Controversial and off topic threads.... - Page 4

SusieQ_2 · ‎03-27-2012

@Vickiv wrote:
Before we had moderators on this board it was a free for all. Bulling and plenty of cat fights! You felt like you were back in school. QVC created the threads for good thoughts not a boxing match! At least most of this stopped. So the ones that were doing all this left to find other boards and people to bully. I enjoy the posters on these threads and their insights on so many topics. I also learned some great information on products.

I've been posting here for quite a while, and reading here even longer, yet I can't remember a time when there were no moderators. My question is this--if the people who were bullying and fighting have left the board, and most of the fighting has stopped, why are there three threads on the first page that have been closed for comment? Today is no exception either as threads are closed here frequently. That doesn't happen because people are having conversations filled with kindness and respect.

I also enjoy the posters here and their insights on many topics, but the truth is the only thing that's changed is the frequency with which the moderators determine enough is enough.

MyGirlsMom · ‎03-09-2010

There are people in real life and on forums who like to spout opinions without proof, data, or substantiation. Then when you call them out on it, they resort to name calling, swearing and using epithets. Sometimes it makes one wonder how old some of these posters are. Crazy, isn't it?

Keep Your Face To The Sunshine and You Will Not See The Shadow

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

@MaggieMack wrote:
@SaRina wrote:
Here's a novel idea --

When a poster with something "nasty" to say comes in, do you all think you could simply ignore it? I know I can. Imagine if every person was able to ignore it. The thread would move on. But alas, egos do get in the way and people cannot control themselves to be silent. Try doing it next time someone presses your buttons. :-)
I do this often, not one of those who feels the need to have the last word. However, when a poster accuses me of misquoting a source or twists my words to suit their whim, I respond. Integrity, not ego, requires it.

I understand what you're saying, Maggie. However, even a false accusation can be passed by (or at least responded to with a lack of emotion/civility) -- with practice. All you need know is that you have integrity (after all, that's all that really matters, isn't it?) and put this place (i.e., just a forum) in perspective.

Suziepeach · ‎03-10-2010

@SaRina wrote:
Here's a novel idea --

When a poster with something "nasty" to say comes in, do you all think you could simply ignore it? I know I can. Imagine if every person was able to ignore it. The thread would move on. But alas, egos do get in the way and people cannot control themselves to be silent. Try doing it next time someone presses your buttons. :-)

***

@SaRina, I have to say your suggestion of simply ignoring it is much easier said than done. Have you had it happen to you yet? I have & to whom it may concern (I know you're watching and waiting to pounce on me) I am not trying to draw attention to myself or anything.. There are still people that can't wait to tear into someone and yes it can be very painful and personal.. If they'd re-add the ignore button that would be a huge plus.

Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

SusieQ - I think it's probably safe to assume that some of the folks to whom you refer aren't actually gone, but have come here with different IDs, for the express purpose of causing dissent. It is my belief that there are probably a very small number of people who use a number of IDs for this purpose.

Also, you have your garden variety folks who use their religion as a weapon against others, some of whom have new IDs now and some who have used the same IDs for a while now.

Gemspirit · ‎01-23-2015

I completely agree that there is a place for controversial topics. When the forums first changed they were proofing just about everyone who want a Q fanatic. Let's face it, something draws us all here. But it should be a place to feel safe to express ones opinion. It should also be a place where the bullies and night crawlers don't come out and berate anyone who doesn't think the same way.

This is a huge country with people from all walks of life. We should be able to "chat" without being made fun of where we live, what we do for work, etc.

Last week a lot of us needed to talk about France. That convo went off fairly well considering the range and depth of emotions we were all having. Politics, current events, religion should be discussed w/o some of us acting like two year olds!

What I cannot stand is people being told they're bashing a host if a wild or off colour behavior is noted! There used to be a forum called "the Q did what????" Obviously that's gone now. But it was a place for such discussions without the forum members being talked down to as being" unkind".

The company is making "Qlebrities" out of some of the hosts....they should have tough enough skin to take any criticism that comes down as a result.

There are issues we want to and need to talk about that go far beyond the hosts! There are some topics I would like to see added! ....as long as it's not complete disrespect (not observation of respect by a host!), or profane content...we should have freedom of speech.

Karnerblue · ‎03-18-2015

I don't find that comment true at all. I suppose the ones that think that way are the type that likes the controversy. There are particular posters who over and over and over again start a topic they know will become an issue. I label them instigators. Their sole objective for being here is for that reason.

"Never water yourself down just because someone can't handle you 100% proof."

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

Just last week I deleted my entire Face Book page. I posted my thoughts on some of the topics Americans are dealing with. They were my ideas, my thoughts and how I felt about things.

No bad(?) words were posted no real hateful words were posted just my ideas and thoughts.

Immediately I started getting postings from people I knew (though not close friends) who got really mean about it. Then I countered and suddenly something clicked in my head and said, "Enough".

I took off all of my wonderful pictures of my grandchildren, friends and family.

I have posted little blurbs on other people's FB by comments, just a few NICE words and thoughts.

It is impossible in today's atmosphere to voice one's opinion without being attacked by the same people who go through life being that way. We all know people like that (see them here).

I've actually been a member of this board way longer than the time QVC posted I have. I remember when things would get out of hand, but (I guess I'm liberal about it) I didn't think it was really bad, just people disagreeing.

That's the only way one can grow. You must read things you don't agree with or things you don't like in order to see another side of something.

Recently, I posted something and .....whoa! Can I just say people were turning my words inside and out and so on. That's OK too because it was what they think. There are people who if someone says the sky is blue they will always say, "No it's not".

How boring would this world be if we all agreed? I think some of our leaders have this problem. They only want people around them and advising them of what they think....we used to call them yes men.

We are all in trouble when our leaders only have yes men, just as we are all in trouble as humans if we can't see both sides of issues and life in general.

SaRina · ‎04-17-2015

@orangegarnet wrote:
@SaRina wrote:
Here's a novel idea --

When a poster with something "nasty" to say comes in, do you all think you could simply ignore it? I know I can. Imagine if every person was able to ignore it. The thread would move on. But alas, egos do get in the way and people cannot control themselves to be silent. Try doing it next time someone presses your buttons. :-)
***
@SaRina, I have to say your suggestion of simply ignoring it is much easier said than done. Have you had it happen to you yet? I have & to whom it may concern (I know you're watching and waiting to pounce on me) I am not trying to draw attention to myself or anything.. There are still people that can't wait to tear into someone and yes it can be very painful and personal.. If they'd re-add the ignore button that would be a huge plus.

Absolutely, I have had it happen to me. More times than I can count, lol. I have walked away without needing to have the last word and without needing to RE-prove my point once it was made the first time. Walking away can be very empowering.

When I said in another post to keep things in perspective, I meant that we are chatting with anonymous people and while it's interesting to hear others' opinions, do these anons really mean so much to "you" to cause a painful and personal reaction? That's what "pressing buttons" is all about, but it's up to the individual (and their ego) to examine why a remark from an anonymous person hurts them so, then find a way to rise above it. It does take work.

ETA: ....not to mention...having compassion for the person who must bash or berate because they surely have their own issues. :-)