Community Chat

[Venus]

I think it's been a long time since some of you have planned a wedding. I "try" to cover my plate and then some. I'm in Phila suburb, so not a real ritzy area, but I can tell you that any wedding not in a fire hall (we do that in PA) or outside is going to run the couple at least $100 a plate, usually much more. I wouldn't think of going to a wedding like that and not giving at least $200 - unless I had gone to several showers - engagement, bridal, etc. Then I'd probably give a little less. If I don't know the person very well, I decline (saving them the expense of the food), but I still send them money and a card. If it's a destination wedding, sometimes I give a little less since I'm spending so much on travel/hotel.

[missy1]

On 5/22/2014 Venus said:

I think it's been a long time since some of you have planned a wedding. I "try" to cover my plate and then some. I'm in Phila suburb, so not a real ritzy area, but I can tell you that any wedding not in a fire hall (we do that in PA) or outside is going to run the couple at least $100 a plate, usually much more. I wouldn't think of going to a wedding like that and not giving at least $200 - unless I had gone to several showers - engagement, bridal, etc. Then I'd probably give a little less. If I don't know the person very well, I decline (saving them the expense of the food), but I still send them money and a card. If it's a destination wedding, sometimes I give a little less since I'm spending so much on travel/hotel.

Why should guests finance the couples wedding? If they can't afford it, wait until they can.

[gidgetgh]

On 5/22/2014 circles said:

On 5/21/2014 birddrops said:

I would say $200.00. OMG $50.00 is really cheap these days!

totally agree....I would never give such a cheap gift...

I wouldn't exactly call $50 cheap.

[gidgetgh]

On 5/22/2014 Preds said:

On 5/22/2014 Krimpette said:

Consider me "cheap".

Me, too.

Me too. I'm planning on spending $200-$250 for the daughter of my best friend, but we've been best friends for 44 years. Casual friend, $200+? No way.

[Preds]

On 5/22/2014 gidgetgoeshawaiian said:

On 5/22/2014 Preds said:

On 5/22/2014 Krimpette said:

Consider me "cheap".

Me, too.

Me too. I'm planning on spending $200-$250 for the daughter of my best friend, but we've been best friends for 44 years. Casual friend, $200+? No way.

See, that's a big difference, because she is almost like family. You almost "raised" her.

[nun ya]

On 5/21/2014 cater said:

My husband and I attended a wedding and during the reception we saw the bride and groom go to the bird cage that they used to collect the wedding cards in open and empty it and went out to the lobby and opened all the cards and took the money out and never even paid attention to what the amount was in each card . Real class that couple had.

Sounds like the wedding my daughter went to last year. The couple took the basket and left the reception Never sent Thank You's either. They were young, but still no excuse for bad manners.

[Surfnturf]

I had no idea my gift amount should cover the cost of feeding me. I thought I received an invitation because the couple wanted me to celebrate their wedding day with them. I do have a question. Last Spring, I flew me and my mom to an out of state wedding. I paid for airline tickets, a hotel room, rental car, and food while we were there. I also gave the couple, the daughter of a second cousin, a one hundred dollar bill in a card. Many people travel some distance to weddings. Why should they then turn around and cover the cost of their meal at the reception?

[maryebrown_1]

On 5/22/2014 Hildegarde Withers said:

On 5/22/2014 nunya said:

On 5/21/2014 cater said:

My husband and I attended a wedding and during the reception we saw the bride and groom go to the bird cage that they used to collect the wedding cards in open and empty it and went out to the lobby and opened all the cards and took the money out and never even paid attention to what the amount was in each card . Real class that couple had.

Sounds like the wedding my daughter went to last year. The couple took the basket and left the reception Never sent Thank You's either. They were young, but still no excuse for bad manners.

We never received a Thank You for a wedding present we had given and I'll remember that if they decide to have kids and I'm invited to her baby shower.

I've always thought it was the Parents of the Bride's "responsibility" to round up the gifts and cards, and take them to their home after the reception. At least, it was that way at my wedding, almost 40 years ago. DH and I went directly on our honeymoon and my Mom made a list of who gave what so I could write the Thank You cards when I got back.

[Catitude]

We recently went to a BLACK TIE wedding where each plate cost $200.00 per person. This didn't include the open bar, the Viennese dessert table, the orchestra, the elaborate floral arrangements, etc. The had signature martinis, gold dipped ice cream cones, just over the top gaudiness. The invitation read: NO GIFTS PLEASE. (I wonder if they meant they wanted money instead). So, we gave nothing. This was my husband's idea not to give as he took the invitation to literally mean give nothing. This was a co-worker of his. I spent more on my dress than $200.00 and DH rented a tux and we rented a limo to get there because DH didn't want to drink and drive.

[Lila Belle]

Everyone who gripes about bridezillas seem, to me, to be feeding the beast by trying to cover the cost of their tab.

Do people ever purchase from the registry ?