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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,079
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

I quit years ago, but the last couple days have been doozies and if I had some I'd be lighting up.

 

Of course, there is the virus stuff and that is horrible in and of itself.  Staying in is annoying but outside of bored I'm okay on that front.

 

A year ago this week my husband was in the hospital and after 5 days developed complications and died. The first anniversary of his death is in a couple days.

 

My sister is ill. Stage 3 biliary cirrohis of the liver. They think it's caused by an auto immune disease. It's causing blood vessels in her stomach to bleed. She's had to get blood several times and now iron infusions. Of course, she is very weak. It also caused her congestive heart failure.

 

Yesterday she said she fell backwards and landed on her back. Her DH who is not healthy and now has a blood clot in this leg went to help her up. She was no help because she has very little strength to assist him. It took an hour to get her on the couch. Every time he tried to move her her she made him stop because it hurt her back. She has said her legs were wobbly. She has a walker but was using a cane.

 

God forbid they call 911, a neighbor or her youngest daughter and SIL who live 20 mins. away.  She is in a lot of pain but won't calll her Dr. Her reasoning is what can they do? Gee, I don't know, make sure nothing is broken.

 

Oh, and I was warned not to tell her daughter "because Amy will get hysterical."  Sis has downplayed the seriousness of her illness for the same reason.  What if she needs a liver transplant, you can't hide that.

 

The daughter is married w/a teenage kid and 41 freakin years old. Yes, it's scary but for Pete's sake, but  life just sux sometimes. Hysterical doesn't help anything.

 

Anyway, sorry to unload. I got up on the wrong side of the slab.  I'm tired and aggrevated, and worried.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,591
Registered: ‎06-24-2019

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

My heart goes out to you for all that you are going through.  You have every right to feel the way you do.

 

Virtual hugs going your way.

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,113
Registered: ‎09-30-2010

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

[ Edited ]

@CrazyKittyLvr2   I know that urge.  I am praying for you, your family, and especially your sister right now.

 

Try to distract yourself from gloomy thoughts as much as you can.  The anniversary of youe husband's death will be particularly difficult.

 

When this rain clears try to go for a walk, even if just on your property.  Find a tv show or a good book, meanwhile.

 

I am at the point, many times, during this long slog of just living one moment at a time in the now--very challenging--but trying just to see the positive aspects that exist and dismissing all the current worries and negatives.

 

With warm regards,

aroc3435

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,036
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

@CrazyKittyLvr2 I'm so sorry you are going through such a sad time.  Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my losing a beloved sister ....I know how hard those anniversaries can be.  

Your sister sounds very stubborn.  If she doesn't want help I guess that's her right...but it's not nice of her to unload on you, leaving you to worry.  If it were me I would tell my niece anyway.,,,but that's just me!

 

I'm sure your daughter is having a sad time, too.  Maybe you two can go for a drive, sit outside with coffee enjoying the birds...fix a special meal, and of course play with your kitty!  Sending a prayer your way.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,140
Registered: ‎07-01-2012

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

@CrazyKittyLvr2 

 

It would not just be a cigarette I would be wanting, it would be at least one bottle of vodka to go with it.

 

This is an emotional time for you. Hoping the best for your family too.

 

Be kind and gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,952
Registered: ‎11-22-2013

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Please do NOT go back to smoking.  I am sorry for your family situation and some days we can feel overwhelmed with a sense of hopelessness.  I will lift you and your family up in prayer for healing and comfort in the days ahead.  The forum here is a wonderful outlet for people to reach out for support and we are here for you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,079
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Spoiler
 

@alicedee  I would never tell her daughter.  Not my call.   I don't care if DS unloads but I stopped asking questions and commenting because she gets snippy.

 

I know she doesn't feel well at all and is very worried so I listen, hang up and bang my head on a wall.

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,079
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

@Boomernichols  I won't, but man I want to.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,614
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Remember to play with little Petunia. Kitties are great healers. Don't smoke because it can affect her lungs too. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,399
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

@CrazyKittyLvr2 Oh my, you do have a lot on your plate....dealing with the anniversary of the death of your husband would be enough to have to deal with, let alone your sisters illness....take care.  You are entitled to your mood.