Dutch Treat Reception ??? - Page 15

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@sunshine45 wrote:
@RazorSharp wrote:
@NativeJax wrote:
Gosh, my brain is on fire...maybe a different thread should be started...I just remembered that last year my very younger cousin had an extremely lavish, expensive wedding in New Orleans. I felt it was tacky that they included a website to purchase things they wanted for their honeymoon. They went to Europe and the website had gifts listed in a variety of spending ranges but they actually had the hotel rooms listed for purchase, airline tickets, dinner reservations, and for her wedding shower they had very expensive items listed....knives for $3k, it was so over the top and oh yeah, they had bonus points added in their name if you ordered thru Macy's so they could get more gifts. I was mortified that not only was I spending money for travel, hotel and food that they asked for such over the top gifts. Anyways, apparently this is the new thing but I was in shock people putting things like that on a registry.
Two of my coworkers were married last year, and they used this type of website as well. I actually thought it was a fantastic idea, and much better than a standard gift registry. Instead of going to a website and buying them a popcorn maker, you could buy them breakfast, lunch, or dinner at various restaurants of their choice during their honeymoon in New Orleans, or pay for one of their hotel nights. I just find this much more personal and festive than buying a couple of champagne flutes or a clothes hamper.

@RazorSharp
i have some family and friends who did this also and i appreciated it! it made it easy to choose something that i know they could use. one couple went on a cruise.....you could buy them drinks, give them a tour in a city they were stopping in, a night at a club in town, taxi cab rides, a meal at a restaurant wherever they stopped, a night at the hotel before they departed......lots of choices. they both had so many things already for their home and really didnt "need" anything. i know some are put off by this, but i like it and have used the honeymoon registries.

I have no problem with that. I like to give the couple something that they want, and so this would certainly be fine with me, and it's much more fun than simply writing a check. If anyone doesn't like the idea, they don't have to go along with it. Registries (for china or gifts or honeymoon tours, etc) are always optional. No one is obligated to buy off a registry. It's a suggestion, just to let guests know what the couple would like. In many cases, I have found it to be enormously helpful.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@sunshine45 wrote:
@RazorSharp wrote:
@NativeJax wrote:
Gosh, my brain is on fire...maybe a different thread should be started...I just remembered that last year my very younger cousin had an extremely lavish, expensive wedding in New Orleans. I felt it was tacky that they included a website to purchase things they wanted for their honeymoon. They went to Europe and the website had gifts listed in a variety of spending ranges but they actually had the hotel rooms listed for purchase, airline tickets, dinner reservations, and for her wedding shower they had very expensive items listed....knives for $3k, it was so over the top and oh yeah, they had bonus points added in their name if you ordered thru Macy's so they could get more gifts. I was mortified that not only was I spending money for travel, hotel and food that they asked for such over the top gifts. Anyways, apparently this is the new thing but I was in shock people putting things like that on a registry.
Two of my coworkers were married last year, and they used this type of website as well. I actually thought it was a fantastic idea, and much better than a standard gift registry. Instead of going to a website and buying them a popcorn maker, you could buy them breakfast, lunch, or dinner at various restaurants of their choice during their honeymoon in New Orleans, or pay for one of their hotel nights. I just find this much more personal and festive than buying a couple of champagne flutes or a clothes hamper.

@RazorSharp
i have some family and friends who did this also and i appreciated it! it made it easy to choose something that i know they could use. one couple went on a cruise.....you could buy them drinks, give them a tour in a city they were stopping in, a night at a club in town, taxi cab rides, a meal at a restaurant wherever they stopped, a night at the hotel before they departed......lots of choices. they both had so many things already for their home and really didnt "need" anything. i know some are put off by this, but i like it and have used the honeymoon registries.

I think it's tacky. I never did registries etc. Requesting gifts and making guests pay for things is not cool.

RazorSharp · ‎02-20-2016

@missy1 wrote:
@sunshine45 wrote:
@RazorSharp wrote:
@NativeJax wrote:
Gosh, my brain is on fire...maybe a different thread should be started...I just remembered that last year my very younger cousin had an extremely lavish, expensive wedding in New Orleans. I felt it was tacky that they included a website to purchase things they wanted for their honeymoon. They went to Europe and the website had gifts listed in a variety of spending ranges but they actually had the hotel rooms listed for purchase, airline tickets, dinner reservations, and for her wedding shower they had very expensive items listed....knives for $3k, it was so over the top and oh yeah, they had bonus points added in their name if you ordered thru Macy's so they could get more gifts. I was mortified that not only was I spending money for travel, hotel and food that they asked for such over the top gifts. Anyways, apparently this is the new thing but I was in shock people putting things like that on a registry.
Two of my coworkers were married last year, and they used this type of website as well. I actually thought it was a fantastic idea, and much better than a standard gift registry. Instead of going to a website and buying them a popcorn maker, you could buy them breakfast, lunch, or dinner at various restaurants of their choice during their honeymoon in New Orleans, or pay for one of their hotel nights. I just find this much more personal and festive than buying a couple of champagne flutes or a clothes hamper.

@RazorSharp
i have some family and friends who did this also and i appreciated it! it made it easy to choose something that i know they could use. one couple went on a cruise.....you could buy them drinks, give them a tour in a city they were stopping in, a night at a club in town, taxi cab rides, a meal at a restaurant wherever they stopped, a night at the hotel before they departed......lots of choices. they both had so many things already for their home and really didnt "need" anything. i know some are put off by this, but i like it and have used the honeymoon registries.

I think it's tacky. I never did registries etc. Requesting gifts and making guests pay for things is not cool.

I think it's tacky to include wedding registry information in an invitation. I don't think it's tacky to include the webpage address of your wedding's website that includes photos, details, local information including restaurants and hotels for out of town guests, and yes, a link to your registry. I would never attend a wedding without providing a gift, and having a registry makes it so much easier than having to figure out what to buy someone. It also makes me feel weird writing a check to family members or friends. A good gift is something that someone not only wants, but needs. A registry is a helpful tool to help make sure that happens.

NativeJax · ‎01-27-2015

I like a registry just suppose I don't like over the top expensive items listed....I don't know why it bothers me it just does. I just remembered when I registered I tried to think of things I did need but I also tried to think about my guests as well. I did like the website link that provided tourist information for the wedding guest and being able to pick music, look at their photos and such. It still gets to me, those $3ooo knives lol

KALLIE · ‎02-17-2016

@151949 wrote:
I'm so sorry that you all think that sending out an announcement of a wedding is a gift grab and I can assure you it is the PROPER thing to do. I am also just as sure that the bride and groom would much rather not get a gift from you than to get one that was sent in a begrudging attitude. It is certainly much more proper than going in debt having a wedding you can't afford.

NOT everyone who has a wedding that you think is over-the-top goes into debt. Lots of people have the money to have a GREAT reception with open bar, sit down dinner, music, etc. instead of having the punch and cake reception in a fire hall.

Lila Belle · ‎01-24-2013

@151949 wrote:
@stevieb wrote:
See, this is what has happened... Weddings have become so over the top dog and pony shows because almost every little girl now thinks she' entitled to a 'Hollywood' wedding... And, almost every family who can, humors their little girl and over-spends on an 'event' that is much more than just a 'nice' wedding and reception. They've become big business, which has driven up prices for even those seeking a simple wedding and reception.

In the day, even a middle class family could usually afford a nice dress, flowers and a reasonable sit-down dinner or at least drinks and appetizers at a nice venue and still not break the bank. Unfortunately, the ante keeps getting upped... and now, weddings costing thousands and thousands of dollars have increasingly become the 'norm'...

Given that reality, I get the 'why bother' mentality and the choice not to 'compete'. But then unfortunately, added to all that... as what are considered to be acceptable standards of decorum and behavior continue to erode, you end up with 'dutch treat' wedding reception invitations... Whatever happened to the middle ground... or does a middle ground even still exist...?

Whatever...
I asked recently on another thread what ever happened to the nice reception at a fire hall with a catered buffet and a local band? Well, they laughed me out of town - apparently that is just not even to be considered anymore. Your just not properly married unless you have the whole horse and pony show.

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What is a fire hall reception? A fire department ?

KALLIE · ‎02-17-2016

@Lila Belle wrote:
@151949 wrote:
@stevieb wrote:
See, this is what has happened... Weddings have become so over the top dog and pony shows because almost every little girl now thinks she' entitled to a 'Hollywood' wedding... And, almost every family who can, humors their little girl and over-spends on an 'event' that is much more than just a 'nice' wedding and reception. They've become big business, which has driven up prices for even those seeking a simple wedding and reception.

In the day, even a middle class family could usually afford a nice dress, flowers and a reasonable sit-down dinner or at least drinks and appetizers at a nice venue and still not break the bank. Unfortunately, the ante keeps getting upped... and now, weddings costing thousands and thousands of dollars have increasingly become the 'norm'...

Given that reality, I get the 'why bother' mentality and the choice not to 'compete'. But then unfortunately, added to all that... as what are considered to be acceptable standards of decorum and behavior continue to erode, you end up with 'dutch treat' wedding reception invitations... Whatever happened to the middle ground... or does a middle ground even still exist...?

Whatever...
I asked recently on another thread what ever happened to the nice reception at a fire hall with a catered buffet and a local band? Well, they laughed me out of town - apparently that is just not even to be considered anymore. Your just not properly married unless you have the whole horse and pony show.
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What is a fire hall reception? A fire department ?

Who knows? Whatever it is, it sounds like a TACKY place to have a wedding reception.

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@KALLIE wrote:
@151949 wrote:
I'm so sorry that you all think that sending out an announcement of a wedding is a gift grab and I can assure you it is the PROPER thing to do. I am also just as sure that the bride and groom would much rather not get a gift from you than to get one that was sent in a begrudging attitude. It is certainly much more proper than going in debt having a wedding you can't afford.
NOT everyone who has a wedding that you think is over-the-top goes into debt. Lots of people have the money to have a GREAT reception with open bar, sit down dinner, music, etc. instead of having the punch and cake reception in a fire hall.

One of the few times I agree with you. Not everyone goes into debt for a wedding. Some people can afford it.

september · ‎03-09-2010

I don't think there are "fire halls" where I live. I've been to our local fire department many times (my husband was on the fire board), but there was no space for an event like a wedding...not even a very small one.