Community Chat

[tansy]

On 12/22/2014 Cranberry Fairyleaves said:

On 12/22/2014 Complicated said:

"Usually when someone turns on you it is not them, it's you"? I have to think that one through-- that doesn't sound right to me.

Not someone -- everyone.

I tend to agree with this. When someone keeps hearing the same thing from people, look at your own behavior.

[Catitude]

Start working on yourself. You claim you stay with your DH because you don't want to be alone and are overweight. Why not start the New Year devoting yourself to you and nobody else. Stay out of everyone's business and make yourself your number 1 priority. As your self esteem builds, others will see a change and possibly begin respecting you more. It's clear your son has no respect for you. Leave him alone. If you can afford it, go for some therapy or join a support group. Best wishes to you.

[Marianne1]

On 12/22/2014 Cranberry Fairyleaves said:

On 12/22/2014 Complicated said:

"Usually when someone turns on you it is not them, it's you"? I have to think that one through-- that doesn't sound right to me.

Not someone -- everyone.

Sorry, I guess I misread. But even so, I don't agree for this case. Actually, I can't tell much about this situation, but-- if the wife is mistreated and put down by the husband to the point of thinking they are worthless- and the husband teaches his son to treat her the same way, it is a multi person issue. Blame doesn't really solve it, anyway.

[Marp2]

On 12/22/2014 RoughDraft said:

Not going to say it...nope.

Why do I get the feeling we are thinking similar thoughts.

[anon]

On 12/22/2014 Brokenhearted said: Nope i never saw this coming. Hate is a strong word. I am a good mother, I love my ds. Can I be overbearing, sure but i did nothing to deserve his hate.

Overbearing...there it is. That is the problem. You need to back off and let him live his own life and make his own mistakes. DO NOT give advice unless he asks. Otherwise keep quiet!

[VioletEyes]

On 12/22/2014 Brokenhearted said: Actually im on my cell phone. After receiving the text, my husband doing nothing, saying nothing , i left. Im sitting in a parking lot thinking. there ia an issue with ds gf, as I was speaking to her on the phone being respectful but firm trying g to work out issues, her mom gets on the phone screaming, telling me- I am a piece of poop- a blank for calling her dd(foul word for a female) and a wh*re. This lady doesn't know me, never met me - - I've been married for almost forever- my husband is the second person ive ever been with. Ds wasn't going to say anything to the mother in my defense-- that alone made me cry. Everything continued to go south.

Why did you call your son's girlfriend such unfortunate, derogatory words? Using that kind of language towards another woman speaks volumes.

[Buck-i-Nana]

On 12/22/2014 Brokenhearted said: I say with my husband for a few reasons. Too acted to leave. I'm overweight, i feel very uncomfortable about my body. Dealt with it for so long. Maybe no self esteem, I really don't know--don't want to be alone, I know that.

There is nothing wrong with being alone, it sure is better than being with someone who obviously doesn't respect you!

Your son is 27, you should not be involved in his relationship with his gf AT ALL, and most definitely should not be calling her! If he wanted you to get involved he would have asked you. Also, at 27, he shouldn't be depending on you financially and if he is, it's best he cut the cord.

[VioletEyes]

On 12/22/2014 Marp2 said:

On 12/22/2014 RoughDraft said:

Not going to say it...nope.

Why do I get the feeling we are thinking similar thoughts.

Make that 3 of us.

[anon]

On 12/22/2014 SoftRaindrops said:

On 12/22/2014 Brokenhearted said: Actually im on my cell phone. After receiving the text, my husband doing nothing, saying nothing , i left. Im sitting in a parking lot thinking. there ia an issue with ds gf, as I was speaking to her on the phone being respectful but firm trying g to work out issues, her mom gets on the phone screaming, telling me- I am a piece of poop- a blank for calling her dd(foul word for a female) and a wh*re. This lady doesn't know me, never met me - - I've been married for almost forever- my husband is the second person ive ever been with. Ds wasn't going to say anything to the mother in my defense-- that alone made me cry. Everything continued to go south.

Why did you call your son's girlfriend such unfortunate, derogatory words? Using that kind of language towards another woman speaks volumes.

Her mom called the OP those names.

[Brokenhearted]

I agree, alone would be better then being mistreated but i am afraid of being alone. Plus I'm very overweight. Personally i do resent my ds gf for many reasons, the first time I reached out to her to talk, she notified my son who in return gets more ticked at me(she knows this) . I called and told her she was a pot stirrer and asked why she went back to my ds with that I reached out to her. I was respectful but firm in what I had to say. Next thing her mother is on the phone, soon there after, the text from ds.