Community Chat

[151949]

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@RoughDraft wrote:

First there's a thread that's been going on for days about an under-supervised/ignored  5 year old being destructive and how parents should never let their chldren out of their sight.  Now we have the other side of the coin about  helicopter parents hovering and smothering their children's creativeness and ability to make decisions as they grow into adulthood.  

Parents and children can't seem to catch a break.  Where's a happy medium?

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Which just goes to show you that extremes of anything are usually bad.

[RoughDraft]

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@151949 wrote:

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@RoughDraft wrote:

First there's a thread that's been going on for days about an under-supervised/ignored  5 year old being destructive and how parents should never let their chldren out of their sight.  Now we have the other side of the coin about  helicopter parents hovering and smothering their children's creativeness and ability to make decisions as they grow into adulthood.  

Parents and children can't seem to catch a break.  Where's a happy medium?

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Which just goes to show you that extremes of anything are usually bad.

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@151949 When I spoke of a happy medium, I wasn't addressing child-rearing.  I was addressing the judgemental extremes some people make about people they know nothing about on a shopping forum.  So, in truth, the adage about extremes doesn't always hold water. Sorry about any misunderstanding.

[butterfly123]

@feline groovy

Thank you posting this informative article. 😊

[sissel]

If you solve all their problems then when they become in their 20's they quit jobs, quit college and have low self esteem. I know this because my friend was the hellicoper Mom and now dealing with it. Here are some words you haven't heard in awhile Time Out, Grounded, You failed cuz you didn't study not my fault. I used those words all the time. I was the meanest Mom ever and now my 29yr daughter thanks me. It's summer and fast food/mall have help wanted signs in windows Oh yeah these teens get up & get your min wage job so what, better than sitting playing video games all summer. You want to buy things work for it. Let them fall before they can walk. Don't get involved when they argue with their friends, let them figure it out on their own. It's life. I'm still learning. My husband read this new generation is called the "snowflakes" they are fragile and can melt anytime. LOL 

[RoughDraft]

I don't know many "snowflakes."  I have several relatives who might be considered helicoptor parents and often wondered if they were doing the right thing by hovering over their children.

Short synopsis:  Two own their own businesses.  Two are in graduate school, one working on a business law degree (who worked at the Q as a summer intern), one a nurse practitioner who is probably headed to medical school.  One has a full college scholarship.   

Guess I shouldn't have been concerned.  

[sissel]

yes maybe some make it, but a parent that hovers over every part of their child's life and never let's them fail to understand rejection is a part of life also. Learn to solve your problems and your parents can't be there at times to do it for you. When kids (not kids) in their late 20's living at home & no job or no desire to even look for a job makes me mad.I blame parents. Parents doing their homework and now at this age wonder why.That's what happened to my girlfriend. Maybe I don't understand. I do know as I get older my daughter is self efficent and is on her own, understands money, job & life at times hard & times fun. I feel so sad for my girlfriend that complains she wants her kids to move on & they won't. Also they have no friends, she hovered too much. She has even driven them to job interviews but quit the job after 3 weeks. She calls me & says what's wrong I have given them everything, I bite my tongue knowing there is your answer.

[CalminHeart]

There is a balance.  Too much control or not enough control will result in problems.  

There are also places that require more control and some places that require less.   Look at the kid who crawled up on a sculpture, broke it, and now the parents are on the hook for $130,000.  That kid's parents weren't even in the same room.  In a place like that, the parents needed to have more control.  

Parents aren't perfect but they have to let their kids have space and make some of their own decisions and deal with their emotions....but at each kid's age and development level.  

[esmeraldagooch]

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@lovesrecess wrote:

"Free-range parenting" seems to be the knee-jerk reaction to helicopter parenting....lazy-way-out parents, aka free-range parents,  allow their young kids to wander freely...to the park, the playground, along busy streets, etc. by themselves...now their are even some towns that have passed laws condoning this.....hope they know where their registered sex offenders are.....

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Right there talking to kids in the safety of their homes on their computers prertending to be friends.

[Hayfield]

Raising children is hard, it's part how we raise them and part luck.  I never hovered over my children, never did anything for them I felt they could do for themselves, like their homework!  Unfortunately, I think some parents self worth comes from how well their children did in school, finding a mate, a job, etc.  I personally got tired of hearing all the bragging and in the end their children didn't do any better or worse than mine. 

[Spurt]

I don't think the problem today is "hovering" at all....I think its more of a "pass the buck" and leaving the parenting to the schools, youth organizations, and the general public.....To me many of these kids seem more like an "inconvenince" to the parents and their parent's fun.....