Community Chat

[151949]

You run across people like this in every aspect of life - at work, on committees , socially - everywhere.You have to be able to stand up for yourself. They aren't just spousal situations and they aren't just men.

[raven-blackbird]

---

@mima wrote:

If you have ever been in a relationship with a controlling man, what do you think made them controlling?

This does not have anything to do with my relationship, however my grandson is showing signs of being this way with his young girlfriend.  I hate this.  I wonder what makes them this way.

---

1. insecurity

2. low self esteem

3. immaturity

[RetRN]

When a woman says she has to ignore him or push back she is also insecure. Strong, intelligent women don't put up with that type of behavior. It is so important for women to be able to take care of themselves.

[Moonchilde]

---

@151949 wrote:

You run across people like this in every aspect of life - at work, on committees , socially - everywhere.You have to be able to stand up for yourself. They aren't just spousal situations and they aren't just men.

---

Bingo.

[newziesuzie]

---

@brii wrote:

It's a personality disorder.

Men and women who are controlling have some sort of inner disharmony.  they are not able to control themselves internally, so they do to control things externally (around them).

Sometimes it comes from a place of wanting to protect someone.  Not always.

---

Great post @brii.

Also they're narcissists and usually "right fighters".

is about them, boasting about what they do.

Everything is "about them."

Always needing to try to be the center of attention

to feel "important". And they feel good and

satisfied when they belittle other people.

But they don't see themselves for what they are.

😔

[Zhills]

A controlling coworker hardly compares to a controlling spouse!  

Yes, they both try to control but in totally different ways!

[Allegheny]

I don't know, wish I had the answer.  My husband and brother have tendencies like this at times.  I can't tell you the number of occasions I've just walked away from both of them when they start their ******.  It just erodes the relationship slowly.  I love them both dearly but won't put up with this nonsense.

I am at an age now where I have my own ways of dealing with it, but if this was going on when I was in my twenties or thirties I wouldn't have stayed in such a relationship.  

[newziesuzie]

---

@Zhills wrote:

A controlling coworker hardly compares to a controlling spouse!  

Yes, they both try to control but in totally different ways!

---

I disagree @Zhills. It's the same personality disorder

whether they're in the family or at work, or even 

in social settings or social media as well.

Men and women.

Overused word but a bully is a bully.

😒

[brii]

I could never handle a controlling spouse.

I walked away from a relationship in my 20s because of his controlling nature. 

It makes for a very exhausting existence.

[Zhills]

True, it's the same personality disorder, but a coworker can't hurt me the way my spouse could!  

Coworkers try to control your thoughts and actions; a spouse tries with emotions!