Community Chat

[JaneMarple]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

@Imadickens

No one was talking about wearing sweats to a wedding.  More that several of us did not feel we had to wear a fancy dress with pantyhose anymore.

It's 2016 not 1960. 

Comfortable dressy slacks, an upscale top and good jewelry is more my style.

But if you want to wear a cocktail dress, nylons and heels, I won't care.

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@Noel7One of my worst fashion faux pas memories is when we were invited to a St. Patrick's Day party in a nice hotel twenty years ago. I was told by the host it would be formal and I put a lot of time and effort in finding a dress, shoes and accessories. I walked in the door and much to my chagrin there was a sea of blue jeans and green sweat pants. I think I was probably the only woman in the room overdressed. My husband had on a really nice suit and I think we must have looked like two misinformed individuals. The host (a former friend) had a twinkle in her eye when we showed up. LOL

From then on, I learned always to be underdressed than overdressed.....

@Trinity11 You really felt uncomfortable? I would have felt fabulous that I looked so good. I love to drees up and more often than not I'm almost always over dressed. I hope you had a nice time though.

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[Trinity11]

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@JaneMarple wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

@Imadickens

No one was talking about wearing sweats to a wedding.  More that several of us did not feel we had to wear a fancy dress with pantyhose anymore.

It's 2016 not 1960. 

Comfortable dressy slacks, an upscale top and good jewelry is more my style.

But if you want to wear a cocktail dress, nylons and heels, I won't care.

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@Noel7One of my worst fashion faux pas memories is when we were invited to a St. Patrick's Day party in a nice hotel twenty years ago. I was told by the host it would be formal and I put a lot of time and effort in finding a dress, shoes and accessories. I walked in the door and much to my chagrin there was a sea of blue jeans and green sweat pants. I think I was probably the only woman in the room overdressed. My husband had on a really nice suit and I think we must have looked like two misinformed individuals. The host (a former friend) had a twinkle in her eye when we showed up. LOL

From then on, I learned always to be underdressed than overdressed.....

@Trinity11 You really felt uncomfortable? I would have felt fabulous that I looked so good. I love to drees up and more often than not I'm almost always over dressed. I hope you had a nice time though.

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@JaneMarpleI think it made me look foolish because everyone else's invitation must have said casual. Showing up in a silk dress with high heels and diamond jewelry made it seem like I was some kind of attention seeker and I am pretty shy in general, so I felt really bad. I didn't have a particularly good time. We were seated at a table with someone who chewed my ear off about his politics. We left early....

[JaneMarple]

@Trinity11 I understand what you're saying, I'm really sorry that the evening wasn't a good one.

[Trinity11]

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@JaneMarple wrote:

@Trinity11 I understand what you're saying, I'm really sorry that the evening wasn't a good one.

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Thanks, Jane.

[Mominohio]

I would say it depends on the group of people you are invinting.

Are they a real mixed crowd of different types of people or is everyone from the same 'world'. If it is a real mix of ages, socio economic backgrounds and personalities, maybe everyone won't be comfortable dressing in a particular way. If everyone is more 'alike' in lifestyle, then dictating attire might work.

And as others pointed out, if it is a formal sit down dinner, better attire might be appropriate, but if it is an event where people have to balance food while standing or moving about, I can't see doing it in a dress and high heels. 

I personally think a good host wants his guests to be comfortable, and doesn't dictate what he wants, but let's them choose. The party should be about the guests, not the hosts wanting to create something others don't want to do. 

[Sooner]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@JaneMarple wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

@Imadickens

No one was talking about wearing sweats to a wedding.  More that several of us did not feel we had to wear a fancy dress with pantyhose anymore.

It's 2016 not 1960. 

Comfortable dressy slacks, an upscale top and good jewelry is more my style.

But if you want to wear a cocktail dress, nylons and heels, I won't care.

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@Noel7One of my worst fashion faux pas memories is when we were invited to a St. Patrick's Day party in a nice hotel twenty years ago. I was told by the host it would be formal and I put a lot of time and effort in finding a dress, shoes and accessories. I walked in the door and much to my chagrin there was a sea of blue jeans and green sweat pants. I think I was probably the only woman in the room overdressed. My husband had on a really nice suit and I think we must have looked like two misinformed individuals. The host (a former friend) had a twinkle in her eye when we showed up. LOL

From then on, I learned always to be underdressed than overdressed.....

@Trinity11 You really felt uncomfortable? I would have felt fabulous that I looked so good. I love to drees up and more often than not I'm almost always over dressed. I hope you had a nice time though.

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@JaneMarpleI think it made me look foolish because everyone else's invitation must have said casual. Showing up in a silk dress with high heels and diamond jewelry made it seem like I was some kind of attention seeker and I am pretty shy in general, so I felt really bad. I didn't have a particularly good time. We were seated at a table with someone who chewed my ear off about his politics. We left early....

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That happened to us once and we left early too and said we had to make an appearance at another party!  We laughed all the way home becuase the first one was something we HAD to go to anyway and were glad to have an excuse not to stay late!  It was during the Christmas season.  

[Sooner]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

The issue is people used to care what other people thought of the and care about how the world perceived themselves.  We were brought up to think of others.

Today people are inclined to say they don't care what other people think or want and they will do as they please above all else. 

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@Sooner

I think we can do both.  We can think of other people and their welfare, "help the needy and show them the way."

But imo, in no way do I have to care about what judgemental people think of what I wear.  I don't care what they wear.  If we did, we'd still be stuck in 1950.

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To me, caring about what others think of us is one of the great things about 1950 that we have lost.  It includes being polite, not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, trying to have people think well of you, and of course helping the needy.  I think respect is the word.  Trying to dress well and look nice is to me saying to the world I respect you.  It sends a message to everyone we meet.

[Noel7]

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@Sooner wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

The issue is people used to care what other people thought of the and care about how the world perceived themselves.  We were brought up to think of others.

Today people are inclined to say they don't care what other people think or want and they will do as they please above all else. 

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@Sooner

I think we can do both.  We can think of other people and their welfare, "help the needy and show them the way."

But imo, in no way do I have to care about what judgemental people think of what I wear.  I don't care what they wear.  If we did, we'd still be stuck in 1950.

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To me, caring about what others think of us is one of the great things about 1950 that we have lost.  It includes being polite, not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, trying to have people think well of you, and of course helping the needy.  I think respect is the word.  Trying to dress well and look nice is to me saying to the world I respect you.  It sends a message to everyone we meet.

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@Sooner

Everyone is different.  You can't please everyone.  Never, ever.  Set your own standards and try to live up to them because you will never win if you are living to please others.

[Sooner]

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

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@Noel7 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

The issue is people used to care what other people thought of the and care about how the world perceived themselves.  We were brought up to think of others.

Today people are inclined to say they don't care what other people think or want and they will do as they please above all else. 

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@Sooner

I think we can do both.  We can think of other people and their welfare, "help the needy and show them the way."

But imo, in no way do I have to care about what judgemental people think of what I wear.  I don't care what they wear.  If we did, we'd still be stuck in 1950.

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To me, caring about what others think of us is one of the great things about 1950 that we have lost.  It includes being polite, not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, trying to have people think well of you, and of course helping the needy.  I think respect is the word.  Trying to dress well and look nice is to me saying to the world I respect you.  It sends a message to everyone we meet.

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@Sooner

Everyone is different.  You can't please everyone.  Never, ever.  Set your own standards and try to live up to them because you will never win if you are living to please others.

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I want to be respected by others and accepted.  Not just for clothing but for who I am.  Of course part of that equation is pleasing others isn't it?  I don't want to go around spitting in people's faces and there is a lot of can do in this world to make other people happy.  Why wouldn't I want to do that? 

[magicmoodz]

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@RazorSharp wrote:

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@magicmoodz wrote:

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@RazorSharp wrote:

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@magicmoodz wrote:

This thread is a great example of how women tend to get their knickers in knots trying to prove their point of view is, of course, RIGHT.  

That being said I respectfully disagree that jeans cannot look dressy.  Paired with a great pair of boots, designer handbag, a silk shirt or camel hair blazer and "good" jewelry, I personally can make an outfit comprised of jeans look dressy.  Jeans don't always mean Denim & Co and white tennies.  

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@magicmoodz Yes, jeans can look very nice, but they would only be appropriate if the invitation says that the proper attire is Casual or Casual Dressy.  They are not appropriate if an invitation says that the attire should be Festive or Cocktail. 

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@RazorSharp

I completely agree.  I just find it surprising so many feel jeans are inappropriate for a HOME festive holiday party, suggesting work attire (dress pants) are more appropriate.  Who wants to wear the same outfit to a party on Saturday night that they wore to work on Thursday?  😟

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@magicmoodz Well, technically, jeans would not be appropriate for a home festive holiday party if the invitation says "Festive Attire."  "Festive" attire is basically the same as "Cocktail" attire with a holiday influence in colors or patterns.  I'd have to dig out my etiquette book, but I'm pretty sure jeans are only appropriate for the designations of  "Casual" or "Casual Dressy."

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@RazorSharp

I would never state "festive attire" on an invitation, nor would I dictate what my friends must wear.  They are all beautiful people both inside and out and know how to look polished and presentable.