Community Chat

[QVCPhobe]

My neices rescued a kitten when it was 5 months old.  They got him nuetered and got him all the shots so he is an indoor cat.  Problem is that he, at 9 months is not at all cuddly.  He scratches and bites, not hard.  It seems that is the only way that he know how to "play".  A few nights ago during a visit, I held him on my shoulder to stroke him and he bit my ear and ran away.  I had the bite/scratch checked by the doctor and I am fine.  I guess my question is, will he grow out of this or will he always be a non cuddly cat for life.  There is no question that he cannot be around children at this point of his life.  what are some of your experiences?  We all have tried to stop the "biting" but he does not want to seem to respond.  Poor cat, he came to their home and stayed there until they took him in.  He is as cute as can be, but he is not loveable.

[jaxs mom]

It could be a few different things. 

He's young and has a lot of energy that needs an outlet. Cat play behavior is basically the same way that they stalk prey. They will stalk, attack and bite. If he doesn't have another cat to play with he will play with his humans. I'd get him some cat toys, like those round rings with the ball that they can swat around in a circle and chase and also a fishing pole type toy with a feather end ( one brand is called Da Bird). Play with him at least once a day until he's panting and tired, then feed him after. 

Also he needs a cat tree, if he doesn't have one. One of my cats takes out his pent up energy on the cat tree by attacking the poles and kicking them. 

Alternatively cats sometimes bite due to being over stimulated. Don't try and pet him when he's acting wild and crazy and don't pet him too long IE to the point he starts to bite and scratch.  

On the other hand, cats will sometimes gently bite you to show they love you, but they generally do this when they are calm and relaxed and they move slowly when they go to do it. 

Since he's a kitten he needs to learn that people don't have fur for extra protection and not to use him claws to climb up your legs or to grip your bare skin when he jumps up to you. I'e always found just saying ouch and putting the cat down works but it will take them a little while to stop permanantly. 

[Gram W]

Not all cats want to be held.  I have adapted feral cats for years, even had to teach them to eat as they were not weaned yet.   Cats are independent and they will let you know when they want attention.  I have 2 feral 2 year olds now that I got as kittens.  They play rough with each other but I do not allow it with me.  We play with toys never my hands.  Hands are for petting and getting food.   I have raised many kinds of animals and my family never allowed rough play as the animals naturally play rough with each other.  They have no idea when they hurt you.   Right now the cats favorite toy is a paper wad of grocery receipts.   They will catch and fetch for hours if I would.

If your furbaby was wild for the first 5 months of his life he probably has already developed his personality.  I would not expect him to change his personality to my liking especially after only 4 months.   As he ages he may mellow out but he may never become a lap cat.  The decision is his.  After 2 years my girl just started sitting beside me on the couch but still does not want to be held.  Her brother has shared the bed/couch from the beginning and he loves a massage.  Two totally different personalities but neither want to be cuddled or held.

[Sooner]

We had a cat that just had a mean streak.  He was friendly and we loved him, he would sleep in bed with me but he would just bite and scratch and didn't want to be held.  Even the neighborhood dogs avoided him.  He was super smart as well.  We loved him to pieces but I'll say he was "prickly." 

[straykatz]

Not all cats want to be held.  Most cats let you know when they want attention or held/petted.  My male tabby will bite if he gets excited or feels threatened in any manner....we have to approach him gently and talk softly to him so he doesn't get all jittery and want to bite...he is the most feral of the 3 adoptees we have.  He's been part of our family for over 10 years but has never reached the stage where he is relaxed and not on constant alert or looking for an escape route.  Obviously something traumatic happened to him before he was rescued and he never got over it.  He is safe in our home and we have given him lots of love and patience.....and when he wants a little attention, back scratch, chin rub, or brushing (he loves to be brushed) then he lets us know...he also very talkative....but he does not want to be picked up/held.  

[Jaspersmom]

I have been through this with a cat that was the runt of the litter.  Her brothers and sisters were mild, gentle lap cats.  Our Isabel was the cat from hell.  I always believed she was brain damaged.  We felt sorry for her and had her for twelve years until she passed from diabetes.  However, she was the most challenging cat we ever had and we've had many.  She could be sweet when she wanted to be and then turn on a dime.  She scratched both of us many times.  She bit me a few times.  Even vets had a hard time with her.  We dealt with her on her terms.  IF she wanted to be near us, we let her.  But if not, we didn't force the issue.  It's not easy having a cat like this, especially if you want a cuddly one.

I now have two ferals.  I got my most recent cat Lee Lee when she was six months old and she had to be socialized.  It took a lot of time, but she's come around.  You might want to read up on how to socialize a cat to be around humans.  Again, a lot of the behavior is on their terms.  Lee Lee will sleep on my lap, but SHE has to be the one that comes to me.  She no longer bites and thankfully, she never scratched me.  Most of the issues with cats like this are trust issues.  They have to know they are safe.  They can't be startled in any way or it undoes all you've worked up to.  If I am so fortunate to pick up Lee Lee, I hold her only for a few minutes, pet her under her neck and hold her close so she feels protected.  Then I put her down gently. 

As said by others, a lot of the behaviors such as biting and scratching are their natural inclination to be hunters.  If your cat lived outside for the first part of its life, it is probably set in its habits and so it will take time and patience to undo if you even can at this point.  Not too encouraging, but if you can accept the cat on its terms, you can all learn to live together.

[Lucky Charm]

I wonder if it has something wrong with it?  They say cats that are suffering with something will act agressively.  I think a visit to the vet for a checkup is a good idea.

[akaburtonfan]

If it was a stray they took in, it may have been born to a feral cat so was never socialized. Or it could be the cat isn't in to being social -- some are like that. Best thing to do is whatever the cat wants to do. 

[LilacTree]

I find that cats are naturally nocturnal and want to roam free outside.  In the 70s and 80s we "rescued" several cats and let them roam free and/or come into the house.  They were happy with that lifestyle and all lived very long lives.

I know that is not acceptable anymore, but some cats will be wild regardless of being kept inside.  Their urge to roam and be free will never leave them.  I call this particular cat "frustrated."

My beloved sister lived in the mountains of Sussex County, NJ.  Her husband was a veterinarian.  My sister kept many unwanted cats that were supposed to be "put down."  She let them roam outside and called them "barn cats" who mostly stayed in the barns with the horses.  But none of them were nasty.  They were lovely cats who had dreamy lives.

This is not to say I don't understand why, by far, most cats are kept indoors, and if he/she is a kitten when it comes to your home, he/she can be trained in that lifestyle and be happy as a clam.  My youngest daughter has three who were all rescued ferals.  However, we never see them because as soon as anyone other than my daughter appears, they run and hide.  She doesn't even like to talk on the phone because the cats hear her talking and think someone is there and will run and hide.  This is fine for her lifestyle.  

[hckynut]

@QVCPhobe

Many kittens are just like their counterparts in the canine family. Lots of energy and lots of curiosity, not all that is acceptable for an indoor only feline.

I have found over our many decades of bringing in outdoor, some that are/were feral, or semi-feral, need much more attention given to them in regards to "training" them. Some say cats cannot be trained, I say, if worked with when young they can become acceptable indoor pets.

Over the decades we have been owned by all variety and personality types of felines. Some love to cuddle while others want nothing to do with it. They might lie down or sit on your legs, but holding them is a no-no for them. Age made no difference, they never changed that characteristic.

There are many toys for kittens that one can use to burn off some of their energy, and that is never a bad thing. One of our felines, "Charlie", loved to be held or lay on top of me when I was working out and in a prone position. He also used to like to bite my nose. I made sure after I saw this was his habit, I kept him at least nose length from my face.

Nobody can say with 100% accuracy, that this kitten will ever completely get over this. But if someone is willing to spend the time playing/entertaining or distracting him while he is still a kitten, I believe the odds are good that he will find another way to show his affection(?).

Some dogs "play bite" and so do some cats.

hckynut(john)