Birthday Gift Given Back - Page 7

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

@suzyQ3 wrote:
@RetRN wrote:
None of this makes any sense. Clearly, something isn't right--the situation is not normal. I suspect the mother is an illegal.
@RetRN, and if she is? Anyway, you are basing this solely because she is from Africa. Otherwise, it would not have occurred to you.

It makes sense to me.. It expensive when you are a single mom with 2 teens. I don't think they really want to share a room, but make it work. The Op never said what job the lady has. The Op said it was a large home. So if there are 4 adults and two kids thats not a lot of people. (4 bedrooms)

BirkiLady · ‎02-22-2015

@hsawaknow The mother is a caregiver (and earning very little money; zero benefits). Their home and all the contents burned in a fire. They apparently did not have insurance. Sounds like she's caught between a rock and a hard spot, but is doing the best job of raising two teenagers in a difficult situation.

It also sounds like she has a lot of pride and would never accept help from anyone or any government entity. In many ways, she's teaching her children to work for what they need and want. Isn't that the American Dream? Didn't most of us make our dreams come true by hard work and determination?

Perhaps in Africa entire families do sleep in the same room. When my husband visited Thailand frequently, he had wealthy Thai friends who slept nightly on mats in their own homes on the floor. Just because we are not use to doing so, doesn't mean it's not part of their family's culture.

We've only heard the OP's side of the story. Let's not judge an unknown woman based on the OP's views from another room. Confident the woman and her two children would be devestated to know they were a topic of conversation about their lifestyle and so much more.

Money screams; wealth whispers.

catwhisperer · ‎07-11-2010

@hsawaknow....I'm sorry your generous gift was not accepted, but bless your heart for being so kind.

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.

lovescats · ‎03-10-2010

Did you open the lip gloss and check it to see if you liked the color before you gave it to her? Maybe it looked opened.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

There are a lot of different customs and taboos throughout the world. Honor her wishes and continue to be nice and caring. There are lots of little things you can do for the kids without gifting.

It's crazy to think the kids are prisoners unless the OP spells it out in the post. The world is a lot bigger than their way. Customs vary throughout cultures and countries and everyone needs to respect them (unless they harm someone).

c_la_vee · ‎03-11-2010

@hsawaknow Your intentions were good and I'm sure that the girl would have LOVED your present!

As a rule, I never give children gifts without their parent's knowledge, I always check with them first and ask if it's ok to give them the gift.

People have their reasons and I wouldn't want the kid to be sad that the gift was taken away.

If it's a birthday party or some event, parents are expecting their kids to receive gifts so I don't have to ask

I also tell my kids to never accept anything from people unless they run it by me first as I want to make sure it's appropriate and that I approve of the gift AND of the person giving it.

The mothier could have just thanked you and secretly thrown it out if she didn't approve of the gift but the fact that she brought it back. is to let you know that she doesn't want you giving them gifts and they pretty much want to be left alone..

But kudos for thinking of that girl.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@RetRN wrote:
None of this makes any sense. Clearly, something isn't right--the situation is not normal. I suspect the mother is an illegal.

The OP said that she has been living in this country for 20 years. How on earth could she be an illegal? She is working a full time job that screens their applicants anyway. Surely, she is a citizen. SMH

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@hsawaknow... I remember your struggles with a pancreatic issue. I hope that you are doing well. In addition, I think it was very kind of you to buy a gift for the young woman's birthday. It sounds like to me it is an issue with her religion and not celebrating birthdays. I remember we had a poster who kindly educated this board about the JW religion. Much of it I didn't know..

Please don't take it personally and best of wishes to you.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I thought it is possible to be here and work and still be illegal, in some jobs.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@goldensrbest wrote:
I thought it is possible to be here and work and still be illegal, in some jobs.

@goldensrbestThe OP shared that this woman cares for the elderly. I have never known an agency employing someone illegally in this country. Claiming she may be illegal is quite a leap. Just because she does not have the money to have separate bedrooms for her children? Just read "Nickled and Dimed" and see how people have to live working for minimum wage and nobody in that book was "illegal."