Community Chat

[Shorty2U]

Can anyone relate to the days of dating?

I'm sitting here down in the dumps worrying about my oldest granddaughter.

She met who we thought was a fine young guy. They dated since February?. Everyone loved him! Hes from a good family, well educated, going to an Ivy Leaf college.

Well, she found out he cheated on her while he was on vacation no less. She confronted him, he lied at first then admitted it. (his best friend told her because his best friend told him off and isn't talking to him because he did this!).

Well thankfully my granddaughter was taught long ago not to take any kind of baloney and to be a leader.

She told him we are finished, even though he said oh come on he made "one" mistake. She said please bring the things you have of mine back on Monday and we are done.

I feel so bad. She is in her room in tears. And she told his sister because she just adores his sister and parents and they adore her. Seems he lied to his family when they yelled at him, and said he didn't do anything. Well his sister believes my granddaughter. (Not sure about his parents because you know parents stick up for their own kids).

I didn't call her, she wants to be left alone (according to her mom). But I think I'm going to send her a message in the morning just saying how much we love her and if she needs anything we are here..

Yes she will get over it eventually. But dating schmating!...lol...This just touched a nerve, because I hated those days and I am glad I am on my 2nd and wonderful marriage for the past 10 & 1/2 years, because I never want to relive dating again. (I hated dating in between my marriages UNTIL I finally met my husband!).

Although it may be unrealistic, I think she should focus on herself, and her college and the heck with boys (for now). So anyway. I'm sure she will be ok, but she was head over heals for him so I know what shes going through. (Hurt my family, hurt me if you get what I mean?).

[SunValley]

It's hard to watch our loved ones hurting. She is a wise young woman to take the hurt and move on. Sounds like this young man has some growing up to do or has a very different standard for behavior. Either way, your granddaughter has a good sense of her self worth. 

[Kachina624]

Ah, the heartache of young love.  Tell her it's just part of growing up and it may be the first of several.  How lucky she was to learn of his character flaw early in the relationship.  It would really be tragic if they were married.  He may be "all that" but he's not honest or loyal. 

[happycat]

I think it sounds like you have a strong granddaughter, and I would be so proud of her for taking care of herself....I hear of so many women, who think they "have to have a man", they settle for less than they really should and live to regret it.  I love to hear of an indendent, strong young lady like this.

She is gonna be better than ok, she's gonna be great.

[Newgate]

I do get what you mean!  It's called being a mother!!

She will be o.k.  Be proud of her that she decided not to keep going with him!  Most cheaters will cheat again!!

[nana59]

oh dear....i have 3 granddaughters, and one has just started dating........not looking forward to their heart breaks....i know you must feel like you could take her pain away......

[Gram W]

@Shorty2U.    Be thankful she learned now before they were together a longer period of time.   If she also is in college in the fall she will be busy with her friends and studies.  Maybe she will give her studies a priority for awhile.   It doesn't matter our age having something like that happen is devastating and shakes a ladies confidence. I also know but after my DH passed.   Maybe you could send her a small gift (bath soaps, scented lotions, something to pamper herself) and a simple card to show you are thinking of her.  You don't have to mention the breakup.  She knows everyone knows.  She probably needs time.   She already knows how much you love her.   If you call she might not yet be ready to talk and that would break your heart.  If you like send the gift overnight, FedRx, Priority to get it there faster.

I am a grandmother.  I had that happen to my son but he was married and did not seeing it coming.  Thank goodness they had no children.  Like you he recovered in time, remarried and has a son who is the light of his life.

Your granddaughter comes from a good family.  She will be okay given time and love from you all.  

[Plaid Pants2]

If she said that she wants to be left alone, I would honor that.

She may feel like holing up in her room for a few days.

Let her.

She will talk when she feels like it.

Yes, she will hurt for awhile, but she will be stronger because of it.

[occasionalrain]

They're not married, not even engaged, not living together, not a long tem relationship.