Re: FAIR OR NOT FAIR

WenGirl42 · ‎07-05-2012

I'm assuming that since the OP said the husband bought the house, only his name is on it.

It sounds fair to me as laid out, although her understanding of what she's entitled to from the sale of the home isn't quite correct (at the very least since she has spent her own money on improvements, but it might also matter in her state if the husband purchased the home after they were legally married). She should consult an attorney to make sure she knows what she is actually entitled to if she doesn't trust her husband to have her best interest in mind.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

If I were in her position, I wouldn't have sunk 40k of my money into up-grades to the home.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

Based on the agreement, I feel it was foolish of her to fork over money for the maintenance and improvement of the house. That wasn't in the agreement, she did it voluntarily (perhaps some remodeling/redecorating she wanted done and he wouldn't pay for?). So now I wonder if that $40,000+ is gnawing at her.

Whether the agreement is "fair" or not, she entered into it with a mature and competent mind. She can't suddenly decide it's not fair. Well, she can, but legally she agreed to it, period. She could certainly push it, and her husband, to change things - but going only by what you've said in the OP, that could end in divorce. Is she ready for that? It doesn't sound to me as if it's any great can't-live-without-em love match.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

adamlambert · ‎10-19-2016

imho it's not financially smart. They must file separate tax returns and just that eliminates a huge deduction. Taxes aside, I would never,ever agree to that. I'm a suspicious person and there's a reason she isn't on the house. What is it?! I definitely would not have paid a penny for a house that's not in my name. Why did she do that? Her own free will?

Spinach30 · ‎03-15-2017

I think marrying later in life brings on these issues. They do seem to care for each other very much.

@Moonchilde wrote:
Based on the agreement, I feel it was foolish of her to fork over money for the maintenance and improvement of the house. That wasn't in the agreement, she did it voluntarily (perhaps some remodeling/redecorating she wanted done and he wouldn't pay for?). So now I wonder if that $40,000+ is gnawing at her.

Whether the agreement is "fair" or not, she entered into it with a mature and competent mind. She can't suddenly decide it's not fair. Well, she can, but legally she agreed to it, period. She could certainly push it, and her husband, to change things - but going only by what you've said in the OP, that could end in divorce. Is she ready for that? It doesn't sound to me as if it's any great can't-live-without-em love match.

ALRATIBA · ‎07-15-2016

I can't say whether it's fair or not. She obviously agreed to the arrangement.

If she signed a pre-nup ... I would hope she consulted an attorney beforehand. And ... depends on community property laws in her state.

If he dies first ... his will governs what happens to the house.

Spinach30 · ‎03-15-2017

@Adamlambert wrote:
imho it's not financially smart. They must file separate tax returns and just that eliminates a huge deduction. Taxes aside, I would never,ever agree to that. I'm a suspicious person and there's a reason she isn't on the house. What is it?! I definitely would not have paid a penny for a house that's not in my name. Why did she do that? Her own free will?

Interesting, why do they need to file separate returns? They are married.

adamlambert · ‎10-19-2016

no joint accounts??? Again, suspicious!!

I am still oxox · ‎03-09-2010

Wow as they say there's a s*ker born every minute, was his sole ownership of the home contingent on their marriage, was she so "in love" or desperate to agree to a set up like this. DH and I bought and apt before we were married and my folks "demanded" that we share the cost and we drew up paper work as what would happen if we split up

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.

millieshops · ‎03-09-2010

Fair and legal might be two different things - and without the exact wording of their agreement in front of us, anything we decide tells more about how we think than what can or should be done in this situation.

Almost the only thing I'm confident I know is that I wouldn't want to be in that relationship right now.