Birthday Gift Given Back - Page 6

pommom · ‎03-10-2010

Sad for the young lady.

If your face brightens when you meet a friend, you have struck gold. - unknown

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

If there aren't laws concerning teen siblings sharing a bedroom (and with an adult), there still may be laws about the size of the room to accomodate them---that may be violated.

The landlord perhaps isn't claiming income for his/her tentants, so they would never complain to this mother.

It's just not a good situation for these two older children to be sharing a bedroom and with their parent on top of that.

gizmogal · ‎05-09-2014

I think the gesture of a birthday gift was very decent. Your choice may have been too personal in terms of things connected to beauty and skin care, fragrance and esthetics. This mom sounds exceptionally protective and restrictive. Not every 16 year old girl is permitted to have fragrances, special soaps or lotions, or allowed to wear lip gloss. Any of that might be considered encouraging too much maturity, too personal, even wanton. I don’t think so, and I admire your kindness, but that mom might have had a different reaction.

Without knowing the values of the family, it’s not wrong to offer those gifts, but there might be a context for them not being accepted that is not that a birthday gift is rejected, but that particular type of product is not welcome or encouraged.

Perhaps a pretty leather tooled bookmark, a writing journal with a pretty pen, a teen oriented novel, something handmade, or a pretty ceramic mug would have been less personal but more acceptable to the parent’s view.

Don’t be miffed or decide this an ungrateful parent or you’ve been dissed. You gave with sincerity, the mother might have been too inflexible, but she most likely understands what’s behind a gift. Stay friendly and neutral.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

The mother simply denied the gift. We have no clue as to her reason, and it is rude to assume that SHE was being rude, as one poster keeps saying. She has her reasons.

Calling CPS? Good grief, no. Since the OP has had prior contact with the mom (and contact with the daughter), I suggest keeping that channel open.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

GrailSeeker · ‎12-01-2012

I know some Jehovah's Witnesses, and they do not celebrate birthdays, because if is perceived as a form of worship that is reserved for Jehovah. They do not celebrate Christmas, Halloween, or Easter, because they are perceived to be holidays of pagan origin. Anniversaries, however, are alright to remember with a gift.

Depending on the mother's culture of origin, the sleeping arrangements might be considered normal.

I agree it is not an ideal situation from our perception, but it is no doubt done out of necessity, and is considered acceptable for other cultures.

I agree that CPS should not be called. I do not think that traumatization of the family unit is the answer here. As long as the children have adequate housing, food to eat, and are safe with no other signs of abuse, please do not go down that road.

It could be that mother is living cheap in order to save for something better. I would think if they are indeed active in a church, someone in the church would be willing to help in finding a bigger place to live, beds, etc. She would also need appliances, so many things, after losing her home in a fire.

.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

@hsawaknow, you were kind. I think we have a case of a strict mother doing what she thinks is best for her family. While we may not agree with her parenting style, there is nothing else I would do other than to be pleasant to this family.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

She may have returned the gift because she is not able to reciprocate. If she is living in a single room with 2 kids, she must not have much money, so she may feel uncomfortable accepting gifts from others. It would concern me that her kids are so isolated.