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01-14-2018 08:10 PM
One can be knowledgeable and compassionate yet still believe that weight loss achieved in a healthful manner is a positive.
01-14-2018 08:35 PM
@CareBears, the way I look at it - when I know that someone’s intent is to hurt me, anger me, bait me, fool me, etc. it becomes easy for me to ignore them. If anyone is putting out actual effort to do this, it makes me smile that they are that desperate for/interested in making me feel somehow unworthy. Clearly anyone who does this has self-esteem issues and envies you in some way, so is trying to bring you down - but very clumsily/
01-14-2018 08:41 PM
My mother had a best friend since they were 18. Over the years, her friend gained weight. Her doctor chastised her for years, weighing her every appointment and berating her because she couldn’t “control herself”.
So she stopped going to her doctor for a long time. But then she got sicker and sicker. By the time my mom talked her into seeing a doctor, her friend was diagnosed with stage four cancer. My mom loved her, I loved her, she was like an Aunt to me.
The cancer didn’t kill her, the fat-shaming doctor killed her.
She wasn’t alone. A lot of overweight women just stop going to doctors when they feel shamed.
01-14-2018 08:50 PM - edited 01-14-2018 08:52 PM
Being fat ( over 100 pounds overweight) and had many friends large as well I am telling you all for a fact that shaming a person over weight makes things worse. You can not scare a person into weight loss. When you insult us it makes us want to eat even more.
Best way to help an overweight friend is to encourage healthy eating without being judgey. If you are a total stranger do not talk about the persons weight. Do not give unsolicited advice even if you have good intentions
Also remember no matter you weight we are people that deserve respect too. Also being fat does not mean you over eat it just means you over ate at one point. Many like me eat less as a normal sized person and can not drop the weight. It is because of our metabolism and the body fights to keep the weight. There is a good article on this on CNN do not remember what its called tho
Also sometimes a compliment is not a compliment. A girl at work said I look as if I lost weight whe I actually gained a lot. I was motified. I do not like being forced into this converstion with someone that is not my friend.
01-14-2018 08:55 PM
@Noel7 wrote:My mother had a best friend since they were 18. Over the years, her friend gained weight. Her doctor chastised her for years, weighing her every appointment and berating her because she couldn’t “control herself”.
So she stopped going to her doctor for a long time. But then she got sicker and sicker. By the time my mom talked her into seeing a doctor, her friend was diagnosed with stage four cancer. My mom loved her, I loved her, she was like an Aunt to me.
The cancer didn’t kill her, the fat-shaming doctor killed her.
She wasn’t alone. A lot of overweight women just stop going to doctors when they feel shamed.
I have the same issue. I stopped going to a doctor because of fat shaming. I finally had to go an dI found a doctor that was polite about it but I stopped going for I have not been able to loose the weight as directed
01-14-2018 09:08 PM
@kcladyz wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:My mother had a best friend since they were 18. Over the years, her friend gained weight. Her doctor chastised her for years, weighing her every appointment and berating her because she couldn’t “control herself”.
So she stopped going to her doctor for a long time. But then she got sicker and sicker. By the time my mom talked her into seeing a doctor, her friend was diagnosed with stage four cancer. My mom loved her, I loved her, she was like an Aunt to me.
The cancer didn’t kill her, the fat-shaming doctor killed her.
She wasn’t alone. A lot of overweight women just stop going to doctors when they feel shamed.
I have the same issue. I stopped going to a doctor because of fat shaming. I finally had to go an dI found a doctor that was polite about it but I stopped going for I have not been able to loose the weight as directed
Please don’t let that stop you. I understand your hesitancy. There must be a more aware physician nearby. Ask around, ask the nurses in the hospital you are affiliated with. You are important to people, you matter and your health matters. I hope you find someone intelligent enough to know better.
Best wishes to you! You have nothing to be ashamed about.
01-14-2018 09:21 PM
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