Community Chat

[SeaMaiden]

---

@Shogirl wrote:

I never thought past getting married to my high school sweetheart and getting a job when I graduated from high school.  Here I am at the same company 43 years later but with a different husband!  I wouldn't trade the four times I've been married, but I do wish I'd met my current husband earlier in my life.  We've been married 14 years and he's the love of my life and my best friend.  As a result of being married so many times and not ever feeling comfortable having children, I missed out on that, but I'm OK with it.  I have two stepchildren and six grandkids to fill my life plenty!

---

@Shogirl    You did not miss out on anything.  You made a choice to be child free based on how you felt the demands of children would  affect your life and what you felt you could offer.  To CHOOSE to be child free is a beautiful thing, nothing to feel you missed out on.  Not every women is meant to be a birth Mother and as you mentioned you still became a Mother and a Grandmother to children  you love and they love you.   

[YorkieonmyPillow]

I don't recall expecting anything. After graduation I think I stayed in my PJs for 3 weeks....................

[LilacTree]

Not really.  I was brought up in the 50s when 80% of women were expected to marry right after high school.

I always wanted to be a wife and mother, but did not like the "wife" part. 

However, my life would be nothing without my children and grandchildren.  They are all that matters to me.

[missy1]

yes

[Trinity11]

Very much so. My expectations were pipe dreams and unrealistic. 

One dream did come true... I married a wonderful, caring man. For this I will be eternally grateful. 

[SilleeMee]

I did not expect to become disabled at the age of 46 and to lose the job I had dreamed of all of my life. Devastating, even now that I'm 62, and still disabled. I would still be working if I could. When I hear people complain about their jobs, I say count your blessings.

[jeanlake]

Enjoying your answers. My answer is both yes and no.

Fortunate to spin out of childhood dysfunction (young mother's death due to illness, alcoholic and PTSD dad, sibling died as baby and my parents were just sad people in general. Even though family had challenges, I was loved and my skilled and hard-working dad sent all kids to college, we had vehicles to drive and braces on our teeth, if needed. I don't want to get hung up on dad's personal struggles and failures and forget to mention he took care of us - in spite of it all.

I had more children than anticipated. Earned more degrees than anticipated. Had a more successful career than anticipated. Had a better marriage than anticipated. Happier than anticipated. 

Somewhere along the way I gained confidence, learned the value of gratitude and understood I needed to forgive people who harmed me. 

I am fortunate.    

[151949]

I've known several women who are now retirees who got married right out of high school, and are still married to him. I was absolutely, positively not mature enough right out of high school to be married. I was doubtful at 20 when I did marry, but I was in love so...

I have a cousin who never showed up at her high school graduation party the night of graduation, only to call her Mom later that she had eloped. He had given her a ring the night of their prom, but her parents were against it so she decided to go the elopement route. They are married 53 years have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Anyway , for those who took that huge step so young - Bless you. You are more adventursome than I am.

[qualitygal]

I too....was pointed in the direction of wife and mother after being a secretary.  That was what was proposed for me.  It was the times.

I also wanted to be either a nun or a ballerina.  What a laugh that is now for me.  Childhood wishes.  

I really had no expectations for my future.  I did ok.  

[fourpaws56]

When I was a little girl, I dreamt of living on a farm,having lot's of animals and a big garden.  My dream shattered at age six, when the person that I had looked up to the most violated me .By the time I was in High School I knew my life would be a mess,and it was. I had a failed attempted suicide (thank God) and three abusive marriages. Now at the age of 62 I am happy,well as much as I can be. I am happily divorced, I have a wonderful Son, DIL, and two beautiful Grand-children. Like I said, I feel lucky just to be here, did my life turn out like I had hoped for? No, but maybe on the other side....