friend who had a huge blowout with her brother. They might be on the mend.

Our last phone call, I asked her if she would go to his funeral if he passed. She said yes as she is still close to her neices.

My BF has a brother that he has no contact with due to lots of complications w/the SIL. His cousins have no contact w/their brother. I have no contact w/my sister. These choices are after years of conflict and mental health issues.

When BF's father died, his mother wondered why his sister came to the funeral as she never spoke to him.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I have found that it is possible to keep your love for the difficult person but important to limit your exposure to them. I have a son I have not seen or spoken to in 6 years. It has probably been the most painful experience of my life....but it has taught me much.

Trying to mend things with difficult people who won't reconcile is impossible. It does nothing but bring even more pain into our lives. You can't reconcile when there is nothing to reconcile with. It takes two.

I love my son dearly and always will. I know in my heart that I did everything possible to keep the relationship going. There comes a time, however, when you say..."enough is enough" and let peace come back into your life. What's that old saying...."peace, at any price, is not peace".

While my faith requires me to do my best, I can't change another person. What I found I can do (with God's help), is retain that peace in my life.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@jubilant wrote:
I have found that it is possible to keep your love for the difficult person but important to limit your exposure to them. I have a son I have not seen or spoken to in 6 years. It has probably been the most painful experience of my life....but it has taught me much.

Trying to mend things with difficult people who won't reconcile is impossible. It does nothing but bring even more pain into our lives. You can't reconcile when there is nothing to reconcile with. It takes two.

I love my son dearly and always will. I know in my heart that I did everything possible to keep the relationship going. There comes a time, however, when you say..."enough is enough" and let peace come back into your life. What's that old saying...."peace, at any price, is not peace".

While my faith requires me to do my best, I can't change another person. What I found I can do (with God's help), is retain that peace in my life.

@jubilant I understand exactly what you are talking about. It's like I read never argue with a narcissist because you'll never win.

And there are things you can't control or change and you deal as best you can, and a prayer and a willing spirit.