Community Chat

[colliemom4]

On 1/31/2015 YorkieonmyPillow said:

I just wish he would SAY something.

Yes. Me too.

[shoekitty]

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 1/31/2015 mousiegirl said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

Gay and trans people marry and have kids because they feel the pressure to appear normal. Because friends and family expect it of them.

They also do it because they feel ashamed of who they are, or because people have wrongly told them it's possible to change. They try. They fail. Many want to kill themselves because it didn't work.

The man we know, I told his story on this line, was told by the woman who fell in love with him that their church could change him. He had joined the church for that very reason. His wife had been told his proclivity before they married. He tried and tried and was treated for serious clinical depression. He finally told her he couldn't fake it any longer.

Once again, all that could have been avoided if only there was no pressure for El Gee Bee Tee people to change who they are.

They usually do not continue to marry women though, as Bruce has done.

Some do. A first wife may not accept a marriage with dwindling relations and will eventually leave the man. Have you heard of beards? Some women go along with it, especially if money is involved. I suspect that might have been the case with Tom Cruise.

Noel,

How true about TC! That is pretty well known in the business.

I also think that because everything is so "out there" in society today...many people choose their life style. Not all, but many. The laws have changed, society has changed. The shame has been lifted a little bit, and it is a bit easier to exist gay, trans...whatever than it was even 10 years ago. I think there are those who actually choose their lifestyle at a point in their life. Some even revert later. I have heard this from a couple of women and a few men.

I think transgender is a whole different psyche than gay lifestyle. What worries me is the health issue. All the lifetime hormones, the operations. There hasn't been a long trial period to see how these drugs will effect their health. But it is not me. It is their decision, and I know they have been presented all the facts, and absorbed them. Plus the years it takes to have the whole operation, a person would have thought long and hard.

[hyacinth003]

On 1/31/2015 Anniecamp said:

I was referring to posters who are feeling sorry for him because he's coming out, not years ago. However, I still think that people should not marry and have children when they know how they feel. It's just deceitful. He could have stayed single. A lot of people never marry, even without any of those situations. jmo, that's all.

I agree. If you are that confused and unsure, don't drag others into it.

My own PERSONAL opinion is that it is a psychiatric disorder. I've heard all the opinions for and against this, and it remains my opinion. I don't want people to be miserable. I have compassion for things. But, all this acceptance of thinking you are one gender when you are really another is just.......I don't know. Your DNA doesn't change no matter how much you try to make it so.

I don't want to make others angry or argue. I will continue to think this.

Hyacinth

[hyacinth003]

On 1/31/2015 colliemom3 said:

On 1/31/2015 YorkieonmyPillow said:

I just wish he would SAY something.

Yes. Me too.

Why say something when you have a chance to MAKE MONEY about saying something?

Hyacinth

[newziesuzie]

On 1/31/2015 shoekitty said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 1/31/2015 mousiegirl said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

Gay and trans people marry and have kids because they feel the pressure to appear normal. Because friends and family expect it of them.

They also do it because they feel ashamed of who they are, or because people have wrongly told them it's possible to change. They try. They fail. Many want to kill themselves because it didn't work.

The man we know, I told his story on this line, was told by the woman who fell in love with him that their church could change him. He had joined the church for that very reason. His wife had been told his proclivity before they married. He tried and tried and was treated for serious clinical depression. He finally told her he couldn't fake it any longer.

Once again, all that could have been avoided if only there was no pressure for El Gee Bee Tee people to change who they are.

They usually do not continue to marry women though, as Bruce has done.

Some do. A first wife may not accept a marriage with dwindling relations and will eventually leave the man. Have you heard of beards? Some women go along with it, especially if money is involved. I suspect that might have been the case with Tom Cruise.

Noel,

How true about TC! That is pretty well known in the business.

I also think that because everything is so "out there" in society today...many people choose their life style. Not all, but many. The laws have changed, society has changed. The shame has been lifted a little bit, and it is a bit easier to exist gay, trans...whatever than it was even 10 years ago. I think there are those who actually choose their lifestyle at a point in their life. Some even revert later. I have heard this from a couple of women and a few men.

I think transgender is a whole different psyche than gay lifestyle. What worries me is the health issue. All the lifetime hormones, the operations. There hasn't been a long trial period to see how these drugs will effect their health. But it is not me. It is their decision, and I know they have been presented all the facts, and absorbed them. Plus the years it takes to have the whole operation, a person would have thought long and hard.

Being gay is not a "lifestyle" and people don't "choose" it.

[RainCityGirl]

On 1/31/2015 Anniecamp said:

This story was no surprise to me. I thought he looked ultra feminine even back in the Olympics. It was also obvious almost immediately after the marriage split that he wanted to look like a woman. I don't know how anyone could not have noticed.

It does bother me though, that he married, had children, etc., when he knew long ago. He could have remained a "bachelor" rather than mess with other people's lives. Very fraudulent behavior in my book.

As for those who feel sorry for him being rejected by some, if it bothered him that much, he wouldn't be doing a reality show.

Seriously? I guess I don't look for the "obvious," then because I never thought he looked feminine in the Olympics and it was never apparent to me after any of his marriage splits that he wanted to look like a woman. My, what intuitiveness you do have. He should have consulted you long ago and avoided all the complications.

[NoelSeven]

On 1/31/2015 shoekitty said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 1/31/2015 mousiegirl said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

Gay and trans people marry and have kids because they feel the pressure to appear normal. Because friends and family expect it of them.

They also do it because they feel ashamed of who they are, or because people have wrongly told them it's possible to change. They try. They fail. Many want to kill themselves because it didn't work.

The man we know, I told his story on this line, was told by the woman who fell in love with him that their church could change him. He had joined the church for that very reason. His wife had been told his proclivity before they married. He tried and tried and was treated for serious clinical depression. He finally told her he couldn't fake it any longer.

Once again, all that could have been avoided if only there was no pressure for El Gee Bee Tee people to change who they are.

They usually do not continue to marry women though, as Bruce has done.

Some do. A first wife may not accept a marriage with dwindling relations and will eventually leave the man. Have you heard of beards? Some women go along with it, especially if money is involved. I suspect that might have been the case with Tom Cruise.

Noel,

How true about TC! That is pretty well known in the business.

I also think that because everything is so "out there" in society today...many people choose their life style. Not all, but many. The laws have changed, society has changed. The shame has been lifted a little bit, and it is a bit easier to exist gay, trans...whatever than it was even 10 years ago. I think there are those who actually choose their lifestyle at a point in their life. Some even revert later. I have heard this from a couple of women and a few men.

I think transgender is a whole different psyche than gay lifestyle. What worries me is the health issue. All the lifetime hormones, the operations. There hasn't been a long trial period to see how these drugs will effect their health. But it is not me. It is their decision, and I know they have been presented all the facts, and absorbed them. Plus the years it takes to have the whole operation, a person would have thought long and hard.

Hi shoekitty,

You've made interesting points! The first trans woman that I know of was Christine Jorgensen who began the changeover in 1951. Then there was the transgender woman who played American tennis in the 70s, that caused a big stir. I'd hope the doctors have some idea of the effect of long-term hormones, but you're right, it's their choice.

[NoelSeven]

On 1/31/2015 hyacinth003 said:

On 1/31/2015 Anniecamp said:

I was referring to posters who are feeling sorry for him because he's coming out, not years ago. However, I still think that people should not marry and have children when they know how they feel. It's just deceitful. He could have stayed single. A lot of people never marry, even without any of those situations. jmo, that's all.

I agree. If you are that confused and unsure, don't drag others into it.

My own PERSONAL opinion is that it is a psychiatric disorder. I've heard all the opinions for and against this, and it remains my opinion. I don't want people to be miserable. I have compassion for things. But, all this acceptance of thinking you are one gender when you are really another is just.......I don't know. Your DNA doesn't change no matter how much you try to make it so.

I don't want to make others angry or argue. I will continue to think this.

Hyacinth

Actually, DNA can change. Not from what you are born, but from XX or XY to other variations. You might want to do some reading on that, there are numerous academic articles available online.

I'm not saying it changes for all on the spectrum, but it certainly does for some.

Try googling it. I can't remember what they're calling it now, but I've done quite a bit of reading on it over the years.

And I suppose you know there are babies born whose gender is undefinable. Gender is not in the private parts, it's in the brain.

[NoelSeven]

On 1/31/2015 newziesuzie said:

On 1/31/2015 shoekitty said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 1/31/2015 mousiegirl said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

Gay and trans people marry and have kids because they feel the pressure to appear normal. Because friends and family expect it of them.

They also do it because they feel ashamed of who they are, or because people have wrongly told them it's possible to change. They try. They fail. Many want to kill themselves because it didn't work.

The man we know, I told his story on this line, was told by the woman who fell in love with him that their church could change him. He had joined the church for that very reason. His wife had been told his proclivity before they married. He tried and tried and was treated for serious clinical depression. He finally told her he couldn't fake it any longer.

Once again, all that could have been avoided if only there was no pressure for El Gee Bee Tee people to change who they are.

They usually do not continue to marry women though, as Bruce has done.

Some do. A first wife may not accept a marriage with dwindling relations and will eventually leave the man. Have you heard of beards? Some women go along with it, especially if money is involved. I suspect that might have been the case with Tom Cruise.

Noel,

How true about TC! That is pretty well known in the business.

I also think that because everything is so "out there" in society today...many people choose their life style. Not all, but many. The laws have changed, society has changed. The shame has been lifted a little bit, and it is a bit easier to exist gay, trans...whatever than it was even 10 years ago. I think there are those who actually choose their lifestyle at a point in their life. Some even revert later. I have heard this from a couple of women and a few men.

I think transgender is a whole different psyche than gay lifestyle. What worries me is the health issue. All the lifetime hormones, the operations. There hasn't been a long trial period to see how these drugs will effect their health. But it is not me. It is their decision, and I know they have been presented all the facts, and absorbed them. Plus the years it takes to have the whole operation, a person would have thought long and hard.

Being gay is not a "lifestyle" and people don't "choose" it.

That's true, I assumed shoekitty was talking about a choice as to how to live their life, as in staying in the closet or not.

[shoekitty]

On 1/31/2015 newziesuzie said:

On 1/31/2015 shoekitty said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 1/31/2015 mousiegirl said:

On 1/31/2015 NoelSeven said:

Gay and trans people marry and have kids because they feel the pressure to appear normal. Because friends and family expect it of them.

They also do it because they feel ashamed of who they are, or because people have wrongly told them it's possible to change. They try. They fail. Many want to kill themselves because it didn't work.

The man we know, I told his story on this line, was told by the woman who fell in love with him that their church could change him. He had joined the church for that very reason. His wife had been told his proclivity before they married. He tried and tried and was treated for serious clinical depression. He finally told her he couldn't fake it any longer.

Once again, all that could have been avoided if only there was no pressure for El Gee Bee Tee people to change who they are.

They usually do not continue to marry women though, as Bruce has done.

Some do. A first wife may not accept a marriage with dwindling relations and will eventually leave the man. Have you heard of beards? Some women go along with it, especially if money is involved. I suspect that might have been the case with Tom Cruise.

Noel,

How true about TC! That is pretty well known in the business.

I also think that because everything is so "out there" in society today...many people choose their life style. Not all, but many. The laws have changed, society has changed. The shame has been lifted a little bit, and it is a bit easier to exist gay, trans...whatever than it was even 10 years ago. think there Iare those who actually choose their lifestyle at a point in their life. Some even revert later. I have heard this from a couple of women and a few men.

I think transgender is a whole different psyche than gay lifestyle. What worries me is the health issue. All the lifetime hormones, the operations. There hasn't been a long trial period to see how these drugs will effect their health. But it is not me. It is their decision, and I know they have been presented all the facts, and absorbed them. Plus the years it takes to have the whole operation, a person would have thought long and hard.

Being gay is not a "lifestyle" and people don't "choose" it.

That's is not what I said. Nor what I believe . First of all it is a lifestyle of sorts, and any gay will tell you that. There are gays in our extended family, and they talk about that all the time. Lifestyle being used in the context of a group of people who feel the same. Also, I said "some" but not all choose their lifestyle. That is true as well. It is not that often, but I have known a couple people who decided that is what they wanted, because of past issues. Maybe they are just free spirits, IDK but they have been married to opposite gender, had a kid, went to same gender relationship, then back to another opposite gender. it is the way they are, and I respect that.

Never say never. However, if you are parsing words, no, most do not choose. They are what they are.