Community Chat

[Emma bunting]

On 5/23/2014 Photo Donna said:

On 5/23/2014 LipstickDiva said:

My relative got married last year and his reception was at a country club. It was a sit down dinner and the food was fantastic. Most of the weddings I have been to had buffet type food and this is usually pretty mediocre.

Just because one has a very lavish wedding doesn't mean they cannot afford it either. His was the most lavish I had been to but no one went into debt for it. The bride's parents paid for a portion, the groom's mom paid for a portion and the groom himself paid for a portion of it. Just because you have a cheap wedding doesn't mean it won't end in divorce either.

There are a lot of things done with weddings that I think are ridiculous but I'm not the one paying so it's not really my concern.

I know some who go big can afford it. A friend recently had two kids married within months -- they paid (a lot) but they can easily afford it. One of the receptions was held at the Swan Coach House in Atlanta (where Phaedra had some party on RHOA and it was used in the last Hunger Games movie). The other wedding was at Fernbank -- (Cynthia had her wedding here on RHOA).

Others we know have kids with huge college loans, etc. and yet you would think it was a royal wedding or something. There is pressure on people to go big.

People can do what the want -- obviously, but it is silly to be so big with it -- and then to expect bigtime gifts.

We went to one in an old barn with a wonderful buffet catered by a local African American church -- fried chicken and all the sides. Not a big crowd -- but an awesome time and great fun. I think it was the best wedding we have attended.

I think maybe you are the one putting pressure on yourself to get a "big time" gift just because the wedding is a lavish one. Personally, I don't know anyone who links the amount they spend on a gift to what the wedding costs. Now THAT would be silly. Whether it's a backyard barbecue or a sit down dinner at the Ritz, my gift to the happy couple would be the exact same. As I believe it should be.

[missy1]

On 5/23/2014 Emma bunting said:

We had 150 people at our wedding.......and the food was not "mediocre at best". It was superb. These kinds of blanket statements just make me shake my head sometimes. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I don't believe most people have weddings just to get large cash gifts. I think they have them to celebrate the most important day in their life with friends and family. Do some get carried away and spend more than they can afford? Absolutely! Do some lavish weddings later end in divorce? Of course. But it doesn't mean the couple wasn't hopeful and genuine when they walked down the aisle. Jeesh! Too many cynics around here!

I been to many weddings and events with sit down or buffet and they have been equally the same,...nothing to praise about.

[Photo Donna]

On 5/23/2014 Emma bunting said:

On 5/23/2014 Photo Donna said:

On 5/23/2014 LipstickDiva said:

My relative got married last year and his reception was at a country club. It was a sit down dinner and the food was fantastic. Most of the weddings I have been to had buffet type food and this is usually pretty mediocre.

Just because one has a very lavish wedding doesn't mean they cannot afford it either. His was the most lavish I had been to but no one went into debt for it. The bride's parents paid for a portion, the groom's mom paid for a portion and the groom himself paid for a portion of it. Just because you have a cheap wedding doesn't mean it won't end in divorce either.

There are a lot of things done with weddings that I think are ridiculous but I'm not the one paying so it's not really my concern.

I know some who go big can afford it. A friend recently had two kids married within months -- they paid (a lot) but they can easily afford it. One of the receptions was held at the Swan Coach House in Atlanta (where Phaedra had some party on RHOA and it was used in the last Hunger Games movie). The other wedding was at Fernbank -- (Cynthia had her wedding here on RHOA).

Others we know have kids with huge college loans, etc. and yet you would think it was a royal wedding or something. There is pressure on people to go big.

People can do what the want -- obviously, but it is silly to be so big with it -- and then to expect bigtime gifts.

We went to one in an old barn with a wonderful buffet catered by a local African American church -- fried chicken and all the sides. Not a big crowd -- but an awesome time and great fun. I think it was the best wedding we have attended.

I think maybe you are the one putting pressure on yourself to get a "big time" gift just because the wedding is a lavish one. Personally, I don't know anyone who links the amount they spend on a gift to what the wedding costs. Now THAT would be silly. Whether it's a backyard barbecue or a sit down dinner at the Ritz, my gift to the happy couple would be the exact same. As I believe it should be.

I think I completely agreed with you very early in this thread. It was others suggesting some gifts were "cheap" or that they needed to cover the cost of their presence at the reception.

Those who have had a great dinner at a large sit down dinner reception -- good for you. I have not. I am pretty picky though, since I am a darn good cook, about what is good, average, or superior.

[Photo Donna]

On 5/23/2014 LipstickDiva said:

On 5/23/2014 Photo Donna said:

On 5/23/2014 LipstickDiva said:

My relative got married last year and his reception was at a country club. It was a sit down dinner and the food was fantastic. Most of the weddings I have been to had buffet type food and this is usually pretty mediocre.

Just because one has a very lavish wedding doesn't mean they cannot afford it either. His was the most lavish I had been to but no one went into debt for it. The bride's parents paid for a portion, the groom's mom paid for a portion and the groom himself paid for a portion of it. Just because you have a cheap wedding doesn't mean it won't end in divorce either.

There are a lot of things done with weddings that I think are ridiculous but I'm not the one paying so it's not really my concern.

I know some who go big can afford it. A friend recently had two kids married within months -- they paid (a lot) but they can easily afford it. One of the receptions was held at the Swan Coach House in Atlanta (where Phaedra had some party on RHOA and it was used in the last Hunger Games movie). The other wedding was at Fernbank -- (Cynthia had her wedding here on RHOA).

Others we know have kids with huge college loans, etc. and yet you would think it was a royal wedding or something. There is pressure on people to go big.

People can do what the want -- obviously, but it is silly to be so big with it -- and then to expect bigtime gifts.

We went to one in an old barn with a wonderful buffet catered by a local African American church -- fried chicken and all the sides. Not a big crowd -- but an awesome time and great fun. I think it was the best wedding we have attended.

I know what some people spend on weddings, I just couldn't do. I can't imagine even if I had that kind of money, that's what I would choose to do with it. And I certainly would never go into debt for a wedding.

I personally have a better time at more casual affairs than more formal events. That just isn't me. I always feel like I'm going to do something wrong. I'm just not a country club person. LOL

I agree.

But the barn wedding I mentioned was not really casual -- but kept small, close friends & family, and very manageable so all had a very good time.

I can't imagine sending invites to people the way some do -- it is almost as if they bumped into you in an elevator a couple times -- so you are invited.

[Emma bunting]

On 5/23/2014 Photo Donna said:

On 5/23/2014 Emma bunting said:

On 5/23/2014 Photo Donna said:

On 5/23/2014 LipstickDiva said:

My relative got married last year and his reception was at a country club. It was a sit down dinner and the food was fantastic. Most of the weddings I have been to had buffet type food and this is usually pretty mediocre.

Just because one has a very lavish wedding doesn't mean they cannot afford it either. His was the most lavish I had been to but no one went into debt for it. The bride's parents paid for a portion, the groom's mom paid for a portion and the groom himself paid for a portion of it. Just because you have a cheap wedding doesn't mean it won't end in divorce either.

There are a lot of things done with weddings that I think are ridiculous but I'm not the one paying so it's not really my concern.

I know some who go big can afford it. A friend recently had two kids married within months -- they paid (a lot) but they can easily afford it. One of the receptions was held at the Swan Coach House in Atlanta (where Phaedra had some party on RHOA and it was used in the last Hunger Games movie). The other wedding was at Fernbank -- (Cynthia had her wedding here on RHOA).

Others we know have kids with huge college loans, etc. and yet you would think it was a royal wedding or something. There is pressure on people to go big.

People can do what the want -- obviously, but it is silly to be so big with it -- and then to expect bigtime gifts.

We went to one in an old barn with a wonderful buffet catered by a local African American church -- fried chicken and all the sides. Not a big crowd -- but an awesome time and great fun. I think it was the best wedding we have attended.

I think maybe you are the one putting pressure on yourself to get a "big time" gift just because the wedding is a lavish one. Personally, I don't know anyone who links the amount they spend on a gift to what the wedding costs. Now THAT would be silly. Whether it's a backyard barbecue or a sit down dinner at the Ritz, my gift to the happy couple would be the exact same. As I believe it should be.

I think I completely agreed with you very early in this thread. It was others suggesting some gifts were "cheap" or that they needed to cover the cost of their presence at the reception.

Those who have had a great dinner at a large sit down dinner reception -- good for you. I have not. I am pretty picky though, since I am a darn good cook, about what is good, average, or superior.

A lot of us are good cooks and are familiar with the way in which food should be prepared. My husband was in the restaurant business at the time of our wedding so we really focused on the food. We had surf and turf-- Filet mignon and baked stuffed shrimp .....and were not going to pay that kind of money for meat that was overdone or just mediocre. There were a lot of restaurant people attending our wedding, so my husband was really picky about the food.

Just don't think you're the only one who is picky about food...OR that an amazing meal is impossible at a large gathering. Maybe you just haven't been to the right wedding yet....

[Photo Donna]

I am sure your meal was wonderful, Emma.

[scotttie]

Geez. I can't believe people are still talking about that ""cover the meal"" comment.

[scotttie]

On 5/22/2014 Lila Belle said:

Just wondering...can anyone cite the ""cost per plate"" rule by any etiquette expert ?

[Emma bunting]

On 5/23/2014 Photo Donna said:

I am sure your meal was wonderful, Emma.

...okay.....ya got me! I guess I did get a little worked up about it. Blalnket statements just rub me the wrong way sometimes. I guess this is one of those times. It's all good, though...sorry if I came across as defensive....

[Catitude]

There are plenty of venues that prepare and serve delicious foods in large quantities at weddings. Cattle call? The Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach is a good example. Some of you seem so down on lavish weddings, perhaps because you can't afford to throw one yourself?