Controlling men?

mima · ‎03-14-2010

If you have ever been in a relationship with a controlling man, what do you think made them controlling?

This does not have anything to do with my relationship, however my grandson is showing signs of being this way with his young girlfriend. I hate this. I wonder what makes them this way.

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

Can't really say what causes a young man to be controlling unless he grew up with a controlling parent?

Just getting out of a relationship where he had been the boss on his job and I think it was just stuck in his brain because he liked it. Does wonders for the ego but not the confidence! Hope your grandson changes and I wish him the best in a relationship!

Pearlee · ‎06-11-2011

Cause? IMO insecurity about himself.

scatcat · ‎03-15-2010

Insecurity and fear. If his girlfriend has half a brain, she will run

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

IMO - someone can only control someone else as far as that person allows it. When someone attempts to control you then it is up to you to say NO. I think any person( man or woman) who can get away with controlling another person will probably do so. My DH does try to be controlling but I just, for the most part, ignore him or push back and he may or may not back off. There have been times when he is worse than usual. I let him have his little insignificant victories but I have no problem standing up to him on the bigger things.Controlling people usually back down when stood up to.

brii · ‎06-20-2010

It's a personality disorder.

Men and women who are controlling have some sort of inner disharmony. they are not able to control themselves internally, so they do to control things externally (around them).

Sometimes it comes from a place of wanting to protect someone. Not always.

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

part if it is learned behavior (childhood) insecurity is a big big factor - drives it. the need to be right and the need to call the shots. low self-esteem. they may bluster and boast but it is a cover for an emptiness. from my own experience, ymmv

sidsmom · ‎11-25-2011

-) Insecurity

and, ummmm

-) Insecurity

Controlling people feel they lack power. They will take their insecure emotions & place them on someone else. The recipient will most like be upset, etc. (understandably) and the controller will feed off the recipient's emotion. That's what gives the controller power. If the recipient is smart, they will remove this person from their life.

As as for the cause of the insecurity? Could be any number of things. Financial issues, image issues, social issues, abuse....anything could be a trigger.

Puzzle Piece · ‎06-29-2010

@151949 Not always. You can say NO, warn them to go away and stay away and they still don't listen. Stalkers are this way and so are obsessed individuals. I know, it's happened to me. There's those that even murder the other person for not wanting them in their lives.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
@151949 Not always. You can say NO, warn them to go away and stay away and they still don't listen. Stalkers are this way and so are obsessed individuals. I know, it's happened to me. There's those that even murder the other person for not wanting them in their lives.

I think this is an extreme you are describing here.