Community Chat

[Mersha]

Speaking of post count, I have been on the boards forever.  As I recall, when the "new" board made its initial appearance, most of the post counts were lost and a random number was issued to each poster.

Some were very upset that happened.  That discussion went on for days. 

[Oznell]

I remember some of that, @Regal Bee ,  and am so sorry you were targeted that way.  I hope your appearance here signals at least something of a sustained return-- your posts were so instructive, and so much fun.

I think it's healthy and can even be constructive to acknowledge that, forthrightly.  Some time back, I also experienced some personal attacks (not in the Home forum though), almost all by the same small group of posters.  Like most people, I'm capable of distinguishing between spirited but good faith disagreement (which can even be enjoyable),  and personal attacks that can be toxic.

At one point, I alluded to what I considered to be almost tantamount to 'cyber bullying' that was coming from this small group.  Most of the overt targeting quite quickly dropped off after that.  What remains is "manageable",  ha.  So, speaking up can be a healthy development, I believe, for anyone who has been targeted.

Hoping to see you around the forums often.       

[Junebug54]

@KKJ @Kachina624   I agree with both of you however, how many times do posters get slammed because it's their first post.   

[Porcelain]

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@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:

@Porcelain  There is a rule about insulting people, it's in the guidelines

• Personal attacks are not allowed - Don't attack or insult another Community member. It's not helpful and it doesn't make for a friendly place. This includes calling other members names. Disagreement is no excuse for poor manners and we will not allow frustration to turn into a personal attack.

There are "roundabout" ways that some people go about doing this.

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Some of them bury the attack in a bunch of relatively harmless paragraphs. It's like you read along and all is good for a bit, but there's always that little zinger in there somewhere. A mean little fish hook. And then a reasonable conclusion at the end like it never even happened.

[icezeus]

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@insomniac2 wrote:

I didn't read all the threads yet, but I agree that more could be said (and safely)!

I've been reading incessantly throughout the last year (thoroughly enjoying myself). I've also gotten addicted to various PBS series (Netflix is wonderful) and I record a couple judge shows ("Judge Judy" and "Hot Bench") every day. I also like to watch "Cheaters"  now and then.

I've been straightening up my possessions (lots of paper from classes I've taught, in addition to a great deal of music from my various pursuits). It's looking a lot better!

As I said, I have things to say. I suppose I'll do that. People can feel free to skip over my opinions, if necessary!

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@insomniac2 

Check us out on the Book Club  Forum.

[on the bay]

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@Kachina624 wrote:

@eadu4    I find that it often takes a great deal of will power to just state your viewpoint on a subject, then back off avoiding arguing.  Often, posters keep hammering their point until the thread becomes insulting and the mods have to remove it. Nobody changes anyone else's mind, so what's the point in arguing? 

@Kachina624 ,

I know this is true. Sometimes it is just too hard not to reply especially if someone is responding to me or anyone in a "baiting" snarky" blah blah blah whatever reply!

I don't like so many of the ways these forums have become either.

I read not in different forums but by recent posts so I kind of see a lot.

And I did report that 1 poster last night or whenever, who started off with slamming you. I hate when that happens. And with 1 post they are not likely to be a new poster of course. They only have one intention.I think in all the years I've only reported a few and that is when someone comes on a thread to be intentionally mean to someone particularly and it may have nothing to even do with the whole conversation.

I am surprised at how so many get away with mean yes personally mean posts but probably the mods are too busy or maybe sometimes don't even care.

The awful thing is I know I've said things I should have just walked away from and I sound like a person I don't want to be.

Sometimes I think it is good to ignore and other times, I think the only thing to do is respond and not be silent.

I try my best to stay away from certain posters now who seem to be so nice and caring but then the next minute to someone else they are not. But maybe many of us could be accused of that, me included. I guess it depends on the topic and how someone else is responding or attacking.

Oh this is tiresome. I'm tired of my post. Well, we carry on.

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[magicmoodz]

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@stevieb wrote:

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@magicmoodz wrote:

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@Kachina624 wrote:

@Tinkrbl44    I think the mods have become so busy with their CS duties, they don't have time to monitor threads that might take a turn so they just zap them "just in case". 

I know I'm tired of crafting a thoughtful reply to a new post that's not in violation of the rules only to discover that it's gone because it "might" become argumentative or whatever....

I also often wonder at what point a host gets pinged for being "unkind" to us?  That is the most likely scenario for unkindness. 

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@Kafchina624 

Great thread! I admit I spend very little time on the forums anymore. What once was a robust, informative and fun place to share has been replaced by heavy-handed moderation.

I doubt that any of us knows just exactly how busy the moderators are. I see every once in a while they will assist a poster, but don't most purchasers contact customer service with a problem?

The mods certainly don't have to justify their actions, but it would be nice to hear from them concerning this matter.

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@magicmoodz  While I don't think other posters reporting is a big part of the issue, I absolutely agree with your statements, above... What I also take issue with is the variability... Two posters can make very similar statements and one will stand while the other is deleted and it's hard not to suspect it isn't sometimes 'personal'... Moreover, sometimes a statement is removed but the moderator will 'own' the action and offer some sort of reason, but increasingly some don't bother, so there's really no accountability... Understandably the guidelines can't always be interpreted uniformly, but a little more consistency in their application and in the methodology employed for moderating might be appreciated...

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@stevieb 

I agree. I realize removal of posts/threads can be subjective, but actions or lack thereof often shows us a bias.

[Fresher]

@Annabellethecat66 I've just returned to reading these boards, and I'm honestly taken aback at the amount of negativity toward individual posts and posters.  I've become increasingly concerned about the intolerance we are all showing toward one another, not just here but on all the public forums.

I do think it's a legitimate question as to how much the negativity, and at times worse, affects people's desire to share part of themselves on these boards.  We are all collectively going through a lot of stress related to Covid.  I would hope we could be a bit more open to and tolerant of other people's points of view and life preferences.  

[proudlyfromNJ]

Of course I'll be told I'm wrong as usual. I think mods count on posters reporting posts. I don't believe they sit and read every post. I think they have other work. Some posters report and some don't and I don't believe the mods are biased. I also think this is why there is not always a reason posted. This is my opinion.