Community Chat

[Hippiified]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

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@151949

Well, many of us know how to say "no thanks" .... but that's ONLY effective if the man is a gentleman and will take no for an answer.   That's not what's happened in most cases in the news.

What about the predators who don't take no for an answer, and are detemined to have their way with a woman when she's definitely NOT interested?

Clearly, it's not rape or sexual assault if the activity was CONSENSUAL.      

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@Tinkrbl44

Well said!  Thank you.  

[suzyQ3]

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

I have a hard time resisting chocolate. It tempts me all day in the stores, in ads, at parties, in vending machines. Chocolate is so decadent, so enjoyable, so satisfying.

If I make the bad decision to eat it all day and gain so much weight I can't fit into my clothes is my fault or can I blame the candy company? After all, they prey on my weakness.

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@SusieQ_2, could you please spell out what you're saying?

[dooBdoo]

            General comment:   The topic of sexual abuse, harassment, accusations, trauma and long-term damage, etc.,  is so very worth discussion, and there's so much for all of us to learn, yet I keep seeing people using it as an excuse to post partisan political comments or to bash and trash media outlets they don't like.   That's sad, since it limits and colors our abilty to objectively exchange ideas and experience about the actual topic -- which is not politics or our favorite or our most-disliked media outlets.   At this point, I'm thinking the standards need to be updated and a "let's talk politics" sub-forum can be added.   The highly-charged political (often partisan) threads and posts have been so numerous and the moderation of them so confusing that I've only replied to a few.   It's not really worth the time since I genuinely don't know what's expected of us these days.   

[Cats3000]

Oznell:  I'm neither a lawyer or a constitutional specialist.  But, I AM worried about what I see going on.  I'm afraid that this is going to develop into a massive flood that will engulf EVERYONE (the completely innocent, those who may have unknowling/unwittingly done something that made another person "uncomfortable" and were never told about it, and the truly guilty).  The current scheme seems to be a form of "kill them all and let G-D sort it out".  Is that what we really want going forward?  Be careful what you wish for.

[suzyQ3]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

It does not matter whether I respect or know the person or not.  I do not and will never assume that a person is guilty of something JUST because someone makes an accusation.  That is NOT what Americans do.  And I won't even consider an accusation made my someone who wants to slander someone and remain anonymous.  What's going today is modern day witch hunt.  

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@chrystaltree, since no one has posted in this way, you can relax. What posters ARE saying is not to employ every argument in the arsenal to dismiss the women's accusations.

Posters are just asking for thorough investigations, not silence anymore.

As for not naming the accusers, this is not their fault. It has been a journalistic tradition not to name such accusers because of the particular shame and humiliation associated with such crimes. Many people still hold to this tradition, while others believe that the cloak of anonymity is outdated.

[SusieQ_2]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

I have a hard time resisting chocolate. It tempts me all day in the stores, in ads, at parties, in vending machines. Chocolate is so decadent, so enjoyable, so satisfying.

If I make the bad decision to eat it all day and gain so much weight I can't fit into my clothes is my fault or can I blame the candy company? After all, they prey on my weakness.

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@SusieQ_2, could you please spell out what you're saying?

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@suzyQ3

Hello to another Suzy! Sure, what I was replying to was the comment that "many young women would have a had time resisting the President of the United States ."

It was a discussion about whether or not a person would consider Monica Lewinsky a victim. You can probably tell by my comment that I do not.

[tansy]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

            General comment:   The topic of sexual abuse, harassment, accusations, trauma and long-term damage, etc.,  is so very worth discussion, and there's so much for all of us to learn, yet I keep seeing people using it as an excuse to post partisan political comments or to bash and trash media outlets they don't like.   That's sad, since it limits and colors our abilty to objectively exchange ideas and experience about the actual topic -- which is not politics or our favorite or our most-disliked media outlets.   At this point, I'm thinking the standards need to be updated and a "let's talk politics" sub-forum can be added.   The highly-charged political (often partisan) threads and posts have been so numerous and the moderation of them so confusing that I've only replied to a few.   It's not really worth the time since I genuinely don't know what's expected of us these days.   

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Oh, @dooBdoo.  I mentioned the other night that it looked like I needed to add this forum to my bookmarked political sites.  The mods need to come to a decision as to what’s allowed and be consistent.

BTW:  The whole thread disappeared shortly after my comment.

[Hippiified]

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@cherry wrote:

Abuse is never OK. I'm glad I raised a daughter with enough courage to fight back, even though she was just a teen when it happened to her

Not all girls ,or boys ,have enough self confidence to  tell. It's not that they want to be a victim. They are chosen because they aren't strong enough to fight back

The creep that tried it on with my daughter, was old enough to know better, he had grandchildren

He had the nerve to try to  say ,

he thought she she wanted him to do it. No one wants anyone to do it.  That is the lamest excuse in the world. He never denied doing it

My advise to anyone in this situation is to tell, to scream , to fight back, and sue

This happened to her about  32 years ago. She won her case, and the man involved had his business fold. 

Was it too harsh to pay a price like this? I think not. I wonder how many other young girls suffered at his hands ,and he got away with it?

He got what he deserved

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And some are overpowered and can’t fight back. Or threatened to not tell.  But, good for your daughter.  If it’s done to a person underage, it is a crime. If they are of age, anything unwanted is harassment, assault or rape.