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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,398
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?


@stevieb wrote:

RIght or wrong, and I sincerely doubt this is a wake-up call for anybody, but by the times teens reach 18 or 19, and many of them far younger, experimentation, at the very least, with alcohol, drugs and intimacy is not the exception... And once again, this isn't new to the current younger generation by a long shot...


Truth...or older generation.  I had a very dear friend who ended up pg in high school so as a result put the thumb on her daughter and let her have zero life.  Her two brothers could do anything they wanted, but not the daughter, period.  Her mom didn't want her to end up in hs and pg.  I should add her mom married the dad, married to this day with three fabulous kids.  But the daughter ended up leaving home, couch hopping, and had two kids and never been married.  You can be too strict and she was.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,398
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?


@qbetzforreal wrote:

@Janet89 wrote:

@qbetzforreal, I think when he met her, he thought she was also in college. . . .  He says he's sworn off girls in HS now!


@Janet89- good for him


Again, at least in CA, it is not a defense to not know she was underage unfortunately.  Also unfortunately high school girls today look way older than when we were in high school IMO.   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 63,812
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

[ Edited ]

@Porcelain wrote:

@stevieb wrote:

RIght or wrong, and I sincerely doubt this is a wake-up call for anybody, but by the times teens reach 18 or 19, and many of them far younger, experimentation, at the very least, with alcohol, drugs and intimacy is not the exception... And once again, this isn't new to the current younger generation by a long shot...


Then why did you say this about the girl? Either experimentation is normal to you or it isn't.

 

"OP, as for the girl, she sounds like she's developing into quite a piece of work and that there'll be more trouble ahead for both her and her parents. She either has her parents snowed or they're only seeing what they want to see. I'd be well beyond glad that realtionship didn't last."


Because, based on the OP's posts about what appears to be her consistently dicey behavior, it sounds like at 17 she's gone a little beyond merely the experimentation stage... That's why... 

 

Incidentally, if the apparent need to bicker on the boards was a lower priority for some, I suspect most folks might have figured that out for themselves and not have felt compelled to ask the question... But whatever...

 

 


In my pantry with my cupcakes...
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Posts: 6,120
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?


@Wsmom wrote:

@stevieb wrote:

RIght or wrong, and I sincerely doubt this is a wake-up call for anybody, but by the times teens reach 18 or 19, and many of them far younger, experimentation, at the very least, with alcohol, drugs and intimacy is not the exception... And once again, this isn't new to the current younger generation by a long shot...


Truth...or older generation.  I had a very dear friend who ended up pg in high school so as a result put the thumb on her daughter and let her have zero life.  Her two brothers could do anything they wanted, but not the daughter, period.  Her mom didn't want her to end up in hs and pg.  I should add her mom married the dad, married to this day with three fabulous kids.  But the daughter ended up leaving home, couch hopping, and had two kids and never been married.  You can be too strict and she was.


 

 

 

 

 

My mom was born in 1935, and graduated from high school in 1953, and while in high school, she knew of girls who became pregnant.

 

 

So, sex while in high school is hardly a "new generation" thing, not that anybody said that it was .

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Contributor
Posts: 27
Registered: ‎04-21-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

@Wsmom , you're not kidding on girls looking older!  

 

My dear friend's son was accused by an underage girl.  She finally fessed up that she was lying, but it about ruined his life and their family business.  People they had known all their lives turned on them.

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,175
Registered: ‎08-01-2019

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

Maybe her parents don't know she's there? Maybe she's sneaking out or lying to them? The OP said she met the girl's mother once and the mother didn't seem the type to not have rules. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,398
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?


@Janet89 wrote:

@Wsmom , you're not kidding on girls looking older!  

 

My dear friend's son was accused by an underage girl.  She finally fessed up that she was lying, but it about ruined his life and their family business.  People they had known all their lives turned on them.

 

 


ohmygosh, @Janet89 .   That's awful.  I wanted to acknowledge I read this  and had a reaction, but didn't feel a "heart" was appropriage, iykwim. 

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Posts: 31,671
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

[ Edited ]

@Janet89 wrote:

I am a parent of a late-teen boy.  He is taking college courses, but lives at home.  He still has a curfew.  Many of his friends have either never had a curfew or, now that they're out of HS, don't have one.  He is very good about keeping curfew, and, actually now that he's out of HS, doesn't complain about it much.  If there is something special going on, we make arrangements ahead of time that he will be later than usual or he stays with friends.

 

He started seeing a HS girl last fall.  I felt she was a little young, and, was somewhat concerned that he had met her at a college party.  The (not serious) relationship ended after he had an accident that resulted in a broken leg.  She was present when the accident happened.  She pretty much dumped him a week after he got out of the hospital.  

 

She was at another college party about a month ago that he attended.  He basically said he was thankful she had moved on and showed me her "outfit" of a bra with see-through fishnet top that had been on Snapchat.  She had tried to talk to him, but, he said she was so drunk she wasn't making sense.  Btw, this girl just turned 17.

 

Is this the new normal?  Am I really lame thinking that teens should not stay out all night?  Of course, with the virus stiuation, these rules or lack of *should be changing for a while.  However, I really have not seen much change in the behavior of the teens or early 20s group in our community . . . . 


@Janet89 

 

Well it sounds like you and your husband have excellent parenting skills and have raised a fine young man..

 

Unfortunately, you can tell from those college kids that went on Spring Break and filled the beaches in Florida and Texas despite the CDC warnings about the virus -----they didnt care and were only concerned about having fun and partying and drinking....and some came down with the virus....

 

Sadly some teenagers and college kids dont have a strong family nucleus and basically raised themselves...or they feel entitled because their parents didnt wanna deal with them and let them have what ever they wanted....and social media's influence doesnt help either....And these same party hearty, all about me kids "dont grow out of it" either.....unfortuantely they carry that same attitude into the work place .......I know I work with them....and find most immature, and not very ambitious...they come in late, leave early....call in all the time...and seem more focused on when/where the next happy hour is than their work assignments....Woman Frustrated

 

I am thankful and proud of my niece and nephews and even my friends grandchildren that are responsible and mature young adults...

Animals are reliable, full of love, true in their affections, grateful. Difficult standards for people to live up to.”
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,228
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?


@Wsmom wrote:

@stevieb wrote:

RIght or wrong, and I sincerely doubt this is a wake-up call for anybody, but by the times teens reach 18 or 19, and many of them far younger, experimentation, at the very least, with alcohol, drugs and intimacy is not the exception... And once again, this isn't new to the current younger generation by a long shot...


Truth...or older generation.  I had a very dear friend who ended up pg in high school so as a result put the thumb on her daughter and let her have zero life.  Her two brothers could do anything they wanted, but not the daughter, period.  Her mom didn't want her to end up in hs and pg.  I should add her mom married the dad, married to this day with three fabulous kids.  But the daughter ended up leaving home, couch hopping, and had two kids and never been married.  You can be too strict and she was.


 

 

I have to respectfully disagree with your post that the girl got pregnant because her parents were too strict.

 

Many girls have strict parents & don't get pregnant.  I'm one of them and I'm far from alone.   I am an only child, I was outnumbered.   My parents were brutal when it came to discipline.    I not only didn't get pregnant, I graduated high school a virgin.  This was in 1971, the age of Aquarius, free love, drugs & rock & roll.

 

How did she get pregnant if she had "zero life"?   

 

Sometimes a child not allowed a life will get bored and make a life for themselves.

I don't post this to argue, just to give another POV

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,960
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Do parents of teens not require curfews and/or rules anymore?

I guess if he lives in your house, you can make the rules.

 

But if he were attending college and staying there, he wouldn't have a curfew.

 

Until what age will he have a curfew?