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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,247
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

CONTINUATION OF LAUGHS, SHALL WE?

11.   REPEAT THAT MATE?

If you understand English, press 1.  If you don't understand English, press 2.

 

12.   WHOM GAVE IT AWAY?

When my coworker answered his phone, the confused woman on the other end asked, "Who is this?"   "This is Steve, with whom did you wish to speak?"  After a pause, the woman  asked, "Did you just say whom?"  "Yes, I did."  The woman replied, "I have the wrong number", and hung up.

 

13.   BLOODY GOOD QUESTION

How can you ever be late for anything in London?  They have a huge clock right in the middle of the town!"

 

14.   I'd rather spend ten minutes rearranging the dishwasher to accommodate something, than spend 30 seconds washing it by hand.

 

15.   HOW ABOUT A FINGER?

An ad for a hedge clipper that I had read twice:  "A built-in safety switch prevents accidental starting, and blades will stop when you take one hand off."

 

16.   A man goes to a job interview and the interviewer begins with a question; "What do you think is your biggest weakness?"  The man thinks for a moment, then says, "I think my biggest weakness is my brutal honesty."  The interviewer says, " I don't think that's a weakness."  The man then says, "I don't give a +=%^& what you think."

 

17.   I spent so much more effort in naming my first wi-fi than my first child.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,648
Registered: ‎08-19-2014

Re: CONTINUATION OF LAUGHS, SHALL WE?

Life these days is miserable. @Lindsays Grandma  Thanks for the laugh!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,375
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: CONTINUATION OF LAUGHS, SHALL WE?

@Lindsays Grandma Thanks!!

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,247
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: CONTINUATION OF LAUGHS, SHALL WE?

@Nicksmom 

@lovemygrands 

 

With what all of us are going through if we don't lighten up now and then, we just might reach a breaking point.  I don't even want to think of how long this is going to continue and how many, including my daughter, will be out of a job.  It isn't much, but if I can lighten things up and bring a smile to people's faces, I will do it.  Good luck to both you and be careful when grocery shopping.  Heart

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,899
Registered: ‎08-19-2010

Re: CONTINUATION OF LAUGHS, SHALL WE?

I saw this funny joke online.

 

woman has her head wet and dripping in the bathroom

she hollers to hubbo "honey can you hand me the blow dryer"?

He cracks open the door and hands her a gun, butt end , to feel like the

handle of blow dryer. Underneath the cartoon it says 

 

"Day 7 of quarantine".

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,220
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: CONTINUATION OF LAUGHS, SHALL WE?

[ Edited ]

I'm ready for more.  Keep 'em coming!!!  

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If your face brightens when you meet a friend, you have struck gold. - unknown