Re: Company - Staying Over - Page 5

Big Joanie · ‎01-02-2015

No snarky comments from this 74 year old ....

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

That would drive me crazy. He shouldn't have the expectation he can use your home as a hotel. Tell him you're not up to having houseguests next time. He'll keep doing it otherwise

RainyDayGal · ‎03-09-2010

He visits often and stays awhile. And you aren't even close! Basically you are his free vacation resort. Nope! No way would I put up with that, tell him to find other accommodations.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

NEVER.

Gorgf · ‎03-10-2010

I think if I enjoyed the family member or friend it wouldn't matter. People around me often live on the Lake and are busy with relatives and friends. I don't live on a lake and have no family.

I dated a man and I enjoyed his sons, friends and family. One had a rock band and he and three guys stayed over night. We woke up to pizza boxes and beer glasses in the kitchen. It wasnt that bad. It was an old two story home with three bathrooms. two showers. He would grimice. I said I will clean up, no big deal

This man I dated was fussy. I put my hand bag on a bench by the door and he asked me to move it as he puts his shoes on there and has to sit there. I guess a kitchen chair would not work? After the Grandkids leave he goes around the house and straightens his Nick Nacks that are out of place. I swear they did little things to irritate him on purpose. He found one of his collector beer glasses under the bed. He went nuts looking for it.

jellyBEAN · ‎04-03-2010

I thank everyone for replying to my venting about my family member. I do think one reason I haven't put my foot down is that if ever I faced a catastrophe or a sudden unexpected turn of events, I could count on him as a person and place to turn to. He is my only living relative and all the family I have left.

When I speak to him on the phone he always tells me he's bored and he doesn't seem to mind driving 10-12 hours to get to where I live. I think its crazy, but I find comfort in having my feelings of frequent stay-overs validated by most of you. I think I would prefer contact via Facetime or something like that - it would be enough for me. He really should get a pet - that would take up most of his time!

Flowers are nature's way of laughing

sabatini · ‎06-29-2015

Hi, @jellyBEAN. You know, when I read your post I checked the date. Was this a resurrected thread? But no, it was new.

I think you've written about this situation with your brother before?

Back when I read about his visits, I felt sorry for you, & feel even sorrier now. You've been hosting him for quite a long while, & you sound like such a nice person,

I disagree with those who say that you're allowing him to take advantage of you. You're only trying to be kind.

However, I think his visits have run their course. They've been going on for a long time now, and you've done your best.

Perhaps it's time for a phone call. Just level with him. Say that you're not as young as you once were, and it's hard for you to have company.

Maybe suggest a yearly visit, just to keep in touch. Say it with kindness.

A priest once said to me "Jesus Christ did not put you on this earth to be anyone's doormat."

Good luck to you, and God bless.

Muddling through...

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

@Sooner wrote:
I hate staying with people more than I hate people staying with us.

I hear that! It's a close race for me, as I detest both also.

When I visited my father and his wife I swore I'd never stay at anybody's house again. It was awful plus it didn't help that she kept the house at 78-80 degrees 24/7 and she used Tide so, between the heat and the smell of the detergent, I felt sick the whole time.

Even beyond that, though, I really don't want to stay at anybody's house. It's just a weird, uncomfortable, feeling for me.

Fortunately, I don't have any family (aside from my father across the country), so I don't have to worry about that. If I had to, I'd be glad to put somebody up in a hotel but, TBH, I don't invite people here so there should be no reason for anybody to show up here.

jellyBEAN · ‎04-03-2010

@sabatiniYes - you have a good memory!! I've written about this before, but it was quite some time ago. I got away with only 1 visit last year because of COVID but with 2021 I don't want to return to the 3 or 4 yearly visits.

Flowers are nature's way of laughing

LizzieInSRQ · ‎12-27-2010

@jellyBEAN wrote:
How does everyone feel about having company staying over at their home for several days? I look forward to company, but I also look forward to them leaving so I can get back to my normal routine.

I have a family member who comes and visits quite often. He's gone thru a rough patch and came down to stay with me for several days. His habits and interests are the opposite of mine. He doesn't say much, expects meals, goes to bed at 8pm and is up at 4am roaming around the house. I don't know, I love my family member but its a lot of work for me. I also know we won't be around that much longer so I try and go with the flow.

How does everyone else feel? We were never close growing up, so he's not someone I'm extremely close to even if he is family. Always seems my house is a wreck in some way when he leaves and I spend the entire day fixing things and washing things and cleaning things and straightening up. I'm guessing this is a normal way for some people to feel when they are used to being by themselves.

I live in sort of a vacation spot area and thats why he decides to come here often. I don't think its for my company, I think its just because he's bored.

The fact that you have company and however you feel about it is 100% your own doing the 2nd time. Your fault. Allow it and don't complain or don't allow it.