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Valued Contributor
Posts: 748
Registered: ‎07-26-2019

Re: Do You Remember When

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Not really...I was my mother's child but not stupid. My parents were divorced when I was an infant in the 50's. My mother provided food and clothing through high school, but if I wanted something she didn't think was necessary, I had to pay for it myself. I don't remember if and when I had an allowance. Probably not from my mother. My father most likely gave me some money before he passed away when I was 16. I earned money when I was small by collecting and returning soda bottles to the grocery store and doing chores around the house. As soon as it was legal, I started working part time while in high school. Christmas and birthdays were the only times when I got gifts. After all is said and done, I wish I could have had both my parents with me growing up, but that was not meant to be.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,522
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

@Spurt wrote:

I was taught to be responsible and the value of money and how hard it was to earn it, and what part I played in it as a member of the family....


@Spurt   Translated for the non-Italians, our 'allowance' was that you were allowed to continue to live in their house and breathe the air they pay for under their rules which included your free labor and household skills. 

 

We're not heating up the entire neighborhood and I don't care what anyone else does or doesn't do.  You live with us.  Have you tasted our food? You got complaints? Tell them to the priest in the confessional next Wednesday.  He'll tell you how lucky you are to even know the family.    Smiley Very Happy  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,471
Registered: ‎08-31-2019

I think I was 30, when I was 6. I was ridiculously responsible.  Redirect me once,  and whatever it was,  would never happen again. I was accused of being an old soul.  

 

So, I was a good kid, with no regrets for causing my parents problems.  I do find myself thinking of how it was such a simple time, compared to now.  Then I remind myself that it probably wasn't as 'simple' for them, as I may have thought.  

 

I think my parents generation was much more stoic, carrying worries closer than people do now. After all, they lacked the outlets we have today.  

 

We can't forget, that each generation has their own trials and struggles, while coping differently with changing times.  If I had a do-over, I'd encourage them to express feelings more openly.  

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Posts: 27,386
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

@Laura14 wrote:

@Spurt wrote:

I was taught to be responsible and the value of money and how hard it was to earn it, and what part I played in it as a member of the family....


@Spurt   Translated for the non-Italians, our 'allowance' was that you were allowed to continue to live in their house and breathe the air they pay for under their rules which included your free labor and household skills. 

 

We're not heating up the entire neighborhood and I don't care what anyone else does or doesn't do.  You live with us.  Have you tasted our food? You got complaints? Tell them to the priest in the confessional next Wednesday.  He'll tell you how lucky you are to even know the family.    Smiley Very Happy  


@Laura14 

 

That was absolutely PERFECT!!!!  Why we couldve lived in the same house....Woman Very Happy

Animals are reliable, full of love, true in their affections, grateful. Difficult standards for people to live up to.”
Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎07-15-2016

Our parents (four of us) were rather strict.   Bratty behavior wasn't tolerated.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,736
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

I remember being a young adult and not always making the right decisions, messing up some choices, but that is to be expected. 

 

What I never was lacking in regard for my parent's money or wisdom. I was like most teens, sometimes frustrated with them, but my growing up years were different than many. 

 

I grew up knowing my dad was sick and dying my whole young life. He was supposed to be dead by the time I was 7, but he lived until I turned 18. As he got progressively sicker, I had to take on more responsibility at home, as my mom worked after my father no longer could. 

 

I grew up quickly, but not in the way we think of kids doing today with doing bad or age inappropriate things too early. I had to help with the cooking, cleaning, outdoor work. I had to take some of the stress off my mom having to work full time and do everything at home too. 

 

I realized very early that life was fleeting, that long term chronic illness takes it's toll on a family, especially when there is no outside help (there just wasn't all the programs and stuff there is now, and what there might have been, we wouldn't have been able to afford. No family ever stepped up and helped either).

 

I just, for the most part, understood that they did and said what was in our best interest, that their lives were stressful enough, and me being a brat, a typical teen, and the drama that accompanies it, wasn't going to be in the best interest of anyone in the family. 

 

I started working for my own money at 12, babysitting and cleaning houses. I was working a 'real' part time job by 15. I used the money to buy my school clothes, and to have for social life things like football games and movies, so I didn't have to ask my parents. 

 

I just was able, early on, to see what need to be done, including not creating more stresses for my parents, and just did it willingly. 

 

Now if you want to talk about screwing up your 20's, that I can relate to!

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,750
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

My Dad spent lots of time following us around the house, turning off lights, or giving us the stink eye if we opened the fridge door and just stared for too long.  It was the late 70s so we had the energy crisis. (I remember going to fill up the car with him or my Mom - late 70s - we could only fill up on odd numbered or even numbered days based on our license plate).  I was little though so I didn't understand how expensive energy was, and how wasteful we were sometimes.  

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,119
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

I'm the OP, I don't want anyone to think I was a privileged spoiled brat. I grew up in a project, my mother didn't work, my father always had a job. My siblings and I didn't know we weren't well off, we lived in a rent controlled apartment, everyone was in the same boat. Being the youngest I was a little spoiled, I'll admit. For my birthday my grandma would give me $10 in a card, she could hardly afford it being on a fixed income, it was a lot of money to me. My siblings and I were good kids (my mother always said we were), we never got in trouble in school, I never did anything that would make my parents ashamed of me.