Did you teach your children manners?

catmama · ‎01-07-2011

I am a woman in my 70s and my parents were adamant that we used common forms of courtesy. Thank you, please, you're welcome were the standards, but they also included May I? and we addressed adults as sir and madam or Mr., Miss or Mrs.

All of my peers had the same training.

I have noticed that most of the 20, 30 and possibly early 40 adults that I deal with in any situation rarely use these forms of courtesy. I can understand not addressing people as Miss or Mrs, but it drives me crazy that they can't say Thank you or You're welcome or Please.

So I was wondering that if any of the parents on this blog who have children in those age categories - did you teach them manners? And if not, why not and if so, do they use this words? My friends tell me that it's probably not the social norm any longer. And maybe I am old fashioned in that regard but I am very curious as to the responses I get.

KingstonMom · ‎05-20-2023

I'm from the deep South and manners were certainly required study.

Nightowlz · ‎03-11-2010

We were taught manners. We got our rear busted when we did something we were not supposed to do.

My dad used a belt or switch off the tree.

I got both a lot. LOL!!!

I had black & blue marks, welts on my back, arms & legs?

This was happening when I was a teenager when I stayed out all night. I finally told my dad he wasn't doing that to me ever again. It never did happen again.

Today this is called Child Abuse.

SloopJohnB · ‎04-25-2020

@catmama Mine are in their 30's & yes, they were taught manners. And besides the please & thank you's, etc, they will address a person by Sir or Ma'am or Miss if they don't know their names. If it is an elder to them & they know their names, they will address them as Mr or Mrs accordingly.

I would give everything I own just to have you back again.......David Gates of Bread

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

Oh yes.

I always hear from people how polite my children and grandchildren are.

I run a tight ship when it comes to manners and my adult children have done the same with their children.

Once my very young granddaugher, around age 5, had to walk in front of an adult women at a store. As she passed she said " excuse me."

The woman stopped her and asked why she excused herself, so she explained that it was impolite to walk in front of someone without excusing yourself.

The woman said " That's crazy". My granddaughter said, That's not crazy, it's good manners."

Good manners are always socially important.

I find it is not always just younger folks who have bad manners, older adults do too.

Neetgal2 · ‎02-12-2016

Yes, my DH and I taught my DD all the appropriate manners. She married a boy from the south, who was also taught manners. No clue on why they do not use them. Very disappointing to us. I am also in my 70's with a 41y/o.

DrakesMomma · ‎06-02-2010

I am 54 and my son is 23. I did teach him all those things, I frequently hear him use his manners but our world has changed.

Do I like it? No, no I do not. Not even a little. Now that he is an adult, I can't worry about it anymore. He knows what is right.

I always called my friend's mom Mrs. Butler. If her grands or great grands were around I would call her Mama so they would know who I was referring to. She asked me once why after all the time I had known her why I called her that. I explained that she never gave me permission to use her first name. She died two years ago and she will forever be Mrs. Butler for me.

PhilaLady1 · ‎03-11-2010

Hi, all. I find this interesting because I wonder if manner teaching is regional, cultural or from personal family experiences through generations. I don't remember any actual manners teaching by my parents and I did not specifically teach my son. For us, it has been teach by example and has been effective so far.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@catmama wrote:
I am a woman in my 70s and my parents were adamant that we used common forms of courtesy. Thank you, please, you're welcome were the standards, but they also included May I? and we addressed adults as sir and madam or Mr., Miss or Mrs.

All of my peers had the same training.

I have noticed that most of the 20, 30 and possibly early 40 adults that I deal with in any situation rarely use these forms of courtesy. I can understand not addressing people as Miss or Mrs, but it drives me crazy that they can't say Thank you or You're welcome or Please.

So I was wondering that if any of the parents on this blog who have children in those age categories - did you teach them manners? And if not, why not and if so, do they use this words? My friends tell me that it's probably not the social norm any longer. And maybe I am old fashioned in that regard but I am very curious as to the responses I get.

@catmama

ITA that children should address adults as Mr or Ms, but for other adults to do so, I think that's often just too formal.

Depends on the circumstances, of course, such as it's a personal or professional situation.

What also bothers me about kids being raised without learning manners is also how many young adults seem to have little idea as to how to dress appropriately.

JMO, of course.

luvmybeetle · ‎08-10-2013

I have a 56 and 48 year old and they were taught manners to everyone. I always told them you don't only respect elders but everyone no matter how old they are.

My son had an elderly lady that lived next to him in a condo. One day he helped her carry some things from her car and did some repairs on her garage. She said you have a wonderful mother. He responded with a question of huh? She said, because you are so kind and helpful and respectful.

That made me feel so proud.

I do find that many young people now do not have any manners or thoughtfulness. I learned by example not from being beaten and I feel so bad for those who have had to face that kind of discipline.