Community Chat

[shop till you drop]

I understand and it does hurt. When my friend's husband passed and she started dating again, she would and still does stand me up. We would make plans and then I wouldn't hear from her. We used to talk on the phone all the time and now she will text if her guy is there. So I have backed away and wait for her to contact me. You get to the point where you know it is time to move on and I feel too funny contacting her. So sorry this has happened to you.

[occasionalrain]

Before your friend moved away did she regularly phone you?

Does she seem happy to hear from you or is she anxious to get off the phone?

I've found that not everyone is motivated to make phone calls but are happy when friends call them.

[sweetpeatwo]

call her she lovrs you

[luvingit]

I have lost many friends that same way. I will never understand why friends are so disposable. Just move on and try not to be hurt. You are a good friend. I will go to my grave not understanding people.

[Bibione]

I am in the same position.A few days ago I found out that my favorite coworker has found another job.We were very close and had a lot in common.I was devasted and in shock for a couple of days.I even had to take a break because I cried.She promised that we will stay in touch and still go sometimes to lunch.She will be busy with a job,husband and many pets.Reading your comments helped me realize that, like I read in a book,some people are meant to be in our lives just for a short time.I enjoy my job,but I will not be as happy as I was when we worked together or walked to our cars at the end of the day.I feel at peace now and there is nothing I can do anyway.

[RedTop]

I totally agree with Yuban3's comments; she is spot on with the reasons why friendships change.

I think sometimes our expectations of others are just higher than what that person can deliver, when we want/need their attention. My best friend for life and I have known each other for 55 years, but she moved away from WV when she was 10. I was heart broken, and so was she, but we did stay in touch, and are extremely close to this day. She still lives out of the area, and comes back every summer for a family reunion, so I get to see her while she's here. We communicate by email an average of once a month.

My best friend from high school also lives out of the area, and while we do maintain contact, our friendship is very different. Her family lives close by and she visits them often, but she never calls or visits me. I email her often, and send written notes as well, but am lucky to get 3 emails and a phone call yearly. Our lifestyles and interests are very different, and I'm not even sure that we have much more than the high school connection in common these days. I realized that after I emailed her something about someone we knew from high school who rode the same bus with her for 4 years and lived close to her parents, and she couldn't remember who they were. When she made the comment as to how she's been gone from the area for 30 years, and has forgotten so much about the area and her former neighbors, it really made me think about how we change as adults. When we talk on the phone, we still giggle like 2 high school kids and interrupt each other constantly. She always makes a point of commenting on my emails, or my cards, so I know her desire to still be friends is as much there as it's always been, but I know I will always be the one who contacts her most often, and for me that's okay.

Wishing you peace with accepting the terms of your friendship.

[hsawaknow]

First I am sorry you are having to go thru this. Second I have been on both of these sides for various reasons. Sometimes it happens...

[MaxieMoo88]

Hi Funluvin, I'm going through the same thing with a friend of 20+ years she has become extremely self centered and I'm just tired of making the effort. It seems to be a theme these days....good friends care hard to find sorry you're having a hard time, but maybe just take a step back and move on. I have and I'm feeling less and less angst about it

[Firefly3]

I call this....Process of life!