Community Chat

[donovan]

(I see what you did there)

[Gooday]

We are attending the wedding of my former boss's daughter. It is in a hotel in downtown Chicago. The bride and groom have excellent jobs. They are not paying for their wedding, dad is. Two other couples from the office are invited and well all said were going to give $200.00 as our gift. Our rule of thumb is; if it's had a nice reception hall with a sit down dinner, then $200.00 is our gift.

[scotttie]

On 5/21/2014 donovan said:

(I see what you did there)

tee hee

[Lion]

I agree about giving what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with.

I disagree with the idea that you have to cover your meal cost. You're being invited as a guest and guests should never be expected to pay for the own meal.

If you can afford to and want to give add'l gift $$ to help pay for the meal, that's fine, but it shouldn't be expected.

If the wedding couple cannot afford to pay for their guests' meals then they should either cut the guest list or choose less expensive meals.

IMO.

[KJPA]

Interesting thread especially since I have a child getting married next year. Funny thing is, if a couple is having a very expensive Wedding/Reception they probably don't need as much help but the couple having a modest one due to their financial situation may have a much greater need. And I thought wedding gifts were to help the new couple get off to a good start.

As has been discussed on other threads weddings and receptions used to be much more simple, like cake and punch in the church basement. And they still received gifts. Now they choose to have lavish events and can't possibly expect all guests to keep up with that level of expense.

I say give what you feel comfortable with but keep in mind the fun evening/day you are going to have. Perhaps you can give an amount equal to what you would be willing to spend for a nice evening (dinner and entertainment) plus a "gift." Can't go wrong with that

ETA: I don't mean that as a hard and fast rule but as a way to gauge what you think is appropriate. If I would typically spend $75 on a nice evening at dinner and a movie then I would give at least $75 + $100 gift. In other circumstances, depending on income and geography I might give $25 + $50 or $200 + $200. You know your own circumstances and what is comfortable for you.

[brewhaha]

I woud give him a $50 gift card.

[soxfan]

On 5/21/2014 gidgetgoeshawaiian said:

On 5/21/2014 scotttie said:

Are you attending the reception? That makes a difference. You want to be sure to cover the cost of your meal plus.

I think that there are suggestions on google for this. I remember reading one time what the parameters were but I can't remember.

Ya know.... until I read this here a few years ago I had never heard of having your wedding gift cover the cost of your meal. Never. How in the heck are you supposed to know the cost of your meal? Call and ask them? Scottie- not giving you a hard time at all- just using your post as I've heard that a lot here.

I've always just gotten something off the registry and have sprung for a higher priced item if it's someone close to me.

In this case, if you're sending money instead of a gift, I'd send $50 I guess.

I would think that if you know where the reception was being held, you would have a general idea of the price per plate. Knights of Columbus Hall versus a 4 star hotel.

eta by me: scottie, I have heard this before but I don't remember where.

BTW, I like Dr. Carson too! (post was closed before I could respond last night-go figure!)

[RainyDayGal]

On 5/21/2014 scotttie said:

Are you attending the reception? That makes a difference. You want to be sure to cover the cost of your meal plus.

I think that there are suggestions on google for this. I remember reading one time what the parameters were but I can't remember.

That's not true. Guests are not expected to cover the cost of the meal!

[scotttie]

Thanks Soxfan!

[MickD]

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