Community Chat

[Tinkrbl44]

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@Allthingsgirly67 wrote:
Is it me that I wish they would list the cause of death? I know that families are entitled to their privacy but on the other hand it leaves us wondering. Just recently I saw a meteorologist on Friday and she checked in the hospital on Sunday and died. The news channel has been having quite a memorial for her for over a week with no cause of death mentioned. Yes I know I’m very curious. Also I’ve been stymied by the mention of he/she died “unexpectedly”. I don’t mean to be macabre or insensitive but I feel like I’m left hanging. Anyone else feel this way??

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@Allthingsgirly67 

When I first read your post I thought maybe it was a joke. 

Seriously, you must realize that the cause of death isn't always obvious.  Toxicology and other tests can take weeks or months for final outcomes.

Whether the person is in the public eye or not, NO ONE should ever speculate about cause of death before the investigation is complete. 

Wouldn't you want that for any of your family members?   Even if a person is in the public eye, you are not owed information that's none of your business. 

Families should always be allowed to disclose ONLY what they feel comfortable disclosing.  After all, some things really are private ... or should be.

[on the bay]

I wonder if obituaries are becoming less popular. When my mother died, my sister didn't want one for her. She said everyone who knew her would know and that was what was important. 

At first I thought, gosh I'd never heard of not having one but now I'm glad we didn't. Everyone who knew and loved her didn't need a public obit printed in a paper.

They are kind of like they want people to know but don't want people to know anything about how.

Anone who cares about that person I would think would want to know why. And if they don't want people to know, maybe a better idea is not to have an obit at all. 

[Allthingsgirly67]

As I stated numerous times I understand that it is the families right. I was only speculating from my point of view and if anyone else has felt this way. As @ trinity 11 has mentioned and I know what she was referring to as I live outside of nyc of a prominent meteorologist who’s very public passing and seems to be endlessly memorialized feels odd when no mention of cause of death. Yes we’ll aware that there tests involved and and the news may be forthcoming. However a little something would make sense to those of us who are now left to wondering what happened. Now I understand that there is a go-fund me page for the little girl, her and I guess her husband is included as well. Although both had very high paying jobs I don’t know why they have a go-fund me account. It’s sort of like donating to a cause or charity and not knowing why. Please don’t come at me because I was only e pressing a curiosity that others might share and from the posters some do.

[Allthingsgirly67]

Also to add it doesn’t have to be specific just a genarality. As been listed on many sites it was “sudden” but was it coronary, respiratory, or I think you know what I mean. That’s all.

[Sage04]

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@Magicrat wrote:

Died suddenly/unexpectedly are usually code words for suicide/drug deaths.

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@Magicrat  why would you think that? What about those who die of a heart attack? That's sudden.

[Cakers3]

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@Magicrat wrote:

Died suddenly/unexpectedly are usually code words for suicide/drug deaths.

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@Magicrat  Untrue.

[Sage04]

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@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:
Don't understand why anyone would feel they need to know that information or have any right to know.

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@Greeneyedlady21  some people are just so strange. Why wonder about how or why? I'm leaving this Thread alone.

Those who are saying drugs or suicide maybe they know family or someone close that this happened to. No one is thinking about heart attack or a vehicle accident. Why go there.

No more reading for me. Going to the Lisa Threads. This is just too morbid. I opened it even though I saw the Title.

[AuntG]

Of course it is the family's decision but I see the OP's point. Sometimes the words 'natural causes' are included in the obituary, which makes it clear it's not an overdose or suicide. Some of the most touching obituaries I've read are those in which the family is totally up front about a battle with drugs or mental illness. They literally beg anyone in need of treatment to get help so no other family has to feel the pain they are suffering.

[Carmie]

I have a family member who is a funeral director.

He always has the perfect answer if someone asks how a person died and the family wants privacy.

He just says " Their heart stopped beating."

[Cakers3]

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@Allthingsgirly67 wrote:
Yes that’s what I thought too. However with the stigma of suicide wouldn’t it be better if people stated why and address it. Then we can really tackle the unfortunate situation and prevent future suicides.

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@Allthingsgirly67  No it wouldn't be better. Just how would knowing a person's suicide help you to "tackle the situation"?

You were not involved with the person in real life so what would you do? Not we, you.

Curiosity is normal but you cannot say you understand the right to privacy and then say not knowing the cause makes people less empathetic.

Empathy is not gauged by knowing the cause of death. You either have empathy or you do not have it.

"Leaving you hanging" - how does not knowing affect your life? It doesn't.

A person has passed away leaving behind loved ones. Use your energy to offer a moment of silence for everyone and move on.

I agree it is not our business.