Do You Believe In Too Much Togetherness? - Page 7

bootsanne · ‎01-21-2011

@CrazyKittyLvr2 i'm going to get bashed, but my husband has been getting on my nerves greatly. He's 21 years older than me, been retired for 22 years with absolutely no hobbies. He's outlived all the guys he worked with and most of his cousins and family. So that leaves me. He's extremely hard of hearing--it's not his fault, it's the way people talk. So by the time I've repeated everything at least 3 times, I'm annoyed and he's mad because I'm yelling. We can't watch TV together because he has the volume on in the 70's --mine is under 10,

The last 2 years he's had numerous health issues but so have I, just not as severe. Plus I don't have the time to dwell on all my issues. Believe me, I'm not the easiest person to get along with, but to answer your original question, yes there is too much togetherness in this house.

Catiele · ‎08-20-2012

We have been married long enough that my husband just knows when I need to be alone. When he is doing something I also leave him alone. It works for us.

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

Well, my husband died in my arms suddenly after 38 years being married.

But we had a wonderful marriage. Now back to the OP's post.

It was good because we each had time apart. He owned several companies and could come and go when HE wanted to. That meant sometimes every other week he'd go down to one of our developments in Florida to check on the progress.

I enjoyed my time and he enjoyed his time. We'd have wonderful conversations on the phone while he was waiting for his flights or at night after working on the houses.

I remember when he first mentioned he was selling his computer company. It had grown very big and he was bored.

I joked that I was going to go to work at McDonald's. I'd quit when my first daughter was born many years ago.

Well, immediately he started several other companies. It was a win-win situation. He could travel when he wanted to and was with me when we had things to do.

It's too bad more marriages can't have that as it's great for a marriage.

My dear friend was over yesterday and she said, "My husband is driving me crazy with too much 'togetherness'. Ha! She has a lot of jobs too. She also has a lot of other interests and they go to a gym together.

They've been married for a long time and they'll work it out.

It's important to NOT feel guilty about wanting time alone.

I miss my husband so much (it's been 15 years now) but I have lots of good memories of us.

My advice would be to each have something that is just for each of you. Have an honest talk and let him know how you feel. Reassure him that it's not personal, you just need some alone time.

Again, you need to reassure him it's about YOU and you need some alone time. I think once he has HIS alone time he'll appreciate it.

Please come back and let us know how it's going. It will probably take patience though....on your part.

Bridgegal · ‎03-09-2010

@Free2be

LOL. My DH has his running away from sports on the TV room.

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

YES!!! Thankful for Monday, Wednesday, every other Tuesday or Thursday when he golfs mid day ... that's when I get the most accomplished while doing the 💃💃💃💃😉

and I find somewhere to go for a few hours everyday ...even if it's just to walk in the park, grab a cup of coffee or more -- I'd go crazy in the house all day. ( Not a daytime tv watcher like he is)

arrabella · ‎03-12-2010

You bet your life I do!!

arrabella · ‎03-12-2010

@Catty2 wrote:
The only ones I can never get enough togetherness with are my dog and cat.

AMEN SISTER!!!

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:
Today, you bet your life!!!!!

@CrazyKittyLvr2

??? Maybe I'm not understanding you ..... "too much" means an excessive amount, which is never a good thing, IMO.

If you're referring to couples, I don't think they should be together so much that they are practically joined at the hip.

So, no, too much is .... too much.

CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

My husband and I have been married almost 39 years, and love being together. We are both still working, so in the evenings we eat together, talk, watch a little TV(Separately because we like different things). We do things together on the weekends, but we also do things apart and have our own time....I don't like feeling smothered or feeling like I have to be with someone 24/7. I love having my own time to get together with friends, read, shop, etc.....Our neighbors 1st wife divorced him because he practically smothered her, and now he is remarried and doing the same thing with this wife.

They have no friends, she is from another country(he met her online), and he has finally allowed her to work parttime, but they do everything together. I told my husband he is going to scare this one away too, he is very insecure and needs to know every move she makes, but maybe this one likes that.

I have never been like that, we do a lot together, but we do a lot separately as well.......We do a lot of family time with our grown daughters and grandchildren on the weekends as well. I think everyone has to find their own comfort with this. Some people are more content being together all of the time and some are fine with less......No wrong or right way, just whatever works for you and yours!

crackster · ‎11-08-2012

My husband is 84, and I am pushing 83. We love spending every day together, because we realize how lucky we are to still have each other. We have two televisions, so often he will be watching Westerns on one, and I in the office, will be watching, old movies on TNT. We eat together, laugh together, and value each minute we share.Oh yes, we will be married 60 years in September!!