Describe This Please.... - Page 3

itiswhatitis · ‎05-27-2016

@cotton4me wrote:
As far as diagnosing people. I tend to look for reasons why someone might be the way there are. It’s just for me personally and I may be wrong, but I find it helpful in possibly understanding them. For instance, my old boss – saw a Larry King show about psychopathic bosses. A light come on, did research. He seemed to fit the profile. It helped me in learning how to deal with him. No harm, no foul.

@cotton4me This makes a lot of sense. This person is not a very good friend. She is someone I know who thinks "I want her company." I've given that benefit of the doubt on more than one ocassion. Telephone discussions have not yielded anything positive in my view of her. SHE WON'T GO AWAY. She may have some underlying issues (we all do) for our behavior, good, bad or otherwise. I'm not about to try to figure her out and stay with it for the long haul. It helps her over inflated ego.

*Call Tyrone*

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

So, if I understand the point of your OP, you met someone who you started to be friendly with, then discovered she had all these negative traits and you are no longer interested in having anything to do with her, but you don't know how to disengage?

It shouldn't be difficult to disengage. Just be unavailable, you're schedule is too busy, don't return phone calls, make use of caller ID.

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@itiswhatitis wrote:
@Cakers3 wrote:
@itiswhatitis I'm not sure what you are looking for. You already determined that this person has all the negative qualities you listed. Whether one needs to refer to her as a narcissist is not relevant.

It's a toxic situation and since you are trying to remove yourself from her company then there really isn't much else to do-unless you want to show her that list.

I find that diagnosing another individual without credentials is only what you see and you may not necessarily be right regarding all those negative qualities.

Only you can keep your distance; eventually she will move on to somebody who can supply what she needs.

I have some knowledge, though I don't consider myself credentialed. I am not. They are observations I've made concerning her behavior when in my presence. I don't need someone to agree that she is a narcissist (my opinion) @Cakers3.

As for her keeping her distance (she has not). That's part of the problem. It's like a game to her, almost (imo). I've tried the diplomatic approach, but maybe telling her straight out I don't like her and tell her why would be a good idea too.

@itiswhatitis I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply that you have no idea what you were saying. I simply don't care for labels.

It's all good.

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

@itiswhatitis

My granddog, Jasper, has modeled for a number of sayings. Here's what advice he gives you.

Avoid Negative People.jpg

Avoid Toxic People

3suwm5 · ‎06-15-2016

@itiswhatitis wrote:
@Marp wrote:
what you would call someone who is ...

Sister-in-law.
Oh my! You really are in a bind. Hard to detach from that family dynamic w/o causing strife @Marp.

@Marp, @itiswhatitis Unless your DH feels the same, that's what happened to me. All was settled in no time.

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

@itiswhatitis wrote:
@reiki604 wrote:
What difference does it make if she is a narcissist or not? If you no longer want to deal with her, leave the diagnosis to professionals and move on with your life unless you are looking for an excuse to dump her. In that case, you can call her whatever you want to justify your distancing yourself from her.
@reiki604, did you know there was all kinds of advice available to help people who love narcissists? That was just a simple way for me to describe her. Suppose I left narccist out? What would you think of a person with the traits I mentioned? Notwithstanding, the "title" was simply used for me to describe her and not diagnose her.

Ever heard of how people describe the greedy? Greedy would be their title and with that title there are a certain set of traits they hold.

It wouldn't matter what I thought of a person with those traits.............they simply wouldn't be in my life. Greedy is a trait not a diagnosis although I hesitate to assign those labels to someone. If I don't like the way a person behaves, they become irrelevant to my life regardless of their traits. We can never know what causes someone to behave the way they do. We can only control our own reactions and behaviors.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

3suwm5 · ‎06-15-2016

@itiswhatitis It does sound like someone I knew. I just made myself 'not available' all the time. Didn't take the calls, caller ID, etc., as someone else mentioned here.

It was a stressful situation, as I do not have a strong personality. Especially, to confront them face-to-face.

After that situation was handled, it made it easier for me to confront another person over the phone regarding her child and ours. I wrote down each item I wanted to discuss with her and that made it easier. Told her, she could handle their situation the way she chose, but the behavior was not acceptable to us and the childrens' relationship was over.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

My neighbor had a situation like that. She finally just came out and told the person she didn't have time for those kinds of relationships. I thought it took courage for her to do this ,as the person she parted ways with had been quite a good friend

This person was so demanding. She would just get mad at people, for almost no reason ,and expect you to drop what ever you were doing ,and take her places or give her things. She was foreign, and a differnt culture, so perhaps, that is the way she was raised to behave

It was a tough thing to do, but in the long run she was glad she did