Community Chat

[lovescats]

---

@momtochloe wrote:

---

@lovescats wrote:

---

@momtochloe wrote:

---

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

---

@momtochloe wrote:

---

@Bri36 wrote:

Maybe some men will think twice about what they say and how they treat women now.  

That is a good thing...

---

For me I just wanted to highlight @Bri36 post as going forward I do believe men may now think twice before doing something stupid or worse illegal.

What is clouding the issue right now is that you have so many women of different ages/experiences that are all speaking (as they should) but it's impossible to compartmentalize what the outcome should be.

I am glad that finally victims are speaking up/out and that their voices are being heard but my concern is that truly egregious actions may be muted by less severe transgressions.

I am 60 and had my behind grabbed more times than I can count, it's just the way it was back then and to be honest to this day it doesn't offend me as I was never harmed as others have been during the same timeframe.  I just want to ensure those that were attacked by an aggressor like Weinstein don't lose the focus they deserve.

---

@momtochloe

Excellent point, and I think that this is also making employers a bit nervous .....  with them having to be even more careful about making all employees understanding what isn't acceptable behavior. 

No employer wants to be sued for doing nothing in a "hostile work environment".   They know the laws ....  and it's on them to monitor complaints, and take them seriously.

---

Thank you @Tinkrbl44 and I would like to take this a step further as I have been through enough slide show presentations about harassment to last me a lifetime.  A simple click that you have watched the video isn't good enough anymore.  HR departments need to get tough and focused but most importantly they need to be supported by upper management.

---

both of these statements make me wonder what message was being sent.   

---

@lovescats please forgive me as I am not quite sure of your message here but for me these exercises that companies have their employees go through are strictly CYA which clearly weakens anyone that may be having a problem with a co-worker or manager.

For me, it comes as no surprise when a sexual harassment situation finally bubbles up to the surface and unfortunately so many people have been negatively impacted in the process.  Everybody usually knows what/who the problem is but they are usually protected by someone in management.  This is what I hope is the turning point in that thought process/way of doing business.

---

If some women don't mind it are others taken seriously when they complain? should this grabbing be acceptable in the workplace even if some people are ok with it  or like it

[Mj12]

---

---

If some women don't mind it are others taken seriously when they complain? should this grabbing be acceptable in the workplace even if some people are ok with it  or like it

---

What?  Never.

[momtochloe]

---

@lovescats wrote:

---

@momtochloe wrote:

---

@lovescats wrote:

---

@momtochloe wrote:

---

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

---

@momtochloe wrote:

---

@Bri36 wrote:

Maybe some men will think twice about what they say and how they treat women now.  

That is a good thing...

---

For me I just wanted to highlight @Bri36 post as going forward I do believe men may now think twice before doing something stupid or worse illegal.

What is clouding the issue right now is that you have so many women of different ages/experiences that are all speaking (as they should) but it's impossible to compartmentalize what the outcome should be.

I am glad that finally victims are speaking up/out and that their voices are being heard but my concern is that truly egregious actions may be muted by less severe transgressions.

I am 60 and had my behind grabbed more times than I can count, it's just the way it was back then and to be honest to this day it doesn't offend me as I was never harmed as others have been during the same timeframe.  I just want to ensure those that were attacked by an aggressor like Weinstein don't lose the focus they deserve.

---

@momtochloe

Excellent point, and I think that this is also making employers a bit nervous .....  with them having to be even more careful about making all employees understanding what isn't acceptable behavior. 

No employer wants to be sued for doing nothing in a "hostile work environment".   They know the laws ....  and it's on them to monitor complaints, and take them seriously.

---

Thank you @Tinkrbl44 and I would like to take this a step further as I have been through enough slide show presentations about harassment to last me a lifetime.  A simple click that you have watched the video isn't good enough anymore.  HR departments need to get tough and focused but most importantly they need to be supported by upper management.

---

both of these statements make me wonder what message was being sent.   

---

@lovescats please forgive me as I am not quite sure of your message here but for me these exercises that companies have their employees go through are strictly CYA which clearly weakens anyone that may be having a problem with a co-worker or manager.

For me, it comes as no surprise when a sexual harassment situation finally bubbles up to the surface and unfortunately so many people have been negatively impacted in the process.  Everybody usually knows what/who the problem is but they are usually protected by someone in management.  This is what I hope is the turning point in that thought process/way of doing business.

---

If some women don't mind it are others taken seriously when they complain? should this grabbing be acceptable in the workplace even if some people are ok with it  or like it

---

For me, the bottom line is if an employee is uncomfortable with a situation they should be heard and if necessary their concerns be addressed.  This is never a one size fits all solution.

Again, I don't want folks that have egregiously incidents lumped in with others that are more sensitive.  I don't want a Weinstein situation in the same category as someone that is more sensitive to their own personal space or what they may find offensive.

[lovescats]

---

@Mj12 wrote:

---

lovecats wrote: 

---

If some women don't mind it are others taken seriously when they complain? should this grabbing be acceptable in the workplace even if some people are ok with it  or like it

---

What?  Never.

---

apparently some people think it is OK.   I don't  Matt lauer's  wife would have liked reading about him pinching or grabbing katie couric  never mind all the other stuff

[LoveMyBaby]

---

@151949 wrote:

@Tinkrbl44  ITA with you. but this poster named lovemybaby says that even when the sex is consensual that it is abuse in some cases, and I disagree with her. She says as an example that Monica Lewansky was abused by Bill Clinton and I say she was 21 years old and never claimed she did not consent.

--------------

Just one example:

Headline 

Monica Lewinsky still doesn’t understand that she is a victim

Source: The Washington Post Letter to the editor: Regarding the May 7 Style article “Rewriting her own story”:

There is no such thing as a consensual relationship between a White House intern and the president of the United States. Period.

This is not a subtle point, and it is troubling that, after all these years, Monica Lewinsky still doesn’t get it. An excerpt from her upcoming article in Vanity Fair suggests that the aftermath of ugly publicity made her a victim, not the affair itself (since she “consented”). It is a testament to the power of denial in cases of victimization. 

On the surface, it would seem that realizing you were a victim would be a relief: It wasn’t your fault. But the evidence doesn’t support that. Even very young children who are the victims of sexual predators carry with them the idea that it was somehow their fault, and it often takes years of painful therapy before they can stop feeling guilty. Often it is easier to forgive the abuser than yourself.

Being older than 18 doesn’t make a person immune from being a victim. Inequality of power makes “consent” not possible, regardless of the victim’s age.

@151949

Its ok to disagree 👍🏼and I'm going to shut up because I don't want this discussion closed. The lively 'conversations' and awareness are too important. 

[cherry]

I think Monica was groomed, by someone who was all too appealing  ,for her to see what was being done to her. I think she was a victim of being emotionally needy

[chrystaltree]

It does not matter whether I respect or know the person or not.  I do not and will never assume that a person is guilty of something JUST because someone makes an accusation.  That is NOT what Americans do.  And I won't even consider an accusation made my someone who wants to slander someone and remain anonymous.  What's going today is modern day witch hunt.  

[momtochloe]

---

@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

---

With all due respect @151949 this is rather unfair as many young woman would have a had time resisting the President of the United States with that amount of charisma cozying up to them especially in the DC environment that percolates on a constant basis to this day (but hopefully not for too much longer).  To the best of my knowledge, Monica never claimed to be a victim of WJC but more the KS investigation that followed.  Her portrayal following those hearings was disgraceful and remains so to this day.

[LoveMyBaby]

---

@momtochloe wrote:

---

@151949 wrote:

@LoveMyBaby  When I was 21 years old I was perfectly capable and able to know when and how to say No, thank you. I'm not interested. Actually, I knew that by the time I was 15 or 16. 

Sadly, women sometimes want to claim to be victims when they aren't victims at all. It isn't the man's fault if the woman is too timid or infatuated to stand up for herself and say no. Men don't read minds. You can't say it's OK when your with him and then later come back and yell abuse.

---

With all due respect @151949 this is rather unfair as many young woman would have a had time resisting the President of the United States with that amount of charisma cozying up to them especially in the DC environment that percolates on a constant basis to this day (but hopefully not for too much longer).  To the best of my knowledge, Monica never claimed to be a victim of WJC but more the KS investigation that followed.  Her portrayal following those hearings was disgraceful and remains so to this day.

---

👍🏼Thank you - very true.., 

[SusieQ_2]

I have a hard time resisting chocolate. It tempts me all day in the stores, in ads, at parties, in vending machines. Chocolate is so decadent, so enjoyable, so satisfying.

If I make the bad decision to eat it all day and gain so much weight I can't fit into my clothes is my fault or can I blame the candy company? After all, they prey on my weakness.