Community Chat

[Moonchilde]

I have a FB friend (who I don't know "in person") who is cheerful, funny, kind and supportive, and a great mom. Last I heard she was in a long-term happy relationship. She continually (once a week, sometimes 2-3 times a week) posts posed semi-glam selfies. People tell her they are great pics, she's beautiful, etc - and these are people who DO know her in person. I always "Liked" these photos and made an occasional "great pic" comment, until it became noticeably constant. I wonder what those who know her think about this, whether they are weary of it too. And I wonder - OTHER than too much self-appreciation/narcissism re: looks, why someone would do this to the extent she is doing it. Any thoughts?

She is not a teen, but the mom of one, so past the pouty-selfie-a-minute age, one would think. I like her. I just wonder WHY? Any thoughts as to why someone might do this other than the obvious? It seems out of character for the person I have known online. Yes I can Unfriend her. Yes I can "ignore it." I don't want to Unfriend her, I like her. But this behavior both puzzles and, yes, annoys me.

[jackthebear]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I have a FB friend (who I don't know "in person") who is cheerful, funny, kind and supportive, and a great mom. Last I heard she was in a long-term happy relationship. She continually (once a week, sometimes 2-3 times a week) posts posed semi-glam selfies. People tell her they are great pics, she's beautiful, etc - and these are people who DO know her in person. I always "Liked" these photos and made an occasional "great pic" comment, until it became noticeably constant. I wonder what those who know her think about this, whether they are weary of it too. And I wonder - OTHER than too much self-appreciation/narcissism re: looks, why someone would do this to the extent she is doing it. Any thoughts?

She is not a teen, but the mom of one, so past the pouty-selfie-a-minute age, one would think. I like her. I just wonder WHY? Any thoughts as to why someone might do this other than the obvious? It seems out of character for the person I have known online. Yes I can Unfriend her. Yes I can "ignore it." I don't want to Unfriend her, I like her. But this behavior both puzzles and, yes, annoys me.

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probably the same reason my friends are posting their opinions of their politics because they can, and yes it annoys me, so I hide their feeds. 

use the hide this on her posts.

please don't make this political, just using this as a an example of annoying stuff,

[cherry]

It seems she is vain and shallow to me

[chickenbutt]

I think some people might just need that constant verification and adoration.   Why else would some people be so incessant with this sort of vanity-based behavior? (rhetorical)

[BootLvr]

I don't have an answer as to "why," but I see it all the time on FB.  My DH's niece .. early 30's, single, not bad looking .. has to post about everything she eats, everywhere she goes, etc., and of course she has to be in every picture.  She posts pics of herself doing yoga, and once even had someone take semi-nude shots of her lying on the bed, and put them on FB!  (Her mom and dad are among her 'Friends'!)

IMO, they're attention-wh*res.  Once in a while everyone posts pics of themselves and that's fine.  But these over-the-top, aren't-I-amazing? shots are an obvious grab for compliments, which I refuse to give any more.  I find myself using the "Hide this Post" option a lot more than I used to.

[Moonchilde]

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@cherry wrote:

It seems she is vain and shallow to me

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That's what it appears, as far as the multiple photos, but she's certainly not shallow, if she is vain. It just seems weird to me because she *isn't* shallow or flighty or uninvolved in the world.

[Stormygirl]

@Moonchilde I too have a few friends on Face Book....do know them in person too. One of them, a Mom of Two constantly posts pics of herself with those "kissy lips" (what up with that?) I think is a wee bit narcissistic. I have studied some of it (am not done by a longshot) but it seems that behavior and needing constant positive affirmating comments on her looks may be hiding some deep shame? Read a leading physchologist study on narcissm as a way of hiding doubt and shame. The selfy once in awhile is ok but the constant ones, especially with the pouty kissy lips is annoying. What did I do? I posted on my own page "Whats up with the constant pouty lip selfies today?" That took care of it as "the shoe fits, weaer it" must have applied LOLOL I have never taken a selfie ever LOL might scare my selfie LOLOL. Now at K-Mart and other stores they are selling "Selfie sticks" to get that perfect shot. Just as long as that person you mention doesnt participate in the latest craze....called emmmm (crotchie) Yea i know....horrible. Seems we live in a "Selfie society" and I am NOT handing out selfie sticks for the holidays LOL

[Moonchilde]

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@chickenbutt wrote:

I think some people might just need that constant verification and adoration.   Why else would some people be so incessant with this sort of vanity-based behavior? (rhetorical)

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Really beats the heck outta me. OTOH she used to post equally constantly about long-term bf and she isn't doing that, so maaaybe they broke up and ... or she's feeling underappreciated?

[Moonchilde]

@BootLvr, I am getting tempted to hide the daily photo shoot posts. I did give compliments early on, but there's a line between occasional and fun, and obsessive.

[jaxs mom]

The obvious answer is because she wants to. She probably likes fashion and makeup. I don't see anything wrong with that, and being a mother or over the age of 30 doesn't change anything. It's her Facebook page where she gets to do and say what she wants to and doesn't owe anyone an explanation as to why. I also don't consider 1-3 times a week constant.