Community Chat

[fortune]

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@ROMARY wrote:

Oh, yes!  If there are children involved, it's necessary to be 'friends'.   No room for grudges and rudeness.  Just be civil, be friendly. 

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@ROMARY

I think it is absolutely crucial that spouses don't bad mouth each other to the children!!!!!!!

[Annabellethecat66]

I don't think there's a yes or no answer.  There are many things that would have happened in the marriage to determine how two people would feel AFTER the divorce.

So, I don't know if any of you have ever read about my crazy family (crazy but I adore them).

My Mother was married 6 times. Once first to my Dad at 18, then 2 times to my 1/2 sister's Dad and 3 times to my Dad's best friend.

They were very, very difficult divorces each time but they did remarry (except to my Dad).

All three of my sisters were married and divorced 2 times.  All three sisters became good friends with their ex-husbands.  In fact, they all three became good friends with the ex's girlfriends and 2nd wives.  They've stayed for a few days at the ex's houses!

It's really not that unusual because most people are attracted to people with the same personalities (as a rule).  So it would make sense that they'd like the second wife.

Honey!  You have no idea what goes on in my family (mostly USED to go on).

We've had family get togethers and everyone is happy, no problems. The women in my family are extremely strong characters, they just aren't threatened by other women.

My brother and I were the only one's who never divorced.  My brother was married 50 years when his wife died and it was a wonderful marriage, but 2 months after she died he called and said, "I'm so lonely".  He's had several girlfriends (he's 77 years old).

Most of the people in my family are quite outgoing.  You can imagine the get-togethers.  Ha!

[phoenixbrd]

My SO is not appreciative of me having a "friendship" with an Ex.  I think it best to consider several feelings regarding this issue if you are currently in a long term committed relationship.  Of course, if children are involved this bridge must be crossed.

[OfCourse]

If people have children together or live/work in proximity to one another, they might make an effort to be friendly and that over time could become a friendship.  Otherwise, people go their separate ways and don't see each other after they split.

[FrostyBabe1]

I think you CAN be, but I've never WANTED to be. There's never been children involved and I didn't marry, so the end of the relationship was the end. You wish each other the best and move on. 

The last guy I dated turned out to be a hot mess. I've heard from several mutual acquaintances that's he told people that we're still good friends and see each other all the time. Neither is true. I've thought about sending him a text message telling him that I don't appreciate it and insist that he stop, but I don't even want to have that much contact with him.  

[Kitlynn]

Absolutely! My Ex and I get along fine and we have a daughter who is grown now. She says she has always appreciated that we get along and she has never been in the middle of any problems or made to choose. Both of us have remarried and now our daughter is one of six for him and still an only child for me. So she has the best of both worlds. LOL

[jaxs mom]

yes

[missy1]

yes

[jannabelle1]

Absolutely not! There would be absolutely no reason for me since there were no kids involved. Aside from that, after what he and his much younger girlfriend (who quickly became his next wife) did, I wouldn't waste my energy! I think in some situations when small children are involved, it's best to maintain friendly relations, but that doesn't necessarily mean being friends with each other. It can be a slippery slope, especially is there is a new spouse.

[chrystaltree]

I suppose you could be and if you have children together, you should try to have a "friendly" and comfortable relationship since you are forever bound to each other through your kids and grandkids.  Other than that, it smacks of not being able to move on.