Community Chat

[Catiele]

My first love is my husband. We were 15 and 16 when we met. Too young but in love. Of course married young but for us it just worked. So different than my parents who married later in life.

[libbyannE]

I know it is common, but I think it is dangerous or,  at least, immature to compare the idealism of a first love with the deep reality of a mature married relationship. If one feels such longing, it probably is a signal to look at your marriage and figure out how to make it or yourself better. I am a Capricorn with a Taurus moon--loyal to the nth degree. I will always love my first love,  but I feel lucky that I did not marry him. I know I married the right guy!

[Shorty2U]

Wow that's long to think of. No one forgets their first love but that's a long time in your case to think what if?

I did not date till after high school (was having too much fun with friends and going to the beach!) Sooo my first love was my 1st husband who I was married to for 19 years and had  2 kids with. And I have zero regrets (because I have my kids and now grandkids I wouldn't have of course if I wouldn't have had kids!) but believe me I don't miss him. lol. He did some terrible things one of them cheating which ended our marriage!

I am now happily married for 10 years and with my husband now for a total of 17 years so I never think romantically of my first husband (who is also remarried).

[violann]

Bittersweet story- I dated a wonderful man when we were HS kids. We broke off after making our college choices, but I'd see him or hear from him every once in a while, We had been much too young to make a serious commitment when we'd gone out, and not forcing things was for the best.

We moved on and I met a second wonderful man, fell in love with him, and married.

After several years, I learned from a mutual friend that "something very sad" had happened to gentleman #1, but our friend wasn't sure what.

After a while, I ran into something on a reunion site that if anyone had momentos of our HS years, they were being collected for gentleman #1.

I had shared all this with DH as it was happening, and HE suggested that we find out where #1 was, and perhaps go and see him.

Unfortunately, I was totally unable to find any record of him.

After reading this thread, I made another attempt at finding him, and his obituary turned up in a search.

I feel profoundly sorry that I was unable to do something to brighten #1's life even just a little, and also incredibly grateful that my husband suggested and supported my attempt to do so.

I'm also gratified to have known two such fine men in my life.

[golding76]

violann, how blessed you have been in your life two know two very kind men who were close to your heart.  What a touching story; your husband is a gem!

[golding76]

Shorty2U, I'm so glad your story had a happy ending.  Infidelity doesn't fly with me, either.  People do experience attractions to others; that I can understand.  Acting on that desire is what I do not understand.